Relationship Between Doms (Full Version)

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Fox108 -> Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 5:16:21 AM)

I have a relationship with aMistress who wants me to be a Dom, I am strictly Vanilla and I have tried to learn this lifestyle, but everything is moving so fast.  The misstress that I'm refering to wants me to feel comfortable with me being her number 1, and being a Dom by herside, but she wants her subies to stay in the pic because there are a couple of things that I just can't do.  She also just had one of her subies from overseas come and live  with her even though I told her that I didn't want this to happen.  And she has said if she wants to have intercourse, if she feels she will, even though I have said no. She wants me to be with her so that she can switch and she states she needs for a strong male to ground her.  I don't know how any of this helps me to come into the life style.  Being that I am new to the lifestyle and we have only known each other for less than 3 months.  But she wants to continue and try to build the relationship.  I don't see how she can mentor me if shes moving so fast.  I think I need her for mentoring becaus I really want to please her as much as possible and I would like to develop the relationship but I have reservations.  What should I do




LadyHathor -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 5:45:45 AM)

...you have a Mistress and you are vanilla...
 
ok I need more coffee.




mnottertail -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 5:51:55 AM)

He's also a cross-poster in violation of TOS.  Cut and paste from ask a master forum.   Not an auspicious beginning down the road to a reign of terror, I must confess.

Ron 




Madame4a -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 6:07:11 AM)

Its actually posted in several places, in other threads




Jeffff -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 6:09:41 AM)

Between the op and the cross posting, this can only end badly. My prediction......PAIN!

Mr.T




lronitulstahp -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 6:09:45 AM)

quote:

  I have a relationship with aMistress who wants me to be a Dom, I am strictly Vanilla
ok folks...case closed...nothing to see here...move it along....




MissHarlet -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 7:11:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

  I have a relationship with aMistress who wants me to be a Dom, I am strictly Vanilla
ok folks...case closed...nothing to see here...move it along....


This is so contradictory that yoc cant even call him a " butterscotch Dom"  its just a confused vanilla with cuffs at best .. and a storyteller is more likely




Dnomyar -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 7:24:48 AM)

Come on Ron. We can have more fun with terroist. Miss Harley please explain to me a butterscotch Dom. I like that as an ice cream topping.




LaTigresse -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 7:28:47 AM)

Dear Fox,

Have you met the woman of my fantasies......#11? I predict that you will..........sooner than you might like.

Good luck to you (you might need it)

LaT aka June




lronitulstahp -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 7:37:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Dear Fox,

Have you met the woman of my fantasies......#11? I predict that you will..........sooner than you might like.

Good luck to you (you might need it)

LaT aka June

i double checked Your prediction with my magic 8 ball..."signs point to Yes"




MissHarlet -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 8:26:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Come on Ron. We can have more fun with terroist. Miss Harley please explain to me a butterscotch Dom. I like that as an ice cream topping.


Butterscotch Dom is someone that is no way a Dom .. but enjoys pretending he is .. and  has read all the right books .. but is not totally vanilla at least not in his fantasy world .. but could never ever really wear the Dom hat for long even online ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 8:30:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

[
Butterscotch Dom is someone that is no way a Dom .. but enjoys pretending he is .. and  has read all the right books .. but is not totally vanilla at least not in his fantasy world .. but could never ever really wear the Dom hat for long even online ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway



well shoot, I thought it was me, Ron, some ice cream, and a PARTY!  oh well!




lronitulstahp -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 8:34:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Come on Ron. We can have more fun with terroist. Miss Harley please explain to me a butterscotch Dom. I like that as an ice cream topping.


Butterscotch Dom is someone that is no way a Dom .. but enjoys pretending he is .. and  has read all the right books .. but is not totally vanilla at least not in his fantasy world .. but could never ever really wear the Dom hat for long even online ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway
So basically...most "doms" i meet...NOW She tells me!!!
~caramel sub




Dnomyar -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 9:17:41 AM)

Fox  shudder I have met #11. Please put me in your will before you meet her.  Thank You MissHarlet.




MissHarlet -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 9:22:50 AM)

Any time .. I realize that as an " older" Dominant I sometimes have a language of my own lol




Fox108 -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 12:51:21 PM)

First of all, I am new to this site, secondly, I made a mistake by posting the same question in more than one place. I am sorry.  But my intention was to get some responses from both Doms, male and females.  I am serious, and as I said I don't have a BDSM relationship with my female friend.  She is a Mistress and I am Vanilla.  She thinks that if I get invovled in this life style that our relationship will grow.  All I'm loking for are answers and/or opinions as a newbie to this way of life and I'll take it from there




Fox108 -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 12:54:11 PM)

I am sorry if you were bothered but I am sincere, if you read my post of today I hope it will clear up what I'm trying to do




MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 1:06:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fox108

First of all, I am new to this site, secondly, I made a mistake by posting the same question in more than one place. I am sorry.  But my intention was to get some responses from both Doms, male and females.  I am serious, and as I said I don't have a BDSM relationship with my female friend.  She is a Mistress and I am Vanilla.  She thinks that if I get invovled in this life style that our relationship will grow.  All I'm loking for are answers and/or opinions as a newbie to this way of life and I'll take it from there


My opinion is that the person you should be discussing this with is your female friend.

Beyond that....frankly, your first post required a secret code ring to decipher, no matter where you posted.   If you have specific BDSM questions, then ask.   If you're so new to the concept of this lifestyle, ask your friend for a recommended non-fiction reading list to help you understand the lifestyle better.   Above all, recognize that one size does not fit all - if you haven't had much interest in BDSM up until now, it may not be for you.

I'll send you the bill for my 2 cents.




Dmon -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 1:18:24 PM)

Well I don't know if posting the same message on different boards is allowed, but it seems wise enough. He wants diferent peoples opinions, from different perspectives. That plus he'll got more advice to process, so he can come up with an educated choice. But that aside...

I"m not a Domme, but it sounds like you two are on the wrong path. You are naturally submissive to her, which helps her covince you to become a Dom. Not the worst thing in the world, but she's already expressed that she wants her man do Dom her. In a sense she's topping from the bottom. She wants you in control, but only her way. Not bad if it works for you, but you wouldn't be here if you didn't have fears.

My suggestion. Try to learn some submissive empathy. You already want to make her happy, but you have to realize she won't be happy till your pulling her strings. I suggest you start calling the pace you learn at. Showing disapproval when she does something you don't like. If she want's to be a sub so damn much, then she needs to think about you first. Tell her that, and if it doesn't work out well that way, maybe you two need to have a talk about whats going on.

Really a Dom or Domme understands that there submissive wants to be put second in alot of things. So put yourself first. Don't think about something you'd both like to do. Think about doing something you'd like to do, and tell her thats what your doing. If she wants to make you happy, then she'll do it. And if she's submissive she'll want to make you happy. Try those hats on.. both of you. One or the other might find they don't like it so much. Then you'll have your answer, and you can find the best path to take.

Hope that helps some. Thought it's really just my 2cents.  I know I"m responding on the wrong board, but I really don't want to go look for this anywhere else.

Wondering what I'm doing, always. (my Motto)

D




PsyVamp -> RE: Relationship Between Doms (2/29/2008 6:35:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet



Butterscotch Dom is ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway


But I don't LIKE butterscotch... can we just call him Death by Chocolate??? 





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