OUT HERE ON MY OWN

OUT HERE ON MY OWN (Full Version)

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subbella -> OUT HERE ON MY OWN (9/20/2005 11:33:46 PM)
Out Here On My Own I wake up each day with a renewed hope that someday I will find what it is I am truly searching for. It is hard sometimes not feeling that sense of belonging to someone and feeling so totally alone. He wants me to open up to him and tell him what I wants from him. When I tell him he doesn't understand. It hurts to know that my true desires are not being met in this new relationship and I wonder how long I can sustain. I care for him and I am trying so hard to embrace this vanilla life but my heart is closed to him and he knows it. He can see it in my eyes and sense it in what I do not say. For I feel as if I am living a lie. Denying what I truly am. I am no longer known as "bella" and I miss that so much. I wonder will I ever be anyones "bella" again?

booh -> RE: OUT HERE ON MY OWN (9/27/2005 5:13:50 PM)
ohhhh bella ...... ive been following your writing for quite a while but i have not been on collarme for sometime now ........ i really like your writing but tonight when i came here for the first time in a long time i felt sad reading your writing ....... it can imagine it being hard but i wish you all the best ....... and i really hope you will be known as bella again soon ........ keep up your writing because you truly have a talent x x

subbella -> RE: OUT HERE ON MY OWN (9/27/2005 10:03:08 PM)
Thank you, booh Yes, life threw me a curveball. It was unexpected and very hard. Walking away from the Master I loved so much was painful and sad, but it has turned out to be a wise and healthy decision. My new relationship is extemely vanilla, but it is true and real. Soon we will be cohabitating, and I hope that it continues to be good between us. Time will only tell. bella

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