Don't understand

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littleone35 -> Don't understand (9/21/2005 5:53:48 PM)
I was just reading a profile no names that a guy said "just because you are a whore at heart does not mean you are not a nice person" Now maybe i am just senestive because he did not write that to me it was just in his profile. Why do some men think because a girl is a sub or a slave she is a whore? Does this bother anyone else or is it i am just to senestive? I know for a fact i am not one. littleone

RainGod -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 6:30:41 PM)
With Me, 'slut', 'whore', and 'bitch' are names during play that are pet names, if you will, and not intended as insults. I would never tell her to "pass them biscuits, bitch" at Thanksgiving dinner... Now just because I like this doesn't mean everyone does, so I would definately make sure she knew when I spoke these names they weren't meant as insults, but rather twisted terms of endearment. If she didn't agree, we would just have to find some more agreeable pet names.

sub4hire -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 6:43:48 PM)
Some people get off by calling other's names. If it isn't for you ignore it. It is for some.

nella -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 6:43:59 PM)
Some pepole can not get thier heads out of the porn magasines where submissive girls are always wanton whores, willing to submit to any Dominant whit or whitout a penis, doing anything for a lay. That this is reality is a brake from the nice fantasy many do not want to make. That being said, as long as he did not insult you directly, let the man have his fantasy, i have mine he has his.

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 7:01:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RainGod With Me, 'slut', 'whore', and 'bitch' are names during play that are pet names, if you will, and not intended as insults. I would never tell her to "pass them biscuits, bitch" at Thanksgiving dinner... Sounds like a family dinner, when I used to do holidays. [sm=lol.gif] Seriously though, I think there are a lot of terms that can be used as pet names, in an endearing way, or to be abusive, or demeaning. I don't like the word "whore" or even the word "subbie," which I see and hear used a lot. Someone woman is gonna enjoy that profile, but I'm gonna guess...more will not. K

JohnWarren -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 7:39:18 PM)
While it's not something I'd put in a profile, "talking dirty" is a favorite of a lot of people, not just in the scene. Carol Queen, a really neat lady, has written a book "Exhibitionism for the Shy" with a large section about dirty words and sex talk. One thing you should keep in mind is that the definitions we assign words in the scene are often quite different than those assigned in the vanilla world.

MasterChainsSub -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 8:53:35 PM)
My Master calls me a whore all the time and I love it. It is only one of the many terms of endearment that he uses with me when we are playing. I know that he means it with nothing but love and that is all I need. He made it a point to tell me that if I didn't like it, he wouldn't do it. But as a matter of fact, it turns me on to no end. Afterall, I am his whore, his slut, his bitch...I am everything to him. As stated earlier, he would never use this at the dinner table, etc. These are strictly terms that we find enjoyable for ourselves. Of course, everyone has their preferences and that is the beauty of the way we live. I know that the quoted Dom does not mean it to be demeaning. But even if he did, I find it pointless to get offended by words.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 8:55:47 PM)
His statement didn't say that he thinks every sub is a whore. However you're right in that many do think that- and I think it's because they simply view females as sexual beings, period. They don't really "get" women except as sexual, which is why you still have the wretched "madonna/whore" dichotomy all the time. So many people can't get the idea of both or MORE than just sexual/asexual. I'm a slut and a whore, and a great person ALL at the same time and ALL very obviously. Woe to the person who tries to see me from only one angle.

oceanprincess -> RE: Don't understand (9/21/2005 10:17:59 PM)
No, you are not a whore just because you are a sub, he's just a jackaxx. ocean

obis -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 12:04:23 AM)
quote: I was just reading a profile no names that a guy said "just because you are a whore at heart does not mean you are not a nice person" Now maybe i am just senestive because he did not write that to me it was just in his profile. Why do some men think because a girl is a sub or a slave she is a whore? As others have said, it's not intended as an insult (most likely). In my experience with BDSM, people tend not to use the word "whore" or "slut" in the same way people outside use it -- we don't really imply anything about promiscuity or lack of discretion in partners. In my own case, when I call my girl a whore or a slut, I mean it only in the sense that she enjoys her sexuality fully and isn't ashamed by that, that she is happy to play with me any time and feels free to instigate play if she wants. By the traditional American Puritan values, that would be "whorish" (after all, everyone knows good girls don't enjoy sex, it's just something they have to "put up with" until he gets it out of his system!)

plantlady64 -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 6:52:51 AM)
Hello There, Websters New World Dictionary's definition of a whore is a prostitute. I don't know any subs who get paid to play except in sites like hogtied.com. If it makes a Dom feel better to try and demoralize subs Oh Well, it doesn't bother me one bit. There's the saying "Sticks and Stones can break my bones but words can only hurt me." I say words can only affect how you feel if you grant the permission to let them affect you. Sincerely, sub suzanne

littleone35 -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 6:55:30 AM)
(after all, everyone knows good girls don't enjoy sex, it's just something they have to "put up with" until he gets it out of his system!) I Know you meant this tounge in cheek. I just find it amusing. I used to be a good girl and i alwyas enjoyed sex. littleone

perfection20005 -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 7:30:30 AM)
Master calls me "whore, slut, bitch", but only during a scene or in private. Even then, its not meant as an insult, just another name he uses to get me ready for play.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 8:12:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 Hello There, Websters New World Dictionary's definition of a whore is a prostitute. I don't know any subs who get paid to play except in sites like hogtied.com. Suzanne, since we run in the same circles, I can tell you that you DO know at least a few who pro, either as subs or just as women. They might just not be out in the scene about it (it's not very accepted) :)

Nuke718 -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 12:12:02 PM)
I have 2 bits to relate on the topic. First is that when I Dom, I have found that women into dirty talk are more likely to be OK with being called a whore or a slut in a scene than a bitch. When learning and negotiating I tend to bring up name calling when we get to the dirty talk area. Better forwarned than unexpected anger or tears from a word. Now as a bottom, I have only partnered with one woman who liked to call me names. It's a little humiliating, which works for me. Instead of the derogatory terms for men that are available she liked to call me her bitch. N}:-

HentaiGamerKitty -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 12:20:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 If it makes a Dom feel better to try and demoralize subs Oh Well, it doesn't bother me one bit. I don't find that being called names demoralizes me a bit. I know that HE knows I'm really a good girl :) He also knows that it turns me on to no end to be called dirty names (whore, slut, bitch, cunt, etc). I think that the majority of subs are ok with names like that. He would never call me that in front of vanilla folks, so I'm fine with it. After all, I AM a slut/whore/etc for HIM.

plantlady64 -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 12:43:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HentaiGamerKitty quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 If it makes a Dom feel better to try and demoralize subs Oh Well, it doesn't bother me one bit. I don't find that being called names demoralizes me a bit. I know that HE knows I'm really a good girl :) He also knows that it turns me on to no end to be called dirty names (whore, slut, bitch, cunt, etc). I think that the majority of subs are ok with names like that. He would never call me that in front of vanilla folks, so I'm fine with it. After all, I AM a slut/whore/etc for HIM. Hi Again, Maybe I didn't make my thought clear. My Master calls me his slut, cunt, bitch and whore too and coming from his mouth it's wonderfully cool and exciting for me. When I play with other Doms I again don't care what name or label they want to use. I personally think I'm one of the biggest play sluts I know and am very comfortable being a slut and damn proud of it. I'd mentioned the demoralization factor as some Doms seem to think calling us these names adds a humiliational factor for the sub. I personally would take more offense at being called vanilla than called any other cuss word in the book. Sincerely, sub suzanne

nelbot -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 12:52:39 PM)
I don't care to be called slut, whore or bitch myself as I don't feel they are accurate but sometimes it pleases my master to call me those things or to make me call myself a slut- I think it comes to the lady on the street, whore in the sheets idea and the juxtaposition that turns him on

fastlane -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 1:03:03 PM)
Well, if you ask me, the profile was a generalization and not specific to you, so you should not have felt offended. Also, by all the responses you can very well see that to some, it is a term of endearment if uttered by the right mouth. I liken it to the "N" word. It is all right for when it is thrown out by those in the same race, but if it's thrown out by someone not of color it becomes offensive. If I call my pet "slut or whore, she knows it is endearing in how I use it, if someone else calls her that, it is not going to just piss her off, but me too!

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Don't understand (9/22/2005 3:47:52 PM)
I'm very interested in slut training, but I realize that not everyone is. I think it was a gross generalization on the guy's part (is he a dom or sub?) and a touch too sensitive on yours. I enjoy being called a slut and whore in scene. However, I wouldn't recommend calling me any of the above out of context. Don't let his statement hurt your feelings. If you're not a whore, and don't like being called one while in scene, it wasn't meant for you.

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