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A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 10:45:05 AM   
Owner59


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A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative*
by Anonymous
 
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it, too.
He prepares his morning breakfast: bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment checks because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded roads.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.
The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved conservatives have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."
 
http://www.hcdems.com/misc/joe_conservative.html
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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 10:56:12 AM   
wkdshadow


Posts: 129
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quote:

It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Nowhere that I've lived - save Chicago - actually has a decent public transportation system.

(in reply to Owner59)
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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 10:57:47 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
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Roaringly funny  . 

Signed: a wine-drinking cheese-eating fancy pants commie-loving pinko liberal.

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:02:57 AM   
Arpig


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Somewhat telling eh?

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:13:54 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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A Day in the Life of Joe Liberal*
by Anonymous
 
Joe gets up at 11 a.m. logs on to the internet, reads only information sources where his head bobs up and down while reading. Posts to various internet sites about how bad it is to live in US, citing proof with comparisons to the Roman Empire, Nazi Germany, or the Carter years.
 
Convinced he is as incapable for self determination as his sources of information say he is, Joe spends the rest of the day awaiting the next entitlement to come in the mail and 'nanny' to dictate the next 'good intention' program. Content in his belief that the government, union leaders, civil rights leaders, or his favorite political party; knows better than he does about what is best for him because he's hasn't permitted a thought contrary to his affiliation groups to pass through his brain.
 
Exhausted from his daily effort, Joe retires hoping to dream of a day when ALL his needs are taken care of by his benevolent nanny government. When all the world is joined in peace under a global nanny. Where energy is created out of the air leaving the very air purer and cleaner than before its creation. A world where there are no locks on doors, in fact no doors! When you can just think about chocolate ice cream and a sundae appears in your hands, complete with sprinkles and whipped cream! A world where every day is a vacation and to travel all you need to is hop on a moving sidewalk to be whisked to a destination where there are no lines to get on the ride of your choice.
 
Joe - dreaming that 'if only' dream of liberals. If only George Bush wasn't elected in 2000 - we'd be living in that world today!

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:25:52 AM   
kittinSol


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Nice effort, but not as funny.

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:29:48 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol
Nice effort, but not as funny.

Agreed!
However, it was more observation than effort.

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:33:33 AM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

A Day in the Life of Joe Liberal*
by Anonymous
 
Joe gets up at 11 a.m. logs on to the internet, reads only information sources where his head bobs up and down while reading. Posts to various internet sites about how bad it is to live in US, citing proof with comparisons to the Roman Empire, Nazi Germany, or the Carter years.
 
Convinced he is as incapable for self determination as his sources of information say he is, Joe spends the rest of the day awaiting the next entitlement to come in the mail and 'nanny' to dictate the next 'good intention' program. Content in his belief that the government, union leaders, civil rights leaders, or his favorite political party; knows better than he does about what is best for him because he's hasn't permitted a thought contrary to his affiliation groups to pass through his brain.
 
Exhausted from his daily effort, Joe retires hoping to dream of a day when ALL his needs are taken care of by his benevolent nanny government. When all the world is joined in peace under a global nanny. Where energy is created out of the air leaving the very air purer and cleaner than before its creation. A world where there are no locks on doors, in fact no doors! When you can just think about chocolate ice cream and a sundae appears in your hands, complete with sprinkles and whipped cream! A world where every day is a vacation and to travel all you need to is hop on a moving sidewalk to be whisked to a destination where there are no lines to get on the ride of your choice.
 
Joe - dreaming that 'if only' dream of liberals. If only George Bush wasn't elected in 2000 - we'd be living in that world today!




I just love you two! 

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:37:15 AM   
servantforuse


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to Mercnbeth, Nice reply. It's really hard being a conservative on this site. Mike, the union member Republican

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:38:09 AM   
MichiganHeadmast


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Joined: 8/13/2006
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Cutting and pasting is fun!

Okay, here's one:

Are You A Democrate, Republican or Southerner?
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock 40cal, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends first
and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:
BANG!


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click!
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester SilverTips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"


(in reply to Owner59)
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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:55:14 AM   
Owner59


Posts: 17033
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Dirty Jersey
Status: offline
  I knew this would make a few of you sting a little.He-he

Merc,
Face it,the safety net and unions lift all boats and help insure that "independent" types like yourself the ability to prosper.

They have places where low/no taxes coupled with low/no services have brought the capitalist`s dreams to reality.

One such place is Calcutta.Another is Haiti.

Moving anytime soon?

(in reply to MichiganHeadmast)
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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 11:58:44 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MichiganHeadmast

Cutting and pasting is fun!

Okay, here's one:

Are You A Democrate, Republican or Southerner?


Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock 40cal, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends first
and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:
BANG!


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click!
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester SilverTips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"




I seldom laugh this hard!  Thank you! 


_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to MichiganHeadmast)
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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 1:09:40 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse
to Mercnbeth, Nice reply. It's really hard being a conservative on this site. Mike, the union member Republican


Mike,
Thanks! I don't think its "hard" being anything as long as you are secure and confident in your beliefs and can ignore, and avoid stooping to, the name calling and labeling required by the insecure among us. Facts are always shaded with perspective. Most of the time, CM threads are catalysts which initiate research to find supporting or contrary information. I see it as a challenge and not an attack or persecution in the face of debate. Hell, some of the best learning experiences and most enlightening bits of information came from researching facts to back up positions on both the conservative and liberal sides of the issue. 

But don't want to misrepresent.I am a 'Devout Pragmatist' in both religion and political affiliation.

I once started to research the history of 'Liberal' and found out that at one time in US history - I AM one! 'Liberal' used to have a more literal interpretation with the root word - liberty. Now, the liberal movement speaks more about inhibiting liberties, such as where you can and can not search for oil/gas, where you can/cannot build a electricity generating dam, what kind of education your child should get. The conservative side has their own issues with liberty, such as the liberty to marry who you want, what you can see/hear on TV, what a woman can do with her body.

I don't see any group or political party that represents a 'liberal' mentality. There are many who roll out the word and label themselves or others in it, if it serves their agenda attack an opposing view. It is now not enough to declare yourself liberal or to be against liberalism - you need to first hear the details and appreciate that as a modifier the word has too many 'acceptable definitions' to give you confidence in the use.

I've been enjoying my recent political discussions with friends, many staunch Democrats who seem to have this permanent scowl on their face regarding their party's November standard-bearer. I ask them to reconcile their party platform of entitlements with idealistic 'Camelot' represented by the call; "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." 

If a question was posed to the current batch of graduating HS seniors, the fruit of 48 years of government entitlements who I'm confident in the majority have no clue their origin, were asked which party's President spoke those words; how many would get that 50/50 chance answer correct? Of course, the quote would first have to be explained, and perhaps translated in 'politically correct' Spanish and/or Ebonics English; to make sure none of the student body gets left behind.

quote:

ORIGINAL:Owner59
Merc,
I knew this would make a few of you sting a little.He-he
Face it,the safety net and unions lift all boats and help insure that "independent" types like yourself the ability to prosper.

They have places where low/no taxes coupled with low/no services have brought the capitalist`s dreams to reality. One such place is Calcutta.Another is Haiti.


No "sting" my friend, amusing - as I hoped you found my reponse .

Unions are a "safety net"? How is that? What union hasn't conceded back many/most of their hard won benefits? My father's plant in NJ is now dust - replaced by a building full of tax wasting State worker drones.

Not "Calcutta" or "Haiti"; but by 2015 the Tuscany region of Italy is looking VERY good. I'll get there on my dime, on my skills, and ability; or I won't - as it should be. No waiting by the mailbox for SS money that I paid into but will never see. I support self determination. Many still come to the US, legally/illegally, seeing it as still being a place where self-determination can work. Who knows if they are only fooling themselves at this point. Of course you can also fail, but isn't that what life is all about? 

What is the goal of your brand of 'liberalism' if not described by my extemporaneous thoughts regarding 'A Day in the Life of Joe Liberal'? Opportunity and/or a chance to succeed, whether in Haiti, or Hawaii, is still a matter of personal commitment and hard work. Your destiny shouldn't be a result of waiting for the mail, or a government worker knocking on the door saying one of the most notorious and contradictory statements every verbalized; "I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

I'll stipulate to the benefits of Unions in pre 1960 US. Today, other than making union leaders and some 'Families' rich, are they effective? Not to say every industry and every company works for the best interest of its employees, however isn't it ironic that much of the union pensions are invested in the very businesses and industries that they claim are anti-worker? Read the proxy statement for your pension next time it shows up, and you'll see who you union supports. My guess is that list of companies, supported by your union, resembles my investment portfolio. In that regard we are on the same team rooting for the same outcome - bigger corporate profits. Amazing huh?

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 1:28:17 PM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
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A PC Liberals daydream or wet dream if you will.
If anybody reads this they must be a doo doo gooder of the worst kind lol

What a lovely morning, I must cast around to find someone who deserves an apology for something that I didnt do and they didnt experience. If I can use other peoples' money maybe I can suggest compensation as well. A voting bribe? How dare you.

A think its totally wrong for conservatives to be so judgemental. So that sweet little thing attacked a teacher or was for ever beating up his fellow pupils and quite often his mother as well. His Dad would have soon put a stop to that if only we knew where he was. In fact often no one knows for sure who he was. What? Liberal permissiveness run wild. How can that be tho' I do sometimes wonder why when more control was the order of the day there did seem to be less disruption. Anyway I digress.

The poor souls has got  "isshews" thats what he's got. Low self esteem as well. Look how upset he is after stealing someone's mobile phone and especially if he had to kick them in the face to do it. Its society's fault, we all know that. How dare anyone suggest that he be taught to be accountable for his own actions. Are you trying to throw him off the rails completely? As for introducing discipline into disorganised lives. These little angels have experienced so much inappropriate discipline in the past it follows that sensible discipline will only make things worse. I know we Liberals agree with that .

Lets think now, there is Joe Bloggs over there working his arse off setting up a business and doing his best to fend for himself and his family. Thats elitist that is After all he might succeed, become wealthy and you know that will only upset those he left behind and then anything could happen. Not least they wont enjoy pissing their welfare benefits up the wall. I am happy to report that due to Liberal efforts we have more "welfare wall pisser uppers" in the UK than does the US. Quite an achievement eh? Makes me feel good about myself that does.

I know lets hinder the nascent businessman every step of the way. Red tape, health and safety regulations, excessive fees to useless government beaurocrats (sp?). Thats me by the way, Actually I'm not useless 'cos I know best how to legislate for business activity 'cos I went to University and read  Media studies or Psychology. Thats what I did.

As for making it worthwhile for those that can  to save for a pension, well surely everyone realises thats hurtful and discriminatory to those that cant and especially so to those that just dont give a shit. What we need to do is level down so that whatever happens we can maximise the number of those who have inadequate income in old age. If we can spend recklessly then that
should introduce inflation into the system which will help to further erode living standards.

Another thing we Liberals can do is to lower educational standards which is obviously necessary because its grossly unfair that not all people are equal, which they definitely should be. What should happen is that everyone can get a degree and feel good about themselves. Keeps the unemployment stats. down so that cant be bad. The only reason they turn out to be unemployable is due to nasty employers wanting someone who can do a bit more than write their name and address or only feel their talents should be used in a managerial capacity. Hard manual work? I havent done any in my life so far why should I start now. I'm a thinker I am.

As for those nasty corporations that employ large numbers of people and enable them to have quite a good standard of living well the more we can do to hinder them the better. Global warming scares based on irresponsible computor programming are a perfect opportunity here.

Conclusion: I would not go so far as to say that social conservatives are perfect its just that we are more perfect than left wing social Liberals
In my wilder moments I might be forced to agree that in the past sensible Liberals have done some good things on the economic front  but as far as I can see they are now an extinct species.
Dont you agree ? 

(in reply to Owner59)
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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 1:34:35 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MichiganHeadmast


Are You A Democrate, Republican or Southerner?




Love it!

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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 1:39:17 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
I know some people seem to find your post funny, but personally, it made me shudder. I thought it stank. Owner's post was harmless; yours screamed murder and prejudice.

But I'm sure it's nothing to do with your political affiliation  .

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 2:00:30 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I know some people seem to find your post funny, but personally, it made me shudder. I thought it stank. Owner's post was harmless; yours screamed murder and prejudice.
But I'm sure it's nothing to do with your political affiliation  .


No monkey in this barrel, but don't you view your comment as a tad ironic considering your avatar? Considering your observation, is that gun pointed out reflective of your "political affiliation"? Does it scream "murder and prejudice"? How are we to determine if it is "harmless" like Owner59's post.   I "shudder" at the direct visual reference it represents to shooting anyone.

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 2:17:39 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
Oh, for crying out loud...

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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 2:54:30 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
ya know there are just certain groups of people you try to talk to.. you try to reason with... but as our govt was so smart in saying You just cant reason with some people. ( They were talking about terrorists)

I am glad people have different views.. it makes the world intereseting.. but when ever a group of people as a whole get emotional so invested that when you step onto thier side of the "world" or board or what ever.. and you try and have a conversation.. and your posts dont mimick thiers they feel slighted and that they have to belittle and explain themselves adnausem... you begin to realize there just is no "dealing with" some people.

I guess there are these "known truths" out there that some of us just dont know about or dont proscribe to.

all Islamic's are terrorists..
all Democrats are pussies...
all Republicans are gun toting shoot first ask questions later kinda folk
all Southerners ride around in pick up trucks and go a hunt'n
America is better then any other nation in the whole wide world and if you dont stand on a soap box screaming that you should move the fuck out.. or be shot.
All any woman needs is a big enough strong enough man to rule over her.. if she steps out of line a bloodly lip will straighten her out.
Liberals are evil, want to tax us to death... and want to issue mind control chips at birth
Conservitives have a direct line to the almighty and will save us all from the heathens

Let me know if I forgot any.

Gwyn,
who spent most of her Sunday with one of her best friends from church who is in the RNC.. and is seeing him tonight.

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to kittinSol)
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RE: A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative - 3/3/2008 3:11:31 PM   
Smith117


Posts: 1447
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MichiganHeadmast


Are You A Democrate, Republican or Southerner?


Damn, I guess that makes me a democratic southerner then. I'd ask all of those questions...afterward...and to my lawyer.

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