MistressRana
Posts: 8
Joined: 2/15/2004
Status: offline
|
My introduction and views on the lifestyle, online play, role-players, and the lack of quality slaves ...
My location: I live in the Southern Nevada area, specifically Pahrump (which is 60 miles from Las Vegas).
My history: I was trained as an Old World Mistress in 1973 in Nevada. I was barely 19 years old (and brought into the lifestyle by a NLV police officer friend). I was trained under strict values, true honor and respects, and the protocols that were similar to what I have read on Old Guard, and also some of the D/s values that Gorean philosophy follows. For 18 months, several times a week, I trained in the psychology of the lifestyle and some of the basic discipline methods and tools. The community was very small, close-knit, and adherence to the values and loyalty was demanded. There were no fakes, pretenders or predators - or at least I never met any of them. Even then, BDSM meant more than sadism or masochism, it was D/s in its strictest and dearest form, unspoiled and unmodified, with the best in servitudes and loyalty for the dominant. I left the lifestyle a few years later, when I married, and did not return to its practices until 10 years later. The return was a real eye opener! BDSM was no longer a hidden or strict society. Things have changed so much that I am almost soured on the newer versions and the many fakes we have to weed through to find a good submissive or slave.
Currently: I own and operate two So. Nevada alternative lifestyle groups, called Bound for Pleasure and Pahrump Alt, one of which attained active membership of over 500 last year, and the Pahrump Alt group is jsut starting with 25 members, based outside of Las Vegas. We began the Bound for Pleasure (B4P) group five years ago when we found only one option for lifestyle play in Las Vegas. After five years of successful operation, we are pleased to see as many as seven other groups springing up with a variety of options for Las Vegas and Southern Nevada lifestylers. When we started we offered So. Nevada monthly parties, but now that Vegas lifestylers have so many options, we have geared our focus on our pet project: starting a new, more defined, exclusive group (Silver Circle) based strictly on Old World philosophies and protocols. We still hold parties for B4P a few times a year, but most of our energies and time are devoted to re-establishing the Old World values in our area.
My views about onliners: I've had friends who were members of certain chat rooms for years upon years. They would claim they had a dedicated, sincere relationship with someone in that chat room. They would tell me how they knew this girl's or guy's family life and shared problems together, etc., etc. Then several years down the road, they would tell me how this chat room "friend" had broken their heart by spreading gossip about them in the chat room; or offered to visit and the person didn't want them to come; or that they went to meet or visit the person and when they arrived that person was not at all as they portrayed; or that they got to know someone else on line who had previous friendships with this person and they were all being told different lies. It's so sad. You cannot know someone just from online conversations or phone conversations. I believe that all the online anonymity has spoiled the best parts of the lifestyle ... specifically the honor, loyalty and respects. It also presents a scary opportunity for anyone to read just a little and pretend they have more lifestyle knowledge and experience than they do. Those who learn online then try to apply it to a real situation without any other training, are just plain dangerous. Until you meet them face-to-face, and spend time that way -- I do not believe it is an honest and true relationship. Bottom line: I don't care how sincere they say they are, or that they serve an online Master, or had an online slave for years, or whatever story they have ... If they only do it online, through a computer -- it is role-play. They are only "role-players!" That's the name for it, that's what it is called, and until they make the transition to real life servitude under a real Mistress or Master, that's all it is. The so-called sincerity level does not matter or even exist except in real life interaction. Just my humble opinion.
My concerns: I worry the most about submissive females with a sincere interest in the lifestyle. Any "wannabe" Master can read a little, say the right words, and use his new found knowledge to entice some innocent gal with sincere lifestyle interests into a bad relationship for just kinky controlling sex. We have heard both horror and success stories from females within our group who dropped everything and moved across country to live with their "online master." The horror stories greatly outnumber the successes. Several sincere females, who I believe would have made wonderful slaves, were ruined by "newbie-Masters" just wanting to try out the lifestyle for a while and see what it was about (but unwilling to actual learn the right things about it), and "wannabes" who just wanted to try the a**hole/ego trip, and "pretenders" who were obnoxious males with a sexual kink who just wanted to use the lifestyle as an opportunity to get sex from women. These types really sadden me. Good slaves are far and few, especially female slaves. And a good percent of those who are new and sincerely wanting to try the lifestyle, find these wannabe types first - and never return to the lifestyle to try it with a real Mistress or Master.
Respects: The respect issue has become a big deal here. The long-time Mistresses and Masters always received respect (and for the right reasons, because their skills and values drew it). But as many new so-called and self-proclaimed Mistresses, Ladies, and Masters came on the scene from their online playgrounds, the newbies drove the respect issue right into the ground by demanding it without proving themselves to be worthy of it. We had one ProDom (prostitute) come on our board and demand that everyone pay her the utmost respect because she had been in BDSM porn magazines since the "beginning of time." Her writings were so illiterate that they were almost unreadable and when she blew a gasket over something she didn't understand or misunderstood, she would harass the person by email, phone and anyway she could. And she wanted respect. Most of us had the same reaction ... "ho, hum, another ego player with delusions of grandeur." It was only a short time and she was run off the board by the real lifestylers. I believe that respect should not be expected. If you show true values and skills, and hold firm to your own beliefs without being judgmental of others, respect is given freely without ever being asked for or demanded.
True slaves and submissives: A discussion was posted on a message board I frequent, it asked, "Is the lifestyle dying out?" I would have to say, "Yes!" The true lifestyle is dying out, and I blame the Internet and all the anonymity, instant information and gratification it provides. I have met quite a few so-called slaves from Gorean groups, D/s groups and the BDSM groups. In all groups, sincere female slaves are a rare find and few in number. Such finds were not so rare in the Old Days, all finds were few but male and female applicants to the lifestyle were only slightly uneven in numbers (submissive males, of course, always being more prominent). Mistresses and Masters were about even numbered. But nowadays, I find true Masters to be dwindling and I believe it is due to the lack of desire for lifestyle education and training, plus the rare availability of quality female submissives. After all, how can you be a Master if you have no one and nothing to Master? I also find a startling increase in the number of so-called Mistresses, mostly whores who want to prostitute lifestyle sessions to the many men looking for sexual kink. The lifestyle may be sexual, and may include sexual play and toys, but it is NOT meant to be swingers or sexual kinksters looking for one night stands, an occasional session, or paid play with a dominatrix. It is meant to be a long-term relationship between one or more slaves and one Mistress or Master. I believe the biggest problem the lifestyle faces today is the lack of quality slaves for my chosen lifestyle. With the abundant information and access on the Internet, we find mostly imposters, players and fakes, rather than serious, sincere, quality submissives with a true interest in servitudes.
Sex: Is sex absolutely essential to servitude? No. Obedience is! In BDSM, the Mistress or Master is obeyed without hesitation or question. One of my slaves refers to it as "totally blind f**king obedience." Complete obedience and trust is expected. This becomes the glue in the relationship, the part that bonds a Mistress or Master to the slave and the slave to them. If sex is ordered, then, yes, it is part of the servitude, and some Mistresses train specific male or female slaves to serve them sexually. Can there be a bond without sex? Yes. I have had several slaves who served without the sexual relationship. I occasionally played sexually with them during sessions or as a fun tease, but it was not a necessary part of the relationship, nor was it demanded or ordered. In fact, one of them had a vanilla girlfriend, and another had a lifestyle boyfriend who served another Mistress.
Old World values: My values, training and practices include strict dedication, love, loyalty, honor, trust and respect from the slave to the Dominant they serve. We do not handle, speak to, or in any way approach a collared submissive. We would approach only the dominant, and then seek permission for conversation or other actions with the submissive. Submissives were sometimes sent by their dominant to make a request of another dominant. The sub would kneel quietly near the dominant until recognized and acknowledged, then politely submit the request from their own dominant, then return to their dominant with the answer. Submissives were permitted to converse freely with other submissives, provided they did not disrupt the submissive's attentiveness to his or her dominant. A strict set of protocols was followed by all submissives that included specific stances, serving positions and verbal responses. Respects were strictly enforced and included paying homage to certain respected dominants. No one entered the lifestyle as a Mistress or Master without a letter of recognition from their previous group. Sometimes, a phone call was needed as well. If a letter could be not be produced, the dominant faced a council inquiry, and they better have the appropriate answers, actions and training to confirm their background. Already trained or experienced slaves were extremely rare. Once a slave was trained and collared by a dominant, they usually stayed with that dominant indefinitely. Only once in while, would a slave be given to another Mistress or Master, and then it was considered a gift of the greatest honor. Slaves did not choose to whom they would be collared. They had no choice at all in the matter. Uncollared slaves served the group as a whole, and were available to any dominant who sought them for the moment, or longer. Being an uncollared slave was devastating. It meant no dominant found you worthy or of use. There was a great competition among uncollared slaves to serve and hopefully be taken for a collar. They could solicit the attentions of a dominant by giving a dominant more attentiveness with servitudes or small gifts, but the choice was totally left to the dominant, any dominant. If an uncollared slave could not garner the attention of the dominant of their liking, they accepted whatever collar was offered. Being worthy enough for a dominant to recognize you and select you, was an honor. Being collared changed your status as a slave. You then became valued property. The worst breach of protocol was for a dominant to solicit a collared slave in any way. If you had an interest in a collared slave, you approached the dominant to purchase or trade for the slave, if they were willing to consider it. This usually caused hard feelings, so it rarely if ever happened. What was yours, was yours, and no one asked for it unless the circumstances were extreme. No one spoke of the group to outsiders, and no one dared breach the protocols. To do so, meant appearing before a disciplinary council (the Grand Masters) and often times, instant dismissal from the group and everyone you knew and associated with in the group. If you had business dealings, a slave or partner, or financial interest connected to the group, you lost it all and walked away forever.
Who I am: Some people refer to my Mistress role as a sexual preference. Some call it a lifestyle. I'm not sure where it falls in the descriptions. I choose to refer to myself as a Lifestyle Mistress. I know that I prefer to surround myself with submissive men and women who enjoy serving another, and enjoy a poly-type household that works on a communal level with everyone sharing all the work and good fortunes of the household. I am extremely dominant. I make all the decisions of my household, and all decisions concerning the care, portrayal, training, and exhibition of my slaves and their talents. I love my slaves. My role in the household is to take the slave and his or her devotion to me, and use it to mold them into a better and more unique offering to society and the lifestyle in general. I prefer submissives who enjoy a little voyeur and exhibitionist play. In other words, I enjoy displaying my property. I like showing off my slaves, their protocols and talents to others. Nothing pleases me more than see someone sit up and take notice of how my slaves serve me and other dominants. I enjoy rewarding my slaves, and I enjoy disciplining them. The BDSM portion of my lifestyle is shared only with slaves who like it, and it's pleasure for both of us. The basis of my relationships is strict, loving D/s with a side of BDSM. I miss the Old World values, and I miss the society that surrounded it. It has died. It is gone. My only hope now is to find a selection of slaves who seek Old World values, and to draw them into our group called the Silver Circle. We will form our own society based on the values that worked in the past. My experience with slaves includes: Over all I have had about 13 slaves throughout the years and trained another six to eight whom I have sent to other Mistresses or Masters. One slave stayed with me for over 10 years, and most stay for four or more years, with the least being 18 months. The longevity of the time the slaves stay with me, I believe, speaks for my experience and my care of the slaves. I have a poly-communal household in which there is always more than one slave. We find that sharing the burdens and duties of a household among several makes it easier for all. I always have an opening for one or two more slaves, and usually post my ads in the file section, and not on the message boards.
The above content is just my history with the lifestyle, reminiscing about the Old Days, and personal views on some lifestyle and online aspects -- just my own personal opinions. They are not intended to offend, nor are they meant to reflect anything negative about anyone specific. I would love to hear your views on your lifestyle choice - the ups and downs - and what you seek, or have found within it. If you have private comments to forward to me, my email is [email protected] and the So. Nevada group address is: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/B4P-TwistedVanilla . Also, if you plan to visit the Las Vegas area, I can send you a list of real life Las Vegas groups, upon request to the email address listed above.
Mistress Rana
Pahrump/Las Vegas, Nevada
[email protected]
|
Intro-Mistress Rana (Las Vegas) - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread