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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 11:30:33 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

Hell, I'm going to cook for Her, give Her massages, bathe Her, wash Her hair, take Her out on the town, and do anything else I can think of to make sure She remembers Her place above me!


Is it march yet?!!!!!


Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 11:35:00 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have to agree with what others said.  Master and i spoil each other. 

Matt's littleone

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 11:35:56 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's simultaneously more common than you think and not common enough.

Interestingly it's often the sub who gets squicked about being "taken care of" and told to relax.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 11:47:40 AM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Great topic - thanks for bringing it up!

I am spoiled by Master, most definitely.  He loves to be indulgent and I love to give him the same attention in return.  We do it in different ways.  I was the original poster on the 'pampered' thread and am coming up with ideas for further spoiling of him.  I honestly haven't been in a relationship like this before, but when we are both giving, it is such a positive thing and it just rolls right along. 

(in reply to Reform)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 11:58:42 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

I love being showed appreciation for my efforts. Usually a return effort, the attention to detail, little things, and just being noticed and noted are the kind of spoiling I like. I can handle a bit of material spoiling, or a bit of pampering, but if it gets to be too much I often feel guilt and discomfort, and have to ask for it to end.

I can be the prized pet, but I can't be a queen.


This tends to be me as well. I am just a natural spoiler and would be in any type of relationship. I am all for getting spoiled back but some things in some areas if done a lot or goes strongly against routine will freak me out a little. For example I know when he cleans or cooks a meal for me it is awesome and a very loving gesture but part of me feels I have let him down. Totally irrational but so is life as a human being.

I tend or would like to think like others have written that doing things/spoiling another will get returned in equal portions in a good relationship. Maybe not the exact thing, time or place we would like but the actions and thoughts are of pure caring.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 12:05:37 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
part of me feels I have let him down.

Graciously accepting a gift is a form of service to the giver.  Many independent, strong people -- male and female -- do not think that way, and it takes practice to change.  Also, if someone has a history of receiving "gifts" or money being used to manipulate instead of to show love, it's harder to accept presents without feeling suspicious.  I think this "problem" comes from the same mindspace that causes people to be unwilling to ask for help.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 12:47:48 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

I'm definately spoiled by some accounts. While I'm the one doing the serving in this relationship, he honestly loves me and likes to see me smile. So he'll let me have my favorite treats and he will do things just to make me smile.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 1:08:41 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
part of me feels I have let him down.

Graciously accepting a gift is a form of service to the giver.  Many independent, strong people -- male and female -- do not think that way, and it takes practice to change.  Also, if someone has a history of receiving "gifts" or money being used to manipulate instead of to show love, it's harder to accept presents without feeling suspicious.  I think this "problem" comes from the same mindspace that causes people to be unwilling to ask for help.



I agree and disagree.

I certainly agree whether being submissive or not accepting in a nice way a gift, compliment or nice gesture is a quality to have and no matter the struggle a proper behavior to show otherwise it really can be hurtful or insincere to the person who is doing it for you.

I agree we can consciously change our outward behavior and be accepting in a proper and good way. I though disagree that you can just overcome the feelings it can bring. Certainly on some level they are lightened but for me personally I cannot imagine not ever feeling sometimes I have let him down even when my brain knows I have not. I have and always strive to outwardly behave in a good way and by no means when I have feelings of this nature they dwarf the positive ones, but the negative ones will always be there.

I agree it is in the same category as unable to ask for help and I will throw in to initiate anything that would be for my pleasure as my motivation. This is just those pesky human illogical feelings sprouting up. The more I care and am submissive to someone the more I do not want to burden them with anything and what LA describes actions that take on a control freak type nature thoughts and actions.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 1:18:35 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I don't mean to imply there is any "just" about changing such things.  We're talking about really deep stuff here.  I do know -- both from my own personal experience, and observing others -- that it is possible to feel less guilty when receiving gifts or help.  For me, it has taken conscious effort to focus on that as a personal goal... and it has gotten easier with time and practice.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 1:20:43 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
part of me feels I have let him down.

Graciously accepting a gift is a form of service to the giver.  Many independent, strong people -- male and female -- do not think that way, and it takes practice to change.  Also, if someone has a history of receiving "gifts" or money being used to manipulate instead of to show love, it's harder to accept presents without feeling suspicious.  I think this "problem" comes from the same mindspace that causes people to be unwilling to ask for help.


Interesting thoughts.  I've been instructed to work on being able to receive a compliment from Master w/o feeling I have to give one in return.  Same idea - gift of a compliment or a gift of something concrete.  Thanks for the food for thought.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 2:09:00 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One
Interesting thoughts.  I've been instructed to work on being able to receive a compliment from Master w/o feeling I have to give one in return.  Same idea - gift of a compliment or a gift of something concrete.  Thanks for the food for thought.


Many years ago I read a book called When I Say No I Feel Guilty. Great stuff - took me a while to assimilate it, but I finally learned that the best way to receive a compliment or gift is to say, "Thank you."

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 2:58:28 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		Master spoils me, occasionally far too much. He cares for me, like no one else ever has, even when I am dangerous to small furry things and orphanages (you saw it, it attacked me) while I am trying to kick cigarettes. The fact that I have been smoking menthols longer than Master has been alive may have something to do with why this is being soo  damned difficult. But he has been very patient (snarl..want smoke).

OTOH I have spoiled him so badly he is decomposing. I think I am the first live in woman in his life who cooks, cleans, does taxes, does laundry, windows, research, finds lost keys and generally tries to make sure he has little to do save relax or play when he comes home.  Sigh..now if I could just do his job for him, it would be perfect.

poenkitten

(in reply to Reform)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 3:14:53 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One
Interesting thoughts.  I've been instructed to work on being able to receive a compliment from Master w/o feeling I have to give one in return.  Same idea - gift of a compliment or a gift of something concrete.  Thanks for the food for thought.


Many years ago I read a book called When I Say No I Feel Guilty. Great stuff - took me a while to assimilate it, but I finally learned that the best way to receive a compliment or gift is to say, "Thank you."


Thanks, SOW!  I may have to look that book up.  Master is very generous with his praise and compliments.  We had a date today and I had to give myself a mental reminder to just say 'thank you' a lot.  lol  I have found that while I do not mirror compliments back to him, and am accepting of his words, I do share more of my feelings with him.  Being able to receive is making it easier for me to share. 

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 3:31:01 PM   
MstrDennynSlave


Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		Master has spoiled me rotten. Even my friends that live states away have noticed it. These are vanilla friends even......lol. Took me a long time to even be comfortable with Master buying me jewelry, clothes, getting my car fixed for me. Last Christmas was hard as Master asked me what I needed or wanted. I've never thought about what I wanted or needed before. I've always done without so my children could have what they needed. All that has changed now. I have to tell Master what I want or need. He isnt satisfied with an "I dont know"...........lol. I'm slowly learning to tell Master what I want or need.

(in reply to jenf)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 5:15:24 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I suppose my question is this: How common is this really? Are we just odd in that the slave is spoiled rotten, instead of the Master? Or are there others like us?


I don't identify as slave and my Dom (husband) doesn't identify as master, so I don't know if it qualifies.  I do cook for him, clean up after him, etc.  But, yes.  When he's home, I'm pretty much his princess. 

Last weekend we dug a French a drain together.  There is nothing about shoveling mud that is feel good, IMO; but somehow he still made me feel like a princess, albeit a muddy princess. 

(in reply to Reform)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 5:23:03 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		I confess: I am completely spoiled.

My Lord has ruined me for any other man.  He listens to me!! Not only does he listen to me, he asks questions, makes appropriate comments, and most of the time, remember the conversation more than a day later. 

He cooks like a chef.  No kidding.  He will walk into our kitchen, and out comes the most amazing food, from something as simple as hamburger, cheese, and bread.  What the man does to potatoes ought to be criminal.  Sometimes I eat so much, I have a hard time getting up from the table.  He helps to make our food budget go amazingly far, and always manages to make the most of what little we have.

This past summer, while my body was getting used to my job, he literally stripped me and showered me a couple of times.  He took care of my dog so I can work, and generally looks after the house.  Once or twice I came home to a full bath full of bubbles, candles, music, wine, dinner in the tub, then to bed for a quicky and a good night's sleep.  He even stays in bed with me when he can't sleep so that I can sleep better.

The best thing he does is create a lack of stress.  He settles me in, cuddles me, hands me a beer, grills me dinner, then loves me into complete submission.  He doesn't complain about stupid crap, doesn't nag me, and puts up with my teenage daughter, which is true love, since she is an inconsiderate kind of brat, and hard to live with.  I don't get a laundry list at the end of my day of what she did wrong, but he brings trouble to my attention if needed. 

We live on a tight budget, so we have to work around that to spoil each other, and he never leaves me feeling as if I am wanting. 

I love this man!!

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to MstrDennynSlave)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 5:42:41 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		My Sir is such an amazing gentleman. We  dont live together but he always makes my time feel special. With chocolates, my favorite bourbon,cooks me dinner, takes me out, rubs my feet. the way he gives me a big bear hug and works his fingers up my spine at the same time. He has traveled an hour in each direction to drop off dropped keys to me,given me computers for me, my son, my students and is re-imaging my broken computer and reinstalling all the programs while saving my files. My computer wigged out after attempted upgrades to use my Valentines day gift of an ipod nano. I try to make it up to him by showing my appreciation, Flowers, tidying up if I get to his place first, cooking dinners and massage( I am certified and an Instructor). I sometimes wish he would ask for more. Instead he just inspires me to offer up my submission and my services.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 6:09:44 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I would say that I am spoiled but not because I am pampered.  I am spoiled because who he is allows me the opportunity to be who I am and demonstrate my love and devotion in a way that is extemely fulfilling for me.  I get the privilege to take care of him and his house, to be at his beck and call, arrange my life the way he wants. 

These things are very fulfilling to me and getting the privilege to do them for him makes me feel spoiled.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Reform)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 7:34:09 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I agree it is in the same category as unable to ask for help and I will throw in to initiate anything that would be for my pleasure as my motivation. This is just those pesky human illogical feelings sprouting up. The more I care and am submissive to someone the more I do not want to burden them with anything and what LA describes actions that take on a control freak type nature thoughts and actions.



Oh boy does it feel weird to see yourself in the words of others, but yes I am one who feels guilt, embarassment and so many other emotions when I am the receiver of a gift or compliment, particularly if it comes from Him.  He bought something pricey for me a month or so ago and I couldn't stop feeling guilty over it, and felt the need to thank Him constantly..... not to mention begging permission to take it back.

I am also one who finds it almost impossible to ask for help, much less accept it.  I simply cannot bear being a burden on someone or bothering them.

Needless to say it's an issue that I am working on, although I don't know if I'm making a whole lot of progress.

As to the original thread, He and I take care of each other and that is something I have never experienced before in a relationship.  For me, that is being spoiled somewhat as it's a new and wonderful feeling, and I'm still trying to get used to it.

I accepted my membership in the Perfectionist Control Freak Submissives Club in early 2007.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Spoiled Rotten - 2/28/2008 7:50:39 PM   
Reform


Posts: 151
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		A big thanks to everyone posting (or even just reading). It's nice to see I'm not a freak amung freaks.


quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
I accepted my membership in the Perfectionist Control Freak Submissives Club in early 2007.


What!? There's a club!? Oh man, why didn't I hear of this?

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 40
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