dcfirmhand
Posts: 20
Joined: 2/23/2008
From: DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: prinssesgabby
how do i get my husband in to this i love it and he is like a vergin all around
First, I think you have to get clear on what "this" means to you. BDSM is a broad set of experiences ranging from something as simple as a firm spanking to something as complex as being bound, gagged, and suspended upside down by your ankles while someone pierces your skin with needles! And just about everything in between that you can imagine!
So, to start you should decide for yourself what "this" is that you want to get your husband into. How would you like to submit to him? What form would you like his domination to take?
I interpret your post as indicating your husband is (a) probably unaware of your interests in BDSM and (b) probably not very familiar with BDSM himself. In that case, I would recommend you don't spring the term "BDSM" or your most extreme fantasies on him. He might have a negative reaction to it, he might find himself wondering "Who is this woman I thought I knew?", or he might just get scared and defensive when he discovers you have kinks & desires that he was unaware of and may not be confident he can fulfill.
I think you should start by giving him some openings (pun intended <evil grin>) without defining it as BDSM and seeing what his response to it is. Like others have said, it's all about the communication. Give him some ideas! "Baby, it would really get me going if you ________" or "You can do ___________ to me if you'd like. I think I would enjoy it if you did." After the two of you are finished up, tell him how much you liked it, and talk to him about how he felt about it.
Whatever "it" is for you, you might find that he really enjoys it, maybe even really desires it, but has been worried about how to ask you for it himself. You might find that he's never really considered it, and you taking the action to introduce it into your everyday life might make him more interested in exploring it. You might also find that it's not really his thing -- and that is a risk.
If his response is positive, continue exploring. Make more suggestions. Ask him what he would like to do to you. Tell him "If you ask, I might do it." As you and he get more comfortable pushing your current boundaries in your relationship, then maybe you can broach a conversation more specifically about BDSM by saying something like, "Remember the other night when we did ___________ on the kitchen table, then you did ___________ while I was __________? That was so hot that I just had to go do some research online about it. I came across this site, <insert favorite BDSM site here>, and it gave me all sorts of new ideas! Can I share some of them with you, maybe show you this site?"
No one knows your husband as well as you, so no one can dictate the pace but you. But my recommendation is start slow, offer up a few boundaries here and there, ask him about things he's always wanted to try and be accepting of his fantasies. Most importantly pay close attention to his reactions and attitudes throughout the experimentation, so you can find the right time to introduce him to the more formal concepts of BDSM.
Good luck!
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RE: bdsm - 
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