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born4serving -> Dealing with submissive feelings against Woman my family do not talk with. (2/29/2008 1:07:38 AM)
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I have to post this because these feelings are becoming more and more strong. To cut a long story short, I have many relatives who have done bad things to my family and for those reasons my family do not talk with them no longer. However, of all these relatives and friends, who are Woman, I have a very very strong desire to simply worship the ground them walk on. Let me give you some examples.
I have had so many experiences where I I have had arguments with Female friends who swear at me had have said nasty things about me, but the minute they tell me to do something for them, no matter how cruel they have been to me in the past, the slave that I am, I just crawl back to them and do whatever they ask.
I am ashamed to admit this even as I am writing this right now, but deep deep down as much as I would hate that person, I would love the thought of loving someone who has been so bad to me or my family. it’s a sort of a submissive trigger inside of me that takes over.
I think of crawling back to all the people that my family have arguments so much that I even dream of it. I’ve dreamt entering their house and sneaking into their room whilst no one else is there to bow before them; last time I dreamt this, in the dream I was on my kneels at the feet of one of these Female people that we do not speak to as she was sitting on the toilet seat before me.
Another dream was when I went round this one persons house where a girl called Sharon made me a sandwich to eat, who ofcourse my family does not chat to either because of the horrible things that she has done to my family. As I went into the kitchen, I dreamt that she trodded on each slice of cheese that she place in the sandwich, that she did not wash the lattice or cucumber slices but instead inserted them up her anus just before sitting them on the sandwich. As I watched this in my dream, she was not aware that I was watching. She finally coughed up a load of phlegm that she spat inside the sandwich. As she handed me the sandwich, I smiled with delight and thanked her and ate it all up and told her how great it tasted.
Another member is my uncle’s wife, as she is quite young is quite bitchy and we no longer talk to her. Whenever I used to go round my aunt’s, it is so exciting as I always borrow her knickers to wear. I think of it more like serving her. I always look for her wash basket and dig out her dirty knickers. I then take the dirty knickers home. This is where the service begins, as I being to sniff them and suck out any urine soaked into the knickers. I then wear them for a day or two, and yes this includes wearing them round my aunt’s house. Whist chatting with her and her children; underneath little do they know who’s dirty knickers I am wearing.
After wearing them for a day or two, I then pride in hand-washing them myself until their fully fresh, and that is when I return them in her closet nicely folded. I have been doing this service for about 6 months now, and it is becoming second nature to me. It is ironic though, as when I was a lot younger and I used to stay the night round my aunt’s, there were times when I had no change of clothes to sleep in. My aunt kindly used to let me wear her leggings, but I felt too ashamed back then; its funny, as now, let alone wearing her leggings, I would not be able to keep myself out of her dirty knickers. I just love wearing them, their so much prettier then wearing boxers.
The best thing is when I am at home around family and they mention her how horrible she is; I immediately go to my bedroom and kiss her knickers and wear them as I re-enter the room where my family are sitting whist wearing her lovely knickers underneath my clothes.
I cant help this submissive side to me – I just love it soo much. Can someone please tell me what they think of this? is this good thing or a bad thing?
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