Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Men who talk more than women-turn on or off??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 7:30:55 PM   
ObediantMan1


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		After reading a snide remark from a male poster on this site, I decided to check out his profile.  Perhaps not to my amazement, I saw the longest profile I have "almost" ever seen.

A question for the Dommes.  Do you like men who talk non-stop, or are you more attracted to a man who speaks honestly and can do so briefly?

It is a fact that women generally speak twice as many words as men do on a daily basis.  Generally, they are more articulate and the sound of their voice is appealing. 

What do the ladies think out there?  Do you want a man that talks more than you, or do you prefer a man that speaks when spoken to?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 7:44:06 PM   
MollHackabout


Posts: 38
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline 		It all depends on what the man has to say. Not all men who speak at length are speaking "dishonestly", as you seem to imply.

(in reply to ObediantMan1)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 7:50:18 PM   
ObediantMan1


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		Moll, I wouldn't say a verbose man is speaking dishonestly, but what came to mind was when women say that men feel the need to give their life stories...And when a man is sarcastic and tells a Domme what he will do and wont do, then that goes beyond expressing concerns on limits.

My personal experience is that women want you to be open and honest and direct.  After being so, they will make their decision.

(in reply to MollHackabout)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:11:49 PM   
MollHackabout


Posts: 38
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObediantMan1

Moll, I wouldn't say a verbose man is speaking dishonestly, but what came to mind was when women say that men feel the need to give their life stories...And when a man is sarcastic and tells a Domme what he will do and wont do, then that goes beyond expressing concerns on limits.

My personal experience is that women want you to be open and honest and direct. After being so, they will make their decision.


I would expect some nature of life story from a potential sub; without that, we're strangers. If too much extraneous detail is included very early, that can be undesirable (and by undesirable, I mean boring and off-putting.) But that relates to having something substantive say, rather than talking to hear your own voice. It's not a matter of speaking when spoken to, for me, but rather speaking when you have something interesting/relevant/important to say.

I also expect to be told what a sub will and won't do (or would prefer not to do), to ensure compatibility - that's being open and honest. Sarcasm is another thing; I prefer a "sassy" sub, but not when discussing something as serious as limits. I understand other Dommes may have different preferences, including a desire for a man who uses an economy of words!

(in reply to ObediantMan1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:17:35 PM   
ObediantMan1


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		Boy, you just hit on an entirly new topic.  The sassy sub, or the totally obediant one.   Some Dommes have appreciated my humor while others would not tolerat it in the least.

The latter has gotten me in trouble on a few occasions.  I make a funny remark when she doesnt want to hear it, and I find myself in trouble.

I think humor is an indication of intelligence and self security. 

(in reply to MollHackabout)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:18:05 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObediantMan1
My personal experience is that women want you to be open and honest and direct.  After being so, they will make their decision.


I think communication is more complex and spans more than what you describe above, which seems to have profile information as its context.

quote:

Do you want a man that talks more than you, or do you prefer a man that speaks when spoken to?


I don't think the dichotomy described above exists.

While the idea of a man speaking when only spoken to might be interesting from a D/s perspective, it does not strike me as interesting, at least for my relationships, at a broader interpersonal level.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to ObediantMan1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:26:48 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I expect a man to entertain me, and that involves good conversation.  However, men who talk exclusively about themselves are not what I would consider desirable.  They have to be able to listen, as well!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:34:08 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		I think what they have to say is very important... as well as how they say it... I need to find out about them.. who they are as a person. If I feel that I have to Pull and drag every last detail out of them it will get tiring and I will not continue. If they totaly lack any sense of humor.. or have that chip on thier shoulder... Nope sorry move along. Some have been so emotionaly beaten in the past I have to remind them I am not the Big Bad Gwynnie.. and I am not going to eat them up if they come close to me. That is sad.. and I try to work with them on that.

Generaly as long as they dont do the whole " I am looking for my dream Mistress who will lock me in a cupboard, and I will never have to think or do anything another day of my life again" I will real the full profile. Sissy profiles also get passed by. I already got one.. all full up here.

Show me some personality.. none of this " I am a worthless slave.. only here to serve... unworthy...blah blah blah" if I want a new door mat.. I will go to Target.

So go ahead and write a novel.. just make it interesting.

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to ObediantMan1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:36:08 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I expect a man to entertain me, and that involves good conversation.  However, men who talk exclusively about themselves are not what I would consider desirable.  They have to be able to listen, as well!


As I tell my Um who is male.. " There is a reason why God gave you 2 ears and only one mouth... he was hoping you would listen twice as much as you talk."

I think that is part of the whole chemistry thing.. being a good listener and talker. Knowing "when"

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:38:46 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I expect a man to be able to hold his own in terms of communication ... by that I mean that he can give full, well structured answers to questions, can ask thoughtful questions, be as willing to initiate conversation as I am, and listens attentively. I hate long rambling blurbs full of "he" and "she" with no terms of reference as to who "he" and "she" might be (and generating the nagging feeling that there at least 3 "he's" and 4 "she's" in this story somewhere!), and I also hate whingeing, whining, griping, sulking and pouting. Act like an adult not a spoilt kid! I do talk a lot (freely admitted) so a man has to be a confident and competent speaker to keep up. Silence, "yes Ma'am" and "no Ma'am", especially in response to a question, do not capture My interest. I want answers!

As to what type of sub ... I have a great sense of humour and very much appreciate that in a sub (as well as in My Dom!). I love repartee and I can cope with some goodnatured teasing. BUT ... there is a line between humour and brattiness ... a new sub should feel their way along, don't take too many liberties at first, I will endeavour to point out where that line lies. Once that line is clear, know that crossing it will get you in the shit! I usually give a warning ... take that as a hint and pull back. Apologise. And remember!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 8:44:23 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		<QR>

Statistically speaking men speak more than women, especially in groups.  Men exert "comversational dominance" in which they need to be controlling the conversation.  Men find it ok to interupt other speakers to add their points, while women tend to spend more time agreeing and waiting.

These are ~5-10 year old sociological findings, which are probably not repressentative of the kink world, particularly Dommes and male submissives.  Please allow for the understood exclusionary rule, where "men" does not mean "EVERY man" and "women" does not men "EVERY woman".


_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Gwynvyd)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 9:37:18 PM   
lovewithoutfear


Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		OFF-TOPIC
I had the impression from what I remember reading years ago, that speech patterns depend on the group.  That there are more words in all-women groups and fewer in all-men groups, but that in mixed-sex groups men speak and interrupt far more, and women agree and wait far more...but most people of both sexes perceive and assert the opposite (think about the potential for social control inherent in telling someone/a group that they "talk too much.")  As a woman with fairly masculine conversational patterns, I take some heat for doing what men do as a matter of course.  I think I'll go look up the references. 
/OFF-TOPIC (apologies)

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 9:44:32 PM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObediantMan1

Boy, you just hit on an entirly new topic.  The sassy sub, or the totally obediant one.   Some Dommes have appreciated my humor while others would not tolerat it in the least.

The latter has gotten me in trouble on a few occasions.  I make a funny remark when she doesnt want to hear it, and I find myself in trouble.

I think humor is an indication of intelligence and self security. 

But....I thought you got yourself into trouble on purpose so She would beat you!
I know a certain #1boy who yanks my chain on every conceivable occasion "just to watch my nostrils flare" & to make me chase him around the house with a stick!

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to ObediantMan1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 10:02:58 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObediantMan1
What do the ladies think out there?  Do you want a man that talks more than you, or do you prefer a man that speaks when spoken to?


One a day to day basis, I prefer someone who talks about the same amount that I do.  I find non-stop talkers of either sex very irritating.  However, it is not fun to talk to a person who can't hold up their end of the conversation, either, where I end up having to do just about all the talking.
 
During a scene, I prefer a sub who talks very little.  When in top-space, I love to do most of the talking and just have the sub answer.  A "chatty" sub is apt to get a gag if he talks during a scene.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to ObediantMan1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 2/29/2008 11:17:09 PM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline 		If I despair of ever getting a word in edgewise with him, the man is talking too much. If I have to repeatedly ask to be allowed the right of way in finishing a sentence or a thought, the man is talking too much. I've had both of these happen, and things never got beyond the "let's meet and chat" stage.

I like good, enthusiastic, two-way conversation. I want partners who can negotiate and answer questions. But I don't want people around me who _have_ to have conversation all the time, possibly in order to drown out the voices in their heads.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 3/1/2008 12:14:48 AM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline
quote:

After reading a snide remark from a male poster on this site, I decided to check out his profile.  Perhaps not to my amazement, I saw the longest profile I have "almost" ever seen.


women and men would likely agree if they go to view a profile in the first place, it is much better to be in length than be completely empty or contain just a few lines of dribble, but the neat thing about reading profiles or reading in general, is you don't have to read into it any farther than you care to.

quote:

Do you like men who talk non-stop, or are you more attracted to a man who speaks honestly and can do so briefly?


women and men would again likely prefer not being lied to, however brief or drawn out it may be, and while being able to speak for oneself clearly and in short is something of a necessity, i would not quickly confuse prattling with "having a way with words", and outside military functions both genders will probably prefer people that converse beyond the simplicity of a "Speak & Spell".

quote:

It is a fact that women generally speak twice as many words as men do on a daily basis.  Generally, they are more articulate and the sound of their voice is appealing.


might you wonder why you find the female voice generally appealing?

quote:

What do the ladies think out there?  Do you want a man that talks more than you, or do you prefer a man that speaks when spoken to?


one person speaking moreso or less than another has nothing to do with speaking only when spoken to.  when not out of place, most people will surely enjoy conversation and people that can carry one.

quote:

what came to mind was when women say that men feel the need to give their life stories...And when a man is sarcastic and tells a Domme what he will do and wont do, then that goes beyond expressing concerns on limits.


plenty will attest to looking for a person differently than buying a new tv, there is much more of concern than just the features, model, and make when you are looking for a partner of sorts.  character and personality are important to most people, and "going beyond" is generally a plus, even concerning the idle and arbitrary things, "going too far" is what people should shy away from more often.

quote:

My personal experience is that women want you to be open and honest and direct.  After being so, they will make their decision.


my personal experience is people should be what they are, in trying to be direct you may only be seen as coming on too strong or being too forward, and many people will prefer those who are more calm and reserved.

in terms of decisions about profiles, or just profiles of people seeking dominant women specifically, or anyone treating this site as the "matchmaker personals"...  even when someone labels themself as an ownerless "slave", this is not a slave market, and it is not the dommes decision to make any more than it is of the submissives.  likewise the dominant has just as much responsibility in "profiling" themselves as the submissive would.

a profile is a chance to tell any and all who care to know what things you think are important or noteworthy of yourself to others, and if people are going to be honest and open about themselves...  when it turns out they have very little to say about themself, that isn't "saying very much".

(in reply to ObediantMan1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 3/1/2008 2:43:40 AM   
chezzy52


Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		For me it depends on where i am,circumstances and all.Depends on the Domina as well.She may very well want peace and solitude first thing in the morning so one can enjoy the sounds of nature arising from its slumber.Or she may be a newsi type and want to discuss current events and politics or she might skip it all and just ask how i am and did i sleep well??As a rule,i love to talk or at the very least put down thoughts on paper.I know what i wouldn't like to talk about every single morning....and that is a BDSM topic.Who knows..i might end up telling fart stories...it is all whatever the moment brings.

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 3/1/2008 5:10:47 AM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		Isn't this what gags were invented for?

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to chezzy52)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 3/1/2008 5:21:44 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

Isn't this what gags were invented for?


heh chezz, Walter is on to you..
 
I have to say it depends on the subject--I am not tolerant of someone who constantly talks about sex, strapons, being taken etc etc etcm blah blah blah---that will get you off the buddy list in a hurry----I like to talk about many things, REAL things outside the life--and I look for that--I am not tolerant of someone who talks to hear himself talk, always has a better story or is too busy thinking of his reply to listen toMe--My failing is I am on the phone 12 hours a day for My job, with people all over the world, at the end of the day, My yearn to chatter is gone, so I prefer to listen--but to things of interest, I do expect honesty, however like obediant said, I make the decision--and I expect the same in return.  Net is I don't like a chatterbox, I love humor---respectful and not vulgar, and I like sharing interests. I also at times prefer to hear the birds sing.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? - 3/1/2008 6:28:33 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I happen to see it as two different things.  The length of a profile doesn't necessarily equate to how much a person will talk about themselves.  I see a profile more as an introduction, rather than whether they talk a lot or don't.  Personally, I don't have a lot in My profile.  Never have.  That stems directly from the fact that I'm not big on droning on and on without a particular topic at hand.  Anyone who has interest in getting to know Me can do a much better job of it from reading what I say on the forums.  For a while there, I even had a list of links to certain forum posts if someone was interested in what I think and feel.  Worked rather well, actually.  I made a lot of good connections that way.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Men who talk more than women-turn on or off?? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094