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Terms of endearment - 2/28/2008 7:08:37 PM

BlackSakura

Posts: 131
Joined: 7/23/2006
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What are your thoughts on terms of endearment? As for me, they are not allowed for a few reasons. Are there any a sub could use that are acceptable to you?

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Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away, and you have their shoes!

Post #: 1

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/28/2008 7:23:01 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

I have nicknames and petnames for all of my close friends and loved ones. I'd feel a bit...uncomfortable if I couldn't call my Domme a cute, affectionate name at least every once in a while. I'd like to be loose and unhindered with my partner, not always feeling like I have to adhere to some procedure. That's just going to lead to a walking-on-eggshells feeling that isn't going to last.

So, yes, I'm all for terms of endearment.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 2

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/28/2008 7:29:02 PM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
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Believe it or not, I love to hear Maam, stirs My soul, but sweetie, darlin and the New Orleans "cher" work very well.

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 3

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/28/2008 7:39:28 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

I have no thoughts about terms of endearment, but I love your sig line!

What a man can call me depends on the man. I do have a weakness for a rural or working class accent--men with a little Down Home or Back Street in their voices can get away with all sorts of "darlin'", "hon", "babydoll", "little lady", "beautiful", "gorgeous", etc....because when they talk. they sound like home to me.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 4

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/28/2008 7:45:13 PM

LadyFluke

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/18/2008
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I like terms of endearment. Almost anyone who I care about is eventually going to be assigned one.

Usually we just use sweetie, love, and other mundane ones. I did use boy back when we were just friends and it's carried over now... and with the right tone of voice it's also his switchword for "Hey, you're my pet. Listen now." He once used child as an endearment term. This is allowable (to me) since he's used for years when he was simply my friend. He's mostly stopped using it though, I think, because he doesn't like calling his owner something that could be considered demeaning. -shrugs-

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 5

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/28/2008 7:48:00 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Yes I let him call me by my name or baby and I call him the same in a vanilla setting. But when we are alone he always calls me Mistress.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 6

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/28/2008 9:43:40 PM

DominaJayde

Posts: 110
Joined: 12/28/2007
From: Tasmania, Australia
Status: offline

I call my Boys, sweetie, pet, dearest, and darling, my Girls get called pretty, sweet, littleone etc, one of my boys calls me his darling Mistress and I just adore that, as long as I know it's said with respect and affection I encourage those little terms.

DJ

_____________________________

letting go is a freedom in itself
http://fetishfandango.blogspot.com/

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 7

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 2:14:54 AM

MollHackabout

Posts: 38
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline

My sub is French, and generally calls me chérie. I refuse to be called ma'am, mistress, goddess, or any of the like. I'd much rather have a more personal term of endearment used, but this is in part as a result of the nature of our relationship, which is ostensibly "vanilla" the majority of the time.

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 8

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 2:39:43 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

Hey you would wotk in New York as long as it was directed towards me..if i had permission..it would be darlin if i was feeling real frisky but most other times,Mistress or Ma'am.See we all had nicnames and i am still called by mine as is my surviving brother.The nicnames are a term of endearment and almost everyone had one back home.If ya want to know what they are..ya'll have to write me an e-mail....LOL.

(in reply to MollHackabout)

Post #: 9

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 4:40:56 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

In vanilla Im not a terms of endearment type guy. Sir, Maam, Miss or hey guy are about it. In the lifestyle I find that most subs like to be called my little slut. I always ask if they have a term they wish me to use.

(in reply to chezzy52)

Post #: 10

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 6:23:48 AM

MsIncontrol

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline

I never thought of a term of endearment being less than respectful. My pet and I are constantly using them. I call him soo many different things...and it makes us smile and laugh. He generally calls me by my name, Ma'am or Mistress. But on occassion he will call me Princess, Honey or Baby.

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Happiness is only real when shared. - Christopher McCandless

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Post #: 11

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 7:12:15 AM

Shewalksinbeauty

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

Personally I think that whatever works for you is just right. For myself, I find that the deeper the connection between the partners, all those derogatory names you might call a sub in scene, like slut or bitch, are just as endearing as sweetie or hon. I've caught myself on numerous occasions using all of the following terms in the same scene: pet, slut, love, and whore. It just comes out that way I suppose.

A while back I had created a thread about alternative names for "Mistress" We ended up using my name with Miss attached. That has become a term of endearment that he will call me even when we're being vanilla occasionally. But, since I speak French, I had toyed wth the term Maîtresse. The best term of endearment for me was when (after he indignantly refused the name) he randomly used it.

(in reply to MsIncontrol)

Post #: 12

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 11:03:51 AM

KindLadyGrey

Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline

I don't mind terms of endearment as long as they are used respectfully. The moment a term of endearment is used to infantalize me it is no longer allowed. I find men often use "sweetheart" in this way, which is a shame because it's one of the nicest used sincerely.

I am also a sucker for terms of endearment in foreign languages.

(in reply to Shewalksinbeauty)

Post #: 13

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 11:11:21 AM

sunshinedreams

Posts: 181
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

i usually call my Dom by his name. But i also call him Sir, Handsome or Honey depending on the circumstances. He calls me by my name and littleone, sweetie, cutie, slut and sometimes other things, depending on what he wants from me, lol.

sunny

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)

Post #: 14

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 4:12:17 PM

GoodgirlFind

Posts: 55
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline

I always say that some people are just generous with words like that and they dont necessarily mean it in a disrepectful or romantic way. I call both men and women "sweetie" or "hun" but reserve things like "baby" for my beloved/romantic interest. Alot of my gay friends say honey too.

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 15

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 5:42:14 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

I hate, hate, HATE being called Mistress. Once in a while I might let it slide, but to end every sentence like...

"Yes Mistress."
"No Mistress."
"Can I do something for you, Mistress?"
"The weather is beautiful outside, Mistress."

ARGH. Broken record! And being called "Ma'am" makes me feel old.

Really, the rush I get comes from when my pet calls me by my first name. I feel it makes my dominion over him less of an "act," separated from my quote-unquote regular self, and illustrates more that I own him with all of my being, not just a tiny part. I hear him say it and I literally get shivers down my spine... oh yeah... that's ME he's talking to, bwahahahahaa!

I also like being called "darling." It's very simple, very inoffensive, but sweet.

(in reply to GoodgirlFind)

Post #: 16

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 6:16:48 PM

KindLadyGrey

Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

I hate, hate, HATE being called Mistress. Once in a while I might let it slide, but to end every sentence like...

"Yes Mistress."
"No Mistress."
"Can I do something for you, Mistress?"
"The weather is beautiful outside, Mistress."

ARGH. Broken record! And being called "Ma'am" makes me feel old.

Really, the rush I get comes from when my pet calls me by my first name. I feel it makes my dominion over him less of an "act," separated from my quote-unquote regular self, and illustrates more that I own him with all of my being, not just a tiny part. I hear him say it and I literally get shivers down my spine... oh yeah... that's ME he's talking to, bwahahahahaa!

I also like being called "darling." It's very simple, very inoffensive, but sweet.

I feel the exact same way, word for word. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Most of the subs I meet think it's weird not to address me with a title.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 17

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 6:26:51 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

It really depends on the person and our dynamic. My pet has been known to call me many things, depending on the situation or conversation at hand.
As long as it is coming from a position of respect or affection, I usually do not mind. Sometimes I am feeling ornery and don't like to be referred to as anything but "Mistress" or "Ma'am", but its usually really easy to tell at that point (from the steam coming out of my ears I suppose)

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 18

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 6:27:56 PM

MissAidan

Posts: 208
Joined: 7/23/2007
Status: offline

I can not stand Mistress or Ma'am, and some of the other titles floating around out there are equally irritating to me. If I don't know you, my name or screen name will suffice. If you are a friend, you can get away with any number of nicknames. My Dom calls me pet most of the time, or babygirl, along with the assorted "dirty" terms that seem so popular. My former male sub always called me Miss (except when he forgot and called me Ma'am, lol), and my current girl usually uses Miss or Mommy. If she pulled out her Irish accent, she could call me damn near anything and get away with it!

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)

Post #: 19

RE: Terms of endearment - 2/29/2008 6:30:48 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

I hate, hate, HATE being called Mistress. Once in a while I might let it slide, but to end every sentence like...

"Yes Mistress."
"No Mistress."
"Can I do something for you, Mistress?"
"The weather is beautiful outside, Mistress."

ARGH. Broken record! And being called "Ma'am" makes me feel old.

Really, the rush I get comes from when my pet calls me by my first name. I feel it makes my dominion over him less of an "act," separated from my quote-unquote regular self, and illustrates more that I own him with all of my being, not just a tiny part. I hear him say it and I literally get shivers down my spine... oh yeah... that's ME he's talking to, bwahahahahaa!

I also like being called "darling." It's very simple, very inoffensive, but sweet.

Sometimes my pet will call me "darlin'" until I remind him that he calls everybody "darlin'" and had better find a different way to address me or I'll not bother to respond.

As far as "Ma'am" is considered, when I was about 30 and the grocery store clerks started calling me "Ma'am" I hated it. Now, if it is done right, and from the right person, I take it as it is offered: As a show of respect for my authority or knowledge.

But Mistress after every sentence would drive me nuts...

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 20

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