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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 7:17:25 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I've had women that I liked inituailly, but then I spent time around them-and found thier behavior totally annoying. And didn't want to  have more of the same-so I broke it off.

We all have second thoughts about things that seemed a good idea at the time. Just move on.....no use beating a dead horse.

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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 10:01:47 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Seriously. I think you're overreacting here a bit. Next time, don't invest yourself in someone who you haven't meant in person because physical chemistry isn't the same as cyber chemistry. All this after a simple dinner with someone? Okay, so he didn't have the guts to tell you to your face. That's his issue, not yours.  If you fall apart this easily over someone whom you've only known for a day, you have much bigger issues with which to deal.

Celeste

What she said...Seriously.......


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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 11:23:31 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Gah.  Rejection does hurt.  It's okay to be hurt, just don't lose perspective.  It's just one person in a world with billions.

Why do you speak to people on the internet for so long before meeting them in person?  Two months is a long time to wait.  The majority of people I've met on the internet I've talked to for a couple days before meeting them.  If chemistry isn't there, then you know without putting months into it.

< Message edited by junecleaver -- 3/2/2008 11:33:36 AM >

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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 11:49:16 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Be thankful he told you right away before you invested any more of yourself into him.

Cali


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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 12:51:32 PM   
KatsClaws12


Posts: 62
Joined: 4/24/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with Cali. I have had much more time invested in someone and it was all for nothing. Believe me it hurt alot more then if it had only been a few months. Dont give up it will all come when the time is right.
Good luck!
Kitten

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 1:23:06 PM   
honeygirl


Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		As others have written, you over-invested way too soon.  He seems like a pretty stand-up man -- he let you know the very next day and didn't leave you hanging wondering what happened. 

Why did he choose email versus telling you when you wer eface to face?  Maybe he didn't realize it until later or maybe he wanted to avoid drama. 

I would suggest that, if -- after one single date -- you use phrases involving picking yourself up after a guy says that he is no longer interested that you, that you work on chilling out and not getting caught up building a future with people you don't really know.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 2:09:16 PM   
organicgirl


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Nobody likes rejection. And if you're not a sociopath, you aren't going to enjoy rejecting someone else. Is it cowardly to say only afterwards that it isn't going to work? Possibly, but it's also human. He didn't want to hurt you to your face.

And sometimes people do it this way because when they've said no thanks to someone's face; they get a lot of bad reactions. Such as loud scenes in the restaurant, such as begging and pleading, such as abuse comments and behavior.


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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 2:50:02 PM   
homework


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/11/2006
Status: offline 		Well jeeze everyone has added extra perspective. I just have to say this one last thing- to sit at dinner with someone and to talk about regular stuff, to have some hair touching and neck rubbing, and then to have him look you straight in the face and say yes i will talk to you later. It was all a shock. Like I said previously. But there has benn no falling apart- just a day of going god this sucks and moving on. I do have to admit I have always had my heart out in front of my brain my whole life. I am just too damn nice (really want to mean, never going to happen) and jump in with both feet before i really look. I am working on that- have been my whole life. And believe me it has gotten way better. Thanks again to everyone. I knew I joined this group for a reason.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 2:56:22 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: homework

to sit at dinner with someone and to talk about regular stuff, to have some hair touching and neck rubbing, and then to have him look you straight in the face and say yes i will talk to you later. It was all a shock.




God i know that feeling, goes hand in hand with "ill call ya" think we have all been there, sucks ass feel like crap eat some ice cream try again. :D


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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 4:04:37 PM   
TheEvilBstardsMo


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		It sounds like you had your hopes way up that this was going to work out.  We all do that!  I guess that I don't find anything wrong with his telling you either.  Regardless of the reason, he just decided that the situation was not working for him.  Once you heard that decision, your hopes came crashing.  It is not easy to find a good blend for a myriad of reasons.  Take a deep breath - it is not personal and keep looking.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 4:50:42 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I think its hard to say to someones face, "sorry you just dont do it for me". I myself have gone on dates and was polite to them and then e-mailed them later that there wasnt a click.

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RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 5:05:07 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I think its hard to say to someones face, "sorry you just dont do it for me". I myself have gone on dates and was polite to them and then e-mailed them later that there wasnt a click.


I agree. Its better than looking them right in the eye and saying "Ew..." (and yes...i actually did that once.)

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/2/2008 11:40:36 PM   
trusting


Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline 		i would think that the fact you are already collared might have played a role in this situation...

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/3/2008 7:58:01 PM   
homework


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/11/2006
Status: offline 		My question is- If all parties are willing to share can't you have two collars? Anymore and that is too drama- but can't there be two collars if both are willing to work together? I mean yeah alot to ask for- but anything is possible in the lifestyle isn't it?

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How do things go so wrong so quickly? - 3/5/2008 12:43:19 PM   
Morniel


Posts: 60
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Here's a different spin.  Had the roles been reversed, I would have thanked the man for a pleasant evening, and then told him, You're a wonderful person, but we're not compatible.

Had there then been a "scene" or "drama", I would have calmly and quietly left.  Any rude or socially unacceptable behaviour is then the other person's choice and responsibility.

I wouldn't say anything online that I wouldn't say in person, because that's just the way I am.  I also believe that it is better to be honest, and tactful, right away.

As to the rest, I'd agree with many of the opinions voiced.  Collared already or not, and looking for an additional dynamic or not, there is no reason to be devestated over either a bad first date, or a follow up communication that says "Thanks but no thanks".  Perhaps you'd be wise to re-examine your outlook, and gain some perspective.  While life is too short to waste time, it's also too short to throw yourself completely into a "relationship" with someone whom, to all intents and purposes, you just met.

Good luck with your next try, and remember, someday you WILL laugh about this.

(in reply to homework)
Profile   Post #: 35
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