RE: Loving my Master (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: Loving my Master (3/3/2008 3:39:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: meticulousgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Me? I fell in love before I submitted to him. But I needed that love relationship between us in order to submit.


That's where alot of problems originate from, and it's not necessarily a bad thing, it's more of the fact that the needs, wants and solutions differ so much from person to person and situation to situation.  What might be ok with me may not be for the OP but, like many of us said, she has to be the one to make the decision...not Us....

~meticulous~


But that's a compatibility issue. And one that's a lot easier to work out in the negotiation stage, not six months or six years later. Which is why I recommend people should figure out before they start looking; figure out what they must have and what they cannot possibly put up with.



joy2u -> RE: Loving my Master (3/3/2008 4:40:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvm

i am in a Master/sub relationship for over one year.i love my Master and He says He has allowed me to love Him but He cannot love me back?i want Him for both a vanilla relationship and D/s relationship.

You can't make someone love you.  It doesn't matter how submissive you are to him, even if you do everything he wants, plus some. 
 
quote:

He says that is not possible.

 If he tells you that it's not possible for him to love you.  You should believe him. 
 
quote:

i do not understand why as i love Him so.

Maybe you don't understand because you don't want to understand.  You aren't hearing what he's telling you, because he's not telling you what you want to hear. 
 
You can't make someone love you, no matter how much you love him.

quote:

Will it be unhealthy to continue with me feeling as i do...so in love..and unreciprocated..even though he says he cares about me alot.

It could be unhealthy to continue a relationship with him, if you continue to refuse to accept what he's telling you and, you continue to think that he could love you, even though he tells you that he can't. 
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David



antipode -> RE: Loving my Master (3/3/2008 4:59:39 PM)

Unhealthy? No. Useless? Yes. Why would you want to put yourself through the agony of loving someone who doesn't love you? It is not something that will change, and it is perhaps a bit too vanilla, as well.



greenearth21 -> RE: Loving my Master (3/3/2008 8:39:54 PM)

Some people are okay with such a situation and in that case you will have no issues.  But he has called the spade by its name its up to you to accept it or not.  Some doms find it difficult to have a 'romantic' relationship yet still be able to maintain a d/s dynamic.  Go figure....but its all good...doesnt mean they are wrong in their way of thinking.  Figure out if you can be with him yet know and accept that he does not and may never return the same feelings.  If you can deal then yippeeee.  If you are looking for love , all the butteflies and I love you's accompanie with whips and chains etc....he ain't your guy.



masterfixer -> RE: Loving my Master (3/4/2008 8:39:16 PM)

why make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option



SailingBum -> RE: Loving my Master (3/4/2008 8:47:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvm

i am not sure the message here...


And the message is your his fuck buddy, furthermore talking to him about furthering the relationship won't change the fact that your his fuck friend...  Get the picture.

BadOne



Kirata -> RE: Loving my Master (3/4/2008 11:05:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvm

i am in a Master/sub relationship for over one year.i love my Master and He says He has allowed me to love Him but He cannot love me back?i want Him for both a vanilla relationship and D/s relationship.He says that is not possible.i do not understand why as i love Him so.Will it be unhealthy to continue with me feeling as i do... so in love.. and unreciprocated.. even though he says he cares about me alot.


Let's see. You've been with this man, happily, for more than a year now. He cares about you, and you love him like the dickens. But you don't know if it's healthy to go on, because he's not somebody else?

K.
 
 
 



Justme696 -> RE: Loving my Master (3/5/2008 2:46:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

Unhealthy? No. Useless? Yes. Why would you want to put yourself through the agony of loving someone who doesn't love you? It is not something that will change, and it is perhaps a bit too vanilla, as well.


We don't change in the vanilla world as persons...when we are not having a BDSM day

quote:

i am in a Master/sub relationship for over one year.i love my Master and He says He has allowed me to love Him but He cannot love me back?i want Him for both a vanilla relationship and D/s relationship.He says that is not possible.i do not understand why as i love Him so.Will it be unhealthy to continue with me feeling as i do...so in love..and unreciprocated..even though he says he cares about me alot.

It doesn't sound healthy for you..but at least He is honest about it. Which gives you the choice.



sensiia -> RE: Loving my Master (3/5/2008 7:54:06 AM)

Only you know if it is healthy for you or not, are you happy, are you remaining producitve in your life, are you continuing to care for yourself? I know of people who prefer this type of relationship it keeps them safe from commitment, dating someone who is emotionally void.

I could not be in a relationship with someone if they could not love me back. I would continue hoping for it only to let myself down.

May you make a healthy decision for yourself

S



Dnomyar -> RE: Loving my Master (3/5/2008 9:52:26 AM)

Im going to have to disagree with celeste. I don't think that it is a good ideal to look for someone while you are in a relationship now. Leave then do it.



DesFIP -> RE: Loving my Master (3/5/2008 11:19:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Im going to have to disagree with celeste. I don't think that it is a good ideal to look for someone while you are in a relationship now. Leave then do it.


Actually, I didn't suggest that as the best option. Just as one of a myriad of choices. Personally I think it's better to leave and lick your wounds first, if you can. However, women who have extremely low self esteem frequently cannot do this, they need their self esteem raised through external validation in order to get the strength to move on. Which is why I said it is one of the options.



sweetwenchie -> RE: Loving my Master (3/5/2008 11:24:10 AM)

Every dynamic is different, not all Masters choose to love their property as they feel it can be a detriment to the power dynamic, other Master's feel it increases it.    Sounds like you have found a Master that falls more into the first category.  Only you can decide if that will ultimately be unhealty for you.   Not all slaves or submissives want love, others cannot imagine being owned without being loved.   There is no right or wrong in this, only what is right (or wrong)  for you personally.

Good luck luvm.



Daddyslilpookie -> RE: Loving my Master (3/5/2008 11:30:06 AM)

I feel your pain because I was in your situation once. The reality is you can't make him love you, no matter how hard you try. Honestly from your post I think it sounds as if he is just useing you. I think it is time to cowgirl up and move on and get a real man who can love you and show you who's boss. Good luck to you.

                                                          



Lena7 -> RE: Loving my Master (3/7/2008 12:00:36 PM)

i have been where you are now.  the truth is you can't change how a person feels.  i tried everything in the book to make my Sir love me and it did not work.  he told me that he could not love me, but only have love for me.  in the end the best thing was to walk away and find one who would love me the way i needed it to be.



LordShadow -> RE: Loving my Master (3/7/2008 1:12:56 PM)

greetings girl,

I would agree with most, only you can decide whether or not you are happy and whether or not it is healthy for you.
I own a slave, and while I do have love for her as a slave, I am not in love with her in the relationship sense. I can't predict the future so to say whether or not I will is not something I will speculate.

I do not know the exact dynamic of your relationship, but slavery is not so much about "love" as it is satisfying a need or a sense of how things are intended. You need to sit down and decide what is most important to you, a Man who loves you or one who quenches a deeper more primal thirst.

With Respects to your Owner.



xsassykatx -> RE: Loving my Master (3/7/2008 7:45:26 PM)

girl ignored her primal thirst and focused on the love.  Losing her focus nearly cost her herself.  Now, her primal thirst is back with even a deeper thirst than before.  Love is over rated.  Finding a man, the right man to quench ones thirst and drowning in that is worth more and is more fulfilling than love could ever offer.

be well,
kat



Leatherist -> RE: Loving my Master (3/7/2008 7:50:39 PM)

Not everyone can reciprocate in the way we would best like.

Find another if you can't take what he can offer-people rarely change at thier cores. Something is either there,or it is not.
 
 Wishing, hounding, and nagging will not create something out of nothing.



luvm -> RE: Loving my Master (3/8/2008 8:31:20 PM)

no need to make fun i have real feelings...



SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: Loving my Master (3/8/2008 9:24:25 PM)

I would suggest that you think about what you want, need, and deserve and then compare that list of the things that you want, need and deserve against what this man gives you.

It is very freeing to be able to love someone, but understand that even though you love them that you love yourself even more. Once I got to the place where I love me best of all, it made me free to get the love from someone else that I very much deserve. I can love someone and still not settle for less than I deserve to have.

Now, for me, being in your situation would just end up pissing me off at that person, and what had at first been "love" would end up with me mentally finding every little flaw and imperfection that the man had so i wouldn't feel so bad that they thought me unworthy of their love. I tend to have the attitude, "if not you, then someone better". Sounds cold, but it is just the truth of it all.

~Sinergy's strumpet~



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Loving my Master (3/8/2008 11:23:22 PM)

No one is obligated to feel toward you the way you want them to feel. Just because you feel a certain way toward them does not dictate that they feel the same toward you.

You have two options: you can stay because you love him or you can leave because he doesn't love you.

Master Fire



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