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Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:00:39 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Oksinse it seam so many discussion arise of the right definitions of words in the lifestyle, what of having a discussion in stead where pepole say what the words mean to them and i can be interesting to see how big or smal differances there is between pepole. Here are my definitions.

Master: A Master is a Master of somthing, a craft, an art or a slave. Somtimes used to speak to a man of mutch higer rank than yourself. Female variant is Mistress. One can always be a Dominant, but one is only Master and Mistress of a slave or a sub.

Dominant/Domme/Domina: A person in the lifestyle that like to dominate other pepole, that like to be in charge, they might the sadists or not, Being Dominant is a big part of their life and peronality, and while they may not be 24/7 it is always an inportant things to them, ofcourse that do not mean they play all the time, i am talking aboute how they define themself.

Top: A Top is somone that likes to dish out, he or she might not even be interested in power exhange, but often are. The Top takes the role of Dominant during a sense only.

Sadist: A sadist is a person that likes cause others pain, may or may not be interested in power exhange. Not all Dominants are Sadists and not all Sadists are Dominants.

slave: a slave is somone that is owned property, they give up the right to choose, they might be loved, cherished and all of that but they are propert.

submissive: this is somone that submit to another, they may or may not be marchosists and there is a thin like between them and slaves that also may or may not be marchosists. Generaly a slave is owned but a submissive is still free.

bottom: somone that likes to resive, often takes the role of submissive for a sene but it is not a big part of their personality.

marchosist: somone that like to resive pain, they may or may not be into power exhange, just like slaves, submissives and bottoms may not nessesary be into pain.

Switch: Somone that can be both Dominant or submissive, some switch constantly, even in a single scene, others have long persiods as either sub or Dom, some may be mostly such or mostly the other, it wary alot.

Fetisist: Somone whit an unusual sexual fetish, that be BDSM or having sex in rain clothing, all BDSM pepole are fetishists but not all fetishists are BDSM pepole.
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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:14:53 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		They sound good to me. Can't tihink what I would change.

(in reply to nella)
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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:17:52 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Well it will be fun to see if anyone answer and hear their definitions.

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:33:26 PM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting topic. And you're right to note that a submissive "may or may not be masochist", as I saw some profiles looking for submissive sadists...

But I'm a bit confused here :
quote:

NELLA
bottom: someone that likes to receive, often takes the role of submissive for a scene but it is not a big part of their personnality.

So... is being bottom just about being under the partner during sex ?? I don't get it. Actually I wondered why we needed those words "top" and "bottom" to define people... What doe a "bottom" like to receive" ? If it's pain, they're a masochist, if it's submission, they're submissive... I'm confused.

Oh... and then we need definitions for all the kinks, so we don't confuse creampies with apple pies any more :). There are quite a lot I don't understand at all.

< Message edited by frenchpet -- 9/20/2005 5:34:10 PM >

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:37:13 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		To my opinion the bottom likes to resive, he or she likes to be done to, that be pain, or Dominance, but they may not be submissive of personality, their intrest is just a bedroom kink.

i dont think we will ever get everyone to agree on what different definitions mean.

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:40:10 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		There are switches that are neither dominant nor submissive, but rather switch between top and bottom and have no interest at all in the dom/sub dynamic.

Fetishes don't have to have anything to do with a paraphilia. My housemate is a container fetishist. She has more bags, boxes, bins and drawers than I have ever seen before. People can have a fetish for Italian suits, glass figurines, baseball memorabilia or any of a million other things but there is nothing inherently sexual about any of it. People involved with BDSM can indeed be fetishists, but I disagree that everyone involved in BDSM is one.

~stef

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:45:50 PM   
frenchpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

To my opinion the bottom likes to receive, he or she likes to be done to, that be pain, or Dominance, but they may not be submissive of personality, their interest is just a bedroom kink.

Oh OK that all makes sense to me. I don't have a submissive personality, not at all. I never want to submit to anyone else than my girlfriend... but not only in the bedroom. I guess that still makes me a submissive...

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:47:39 PM   
frenchpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfgrrl
My housemate is a container fetishist. She has more bags, boxes, bins and drawers than I have ever seen before.
~stef

??? The sight of boxes arouse him sexually ??
From the Encyclopedia Britannica article "fetishism" :"Fetishism as a mental condition may be defined as the necessity to use a nongenital object in order to achieve sexual gratification. "
That's quite a restricted definition imho, but even extended to sexual arousal from non genital objects, I'd be really surprised that someone could be aroused by boxes... oh well after all, why not.

< Message edited by frenchpet -- 9/20/2005 5:53:37 PM >

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:52:40 PM   
Delvin


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Master/Mistress - Head of the household, in control of the daily life both in the house, and those who live within it. A Master Craftsman or a Masters in English is something completely different. Master/Mistress owns another human being or many. slaves serve Masters/Mistresses

Dominant/submissive - Something born with, and nurtured through their life. It is something inside you that dictates your emotions, your views of others and your views of yourself. D/s is the pc term from the old guard of Top/bottom. You are either Dominant with submissive tendencies or submissive with Dominant tendencies... it is what is in ALL of us. Lead, Follow or get the hell out of the way.

Top/bottom - term which a lot of us used for gay relationships that wiggled itself from the leather scene to the bdsm scene we see today, now called D/s. Top told others who was in charge of the relationship, bottom was who served the Top. We have all heard the "So, who is the man in the relationship"... S&M or not, pain or not, all in leather and all either IN charge or wanting to be controlled. Refer to M/s instead of D/s.

S&M - edge play. Extreme torture, pain both mental and physical. This is not the Saturday night spanking between hubby and wife(oooo you have been such a naughty boy....) scene. Better be sure what you’re asking for :)

Switch - see Bi-sexual references :) Can’t decide what they are.

Fetish - see Taboo. Usually affixed to deviant behavior. NOT "normal". The Moral majority will be glad to tell you what normal is.

----

slave - (sighs a moment) What I see as a personal insult to many slaves in the world is this "I am submissive so I am a slave" though never really understanding what a slave is to most or what a slave MUST do. Some call it a gift, others call it a calling, and many people confuse it as just being a bit submissive to someone else. This isn't a weekend get-away, or a scene.

Master and slave is something I live each day, and see Myself and my slave(s) as a pack, working together for the pack (family), all striving to survive. May not be THAT drastic as a wolf pack, though the concept is there, with one added and VERY important difference. a slave has no control over their life in any way shape or form. They have, through their own admission, given up all rights to them to someone else. Be it legal (consensual slavery most of us know) or illegal (see any third world (or Japan) country), a slave is a slave is a slave. Dominant or not, submissive or not, they are human beings that have decided to serve, to offer their mind and body to someone else to do with as that "owner" sees fit. Limits sure, limits of the Master/Mistress. Loved, sure, cared for, we all can only hope so but the end result is not having ANY control over the direction of your life in any way.

Master D

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:53:42 PM   
subversiveone


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:

Master: A Master is a Master of somthing, a craft, an art or a slave. Somtimes used to speak to a man of mutch higer rank than yourself. Female variant is Mistress. One can always be a Dominant, but one is only Master and Mistress of a slave or a sub.

Or they can just be someone who calls themselves this, who has no partner in the present, and prefers this title.

quote:


Dominant/Domme/Domina: A person in the lifestyle that like to dominate other pepole, that like to be in charge, they might the sadists or not, Being Dominant is a big part of their life and peronality, and while they may not be 24/7 it is always an inportant things to them, ofcourse that do not mean they play all the time, i am talking aboute how they define themself.

Or again, just a title they choose when and where they like.

quote:


Top: A Top is somone that likes to dish out, he or she might not even be interested in power exhange, but often are. The Top takes the role of Dominant during a sense only.

Top is only a designation to indicate the opposition of the other partner, the bottom. Some use this all the time and for some switches this changes day by day. I see this a lot with gay males. If by 'sense' you meant 'scene' I would argue that this top can use this title out of character as they please, just like all the other titles. I would simply define Top as the opposite of the bottom regardless of interest, motivation, or duration.

quote:


Sadist: A sadist is a person that likes cause others pain, may or may not be interested in power exhange. Not all Dominants are Sadists and not all Sadists are Dominants.

Very true. Also just someone who takes pleasure in any form they choose from other's pain be it at their hands or not.

quote:


slave: a slave is somone that is owned property, they give up the right to choose, they might be loved, cherished and all of that but they are propert.

Or unowned seeking to be owned. Some use this (correct or not) interchangeably with sub.

quote:


submissive: this is somone that submit to another, they may or may not be marchosists and there is a thin like between them and slaves that also may or may not be marchosists. Generaly a slave is owned but a submissive is still free.

Generally a submissive is someone who submits and chose this title over slave. Ownership has nothing to do with it.

quote:


bottom: somone that likes to resive, often takes the role of submissive for a sene but it is not a big part of their personality.

See top. Just the opp of top. Percentage of personality has nothing to do with it. I'm a sub, and im a bottom. I see it as another way of designating what role i prefer.

quote:


marchosist: somone that like to resive pain, they may or may not be into power exhange, just like slaves, submissives and bottoms may not nessesary be into pain.

I'd only add that we may not be always talking physical pain.


quote:


Fetisist: Somone whit an unusual sexual fetish, that be BDSM or having sex in rain clothing, all BDSM pepole are fetishists but not all fetishists are BDSM pepole.

all BDSM people are NOT fetishists. that would imply they could not acheive sexual satisfaction without it. simply not true!

< Message edited by subversiveone -- 9/20/2005 5:55:24 PM >

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:55:05 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Ok nice boxes, but i am not sure i understand what you mean, i am sorry.

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:56:53 PM   
subversiveone


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline 		I changed the format to make it more clear.

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 5:58:59 PM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Delvin

slave - (sighs a moment) What I see as a personal insult to many slaves in the world is this "I am submissive so I am a slave" though never really understanding what a slave is to most or what a slave MUST do. Some call it a gift, others call it a calling, and many people confuse it as just being a bit submissive to someone else. This isn't a weekend get-away, or a scene.


Actually, that's something that really bothers me too. In ths BDSM scene, even the most submissive 24/7 slave receives the love of their master and have a choice to stop the relationship... but thousands, and probably millions of slaves worldwide have nothing to say and no love...

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 6:02:52 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

??? The sight of boxes arouse him sexually ??

She, and no.

quote:

From the Encyclopedia Britannica article "fetishism" :"Fetishism as a mental condition may be defined as the necessity to use a nongenital object in order to achieve sexual gratification. "

Merriam Webster's Unabridged Dictionary : irrational reverence or attachment
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language : An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence

Fetishes aren't always sexual.

~stef

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Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 6:03:22 PM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone
all BDSM people are NOT fetishists. that would imply they could not acheive sexual satisfaction without it. simply not true!

Well if you talk about the restrictive definition of fetishist, yes. But if you extend it a bit, Nella's statement is true, as we are sexually aroused by giving or receiving pain, by bondage etc.

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 6:04:34 PM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfgrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

??? The sight of boxes arouse him sexually ??

She, and no.

quote:

From the Encyclopedia Britannica article "fetishism" :"Fetishism as a mental condition may be defined as the necessity to use a nongenital object in order to achieve sexual gratification. "

Merriam Webster's Unabridged Dictionary : irrational reverence or attachment
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language : An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence

Fetishes aren't always sexual.

~stef

Oh OK... but we're kinda talking about sexual kinks, here .

< Message edited by frenchpet -- 9/20/2005 6:05:18 PM >

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 6:11:49 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		To call one self a slave is NOT an insult to the unwilling slaves around the world, we are all talking in a lifestyle setting here, and in a lifestyle setting slavery is not what for example the slavery of dark skinned pepole in old America was.

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 6:11:55 PM   
subversiveone


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Delvin



Switch - see Bi-sexual references :) Can’t decide what they are.



I think you're going to get feathers ruffled over that statement, but not mine. "Can't" and "won't" are 2 totally different things. Maybe they are making a decision to play in many different ways.

quote:


slave - (sighs a moment) What I see as a personal insult to many slaves in the world is this "I am submissive so I am a slave" though never really understanding what a slave is to most or what a slave MUST do. Some call it a gift, others call it a calling, and many people confuse it as just being a bit submissive to someone else. This isn't a weekend get-away, or a scene.


I've never understood why so many people get their panties in a wad over this word. Yes, historically it's not a word to take lightly. For those that put the emphasis on the seriousness/severity of their chosen designation and get off'd by those who don't (call it elitism or whatever), i say Phooey! Wear your title with glee but don't be upset if you see the same title on a mall rat's tee shirt one day. Should everyone lower their voice a little when they say "slave" and widen their eyes?

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 6:15:24 PM   
frenchpet


Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone
I've never understood why so many people get their panties in a wad over this word. Yes, historically it's not a word to take lightly. For those that put the emphasis on the seriousness/severity of their chosen designation and get off'd by those who don't (call it elitism or whatever), i say Phooey! Wear your title with glee but don't be upset if you see the same title on a mall rat's tee shirt one day. Should everyone lower their voice a little when they say "slave" and widen their eyes?

OR, alternatively, we can pretend to be two civilized persons (I can only pretend) and agree to disagree on this subject, what do you think ? Same for Nella.

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RE: Different definitions. - 9/20/2005 6:31:17 PM   
subversiveone


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline 		LOL sure we can disagree, that's what makes this the internet.
I would like to say that I'm not bashing what I would call elitism as much as I'm refusing to go along with it.

and if fetishism is about being irrational or unreasonably excessive over something, again I say 'not all bdsm'rs are fetishists' ;)

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