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Learning to top - 2/27/2008 6:48:18 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		I have a little issue here so quick back story. I am a sub and blissfully happy with my Sir. He however likes to bottom from time to time (not sub he has been there done that not for him). I have no trouble topping him sexually  although the first time he requested it, I was a little thrown. But we have spent time discussing it and I know now that when he is feeling this way he wants more than "sexual topping" and herein lies my problem because I have no idea where to start.

I am more than happy to do this for him, and I enjoy it although I also find it awkward , I actually see it as an act of submission because although I am topping it is at his request, never something I would seek to do of my own accord.He isnt really a massochist although every once in a while he gets a little craving for pain, but for the most canes ect are out.

I think what I am looking for is ideas on where to start, ideas on things I can read even links to threads (I am reading this forum with keen interest but it never hurts to ask)

So thankyou in advance for any suggestions  (and appolgies if this is a question that gets asked time and again)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Learning to top - 2/27/2008 7:28:36 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelslave77

.... I know now that when he is feeling this way he wants more than "sexual topping" and herein lies my problem because I have no idea where to start.

I am more than happy to do this for him, and I enjoy it although I also find it awkward , I actually see it as an act of submission because although I am topping it is at his request, never something I would seek to do of my own accord.He isnt really a massochist although every once in a while he gets a little craving for pain, but for the most canes ect are out.





Have him crawl across the floor nude, to Your feet, and *beg* You to worship Your divine body. Watch him grovel for a while. Smile as he pleads and begs... Then, after some time, tell him he's only good enough to worship the lowest part of Your divine body - Your feet (or Your ass - if you're feeling generous). Sit back, enjoy and watch him intently.

Afterward, if he licked and sucked to Your satisfaction, tell him he's earned the chance to work his way up the slave food chain toward a more divine part of Your body.


_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


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RE: Learning to top - 2/27/2008 7:40:59 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		 Mistress Dolly , thank you I think that sounds like it could be lots of fun

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RE: Learning to top - 2/27/2008 7:45:04 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelslave77

 Mistress Dolly , thank you I think that sounds like it could be lots of fun


Anytime, Sista :)

I hope you two have F U N :)

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


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RE: Learning to top - 2/27/2008 7:47:06 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		We always have lots of fun, he is very creative and thus I would like to be able to do likewise for him when he requests it.

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RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 9:14:53 AM   
Cradyn


Posts: 44
Joined: 2/16/2008
From: The belly of the beast(bitch persay)
Status: offline 		Just don't forget..."Do unto others as you would have done unto you" As in...Don't have him do something, you wouldn't want him to make you do :D I've made that mistake in the past. I have this wickedly vivid imagination and was topping for someone i KNEW was going to top me within a day. Saddly..i gave him all these cruel ideas that i later found out...were "crueler" than i originally thought they would be

_____________________________

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RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 1:15:31 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think it would be reasonable if you asked him what sorts of activities and attitude he was looking for in those switch sessions. I mean, he will be the one most likely to know what he wants, right?

I can't honestly give you more advice because I don't switch but I know that many people do so I hope they can offer you some insights and advice.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 1:52:14 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Sensation play and exercises, if you feel uncomfortable at times, making little games to play with him can help you be more amused, and ultimately more relaxed in the role of topping him. It doesn't have to be a serious mission to top him all the time, unless that's the mood you're going for. If he's not a big pain hog, just start pushing buttons, find out what is his thing. Various sensations (Tickling? Sensory deprivation? Hot and cold toys?), a little body worship as was suggested, or some humiliation maybe?

Definitely help him sample a wide array of things and see which he likes best, lots of talking about what he thinks of, what stimulates him, will help guide you to the right area.

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RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 5:14:44 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks.


Tammy Jo we do talk about it and he actually sent me on a mission to gather ideas, which we will then chat about and go from there

Prolific, I laughed when I read tickling as I would be very tempted to do it given I know he really hates it, but I am not that cruel. But you read my mind about the hot and cold I was actually considering that as an option.

Craydn, that is very much a rule we follow, he has told me he would never make me do anything he wouldnt at least be willing to try, so it works both ways.

I guess my biggest hurdle is to get my mind around the idea of switching, in a sense I see it as acting because it is so far removed from who i am so I am pretty much trying to write a script



(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 5:27:07 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Have you read the Topping book and when someone you love is kinky ?greenery press has those as does many OL and adult stores , written by Dossie Easton .
WOW Dolly that almost made me wish to crawl to the NJ area  t/y Ma'am
Inspiring contidutions  by all .kudos .

(in reply to angelslave77)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 5:43:14 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		thanks Az I will have a search for them, I would be seriously surprised if I found them in this town, so online will be my best bet. 

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 6:36:29 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
If he really isn't into pain, I'd go the bondage-route with him.  Restrain him thoroughly, add a blindfold and gag, and have your way with him.  But more important than that, take great, deliberate *joy* in every moment of it, embellishing how helpless he is, and teasing him ruthlessly with your body.  A great deal of effectiveness in topping is the confidence.  Make him realize you relish his helplessness.  Most of all -- have fun!

Akasha


_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: Learning to top - 2/28/2008 7:13:54 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I think the books could be had on amazon ,sometimes on ebay , and maybe even through the publisher directly . www.greenerypress.com  

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Learning to top - 2/29/2008 8:44:02 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Hey angel! I have a great suggestion ... a tag team! you and Me! With Him blindfolded of course so He's never really quite sure who is doing what ...

Suggested activities (not all at once, some of these are mutually exclusive!) - bondage, mummification, sensation play (pain on one side and pleasure on the other is a great mindfuck and He needn't know who is inflicting which), wax, hot and cold (nothing quite like a butter knife that has been in the freezer) ... and impact play of course. It could be fun to have one flogging His back hard ... and the other flogging His privates softly ... and if We really want to unsettle Him, We do it all silently and communicate between Us with hand signals. Though I'm not sure the 2 of Us could contain Our giggles LOL! Of course, all these ideas can be used solo ... but I can dream can't I LOL!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Learning to top - 3/1/2008 9:03:58 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Jay your evil, I wonder if I should direct him to this post, might be good punishment for the "Mother Goose" comment 

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Learning to top - 3/2/2008 12:12:46 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelslave77

I have a little issue here so quick back story. I am a sub and blissfully happy with my Sir. He however likes to bottom from time to time (not sub he has been there done that not for him). I have no trouble topping him sexually  although the first time he requested it, I was a little thrown. But we have spent time discussing it and I know now that when he is feeling this way he wants more than "sexual topping" and herein lies my problem because I have no idea where to start.

I am more than happy to do this for him, and I enjoy it although I also find it awkward , I actually see it as an act of submission because although I am topping it is at his request, never something I would seek to do of my own accord.He isnt really a massochist although every once in a while he gets a little craving for pain, but for the most canes ect are out.

I think what I am looking for is ideas on where to start, ideas on things I can read even links to threads (I am reading this forum with keen interest but it never hurts to ask)

So thankyou in advance for any suggestions  (and appolgies if this is a question that gets asked time and again)



http://www.collarchat.com/m_1610572/tm.htm

Hey, look at that.  I'm doing the link thing.  You did ask, however.

I asked this exact same question, and hereing lies some of the best and most useful advice I ever got.  Made for a FANTASTIC weekend.  Thanks again, everyone.


_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Learning to top - 3/2/2008 12:26:16 AM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		thanks stormslave

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Profile   Post #: 17
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