First meeting expectations

First meeting expectations (Full Version)

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ManOwner -> First meeting expectations (9/22/2005 6:25:05 PM)
To the sub males that have never met a non-pro domme in real life: What are your expectations for the first time you meet a dominant woman you have chatted with online or on the phone? How do you picture it being different from a plain old blind date? (Don't say you don't have any expectations, everyone has some). To the more experienced sub males: Did you learn anything after your first few meetings that you wish you knew at the time? How are your expectations now different than they were then?

Hoople -> RE: First meeting expectations (9/22/2005 7:29:41 PM)
Well, I'm in the "never met a non-pro" category, and I really DON'T have any solid expectations. I mean, I've run through various possibilities in my mind, but I honestly don't know what the "standard" is for this kind of thing so I don't know what to expect. Umm...I guess I would assume that the dominant woman would be more forward and, I dunno "take-charge" during the first meeting - asking more questions, not much for conversational games and beating around the bush. Would each pay for their own coffee/drinks/dinner/whatever? Jeez - I'm uncertain enough on REGULAR blind dates, I think I'll be a nervous wreck the first time I meet with a dominant woman! From what I've read on these boards, I guess first-date playing doesn't usually happen, in the interest of safety. How do these dates end, if they've gone well? A kiss? An affectionate punch to the crotch? Oh, the questions! Looking to further down the road, I would probably assume that the non-pro doesn't usually have the playspace/equipment at her disposal that the pro usually does. I would also assume that sessions don't move as fast as with a pro, since there's no $x/hour restraint. Probably flows more naturally, as compared to paying a domme for x, then y, then z. Am I right or even close in any of my assumptions, or is there no "standard"? Ulp - sorry if I've hijacked your thread a little, ManOwner! It's just that your thread asked pretty much the questions that I've been pondering as a newbie, so I thought this would be a good place for me to hopefully expand my knowledge a little, and maybe sneak in a question or two of my own to smooth the way for me when that first meeting finally comes...

Nuke718 -> RE: First meeting expectations (9/23/2005 9:46:47 AM)
Hi ManOwner, perhaps I can help. I have had initial meetings with a lot more submissives than I have Dommes, but I have had meetings. Since we have usually discussed some pretty intimate subjects before our meeting, I find them easier than 'nilla first dates. No dancing around the topic of sex, ya know what I mean. What I expect is to talk, about the lifestyle, about current events, about movies/music, about whatever. Just lika a 'nilla date, it's all about getting a feel for each other. I expect the dominant (whether it's myself or the other party) to set the tone as far as formality, but do NOT expect for anybody to overlty submit to anything (no kneeling at TGI Fridays for example). I expect to answer her questins, and to ask any that come to mind. Its a conversation for gods sake, not an interrigation. And as I dislike ultra meek, passive types I certainly don't want to come accross as one. I expect to laugh. I have an overactive sense of humor and find a lot of things funny. If a woman doesnt laugh at something, anything during the evening it's a bad sign. I don't expect physical contact, from a kiss to anything more intimate. If there IS a good night kiss, it's usually a sign things have gone well and we will be seeing more of eachother. But I do NOT go in expecting it. So there ya go, my experiences anyway. Nuke }:-

AAkasha -> RE: First meeting expectations (9/23/2005 12:47:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hoople Well, I'm in the "never met a non-pro" category, and I really DON'T have any solid expectations. I mean, I've run through various possibilities in my mind, but I honestly don't know what the "standard" is for this kind of thing so I don't know what to expect. Umm...I guess I would assume that the dominant woman would be more forward and, I dunno "take-charge" during the first meeting - asking more questions, not much for conversational games and beating around the bush. Would each pay for their own coffee/drinks/dinner/whatever? Jeez - I'm uncertain enough on REGULAR blind dates, I think I'll be a nervous wreck the first time I meet with a dominant woman! From what I've read on these boards, I guess first-date playing doesn't usually happen, in the interest of safety. How do these dates end, if they've gone well? A kiss? An affectionate punch to the crotch? Oh, the questions! Looking to further down the road, I would probably assume that the non-pro doesn't usually have the playspace/equipment at her disposal that the pro usually does. I would also assume that sessions don't move as fast as with a pro, since there's no $x/hour restraint. Probably flows more naturally, as compared to paying a domme for x, then y, then z. Am I right or even close in any of my assumptions, or is there no "standard"? Ulp - sorry if I've hijacked your thread a little, ManOwner! It's just that your thread asked pretty much the questions that I've been pondering as a newbie, so I thought this would be a good place for me to hopefully expand my knowledge a little, and maybe sneak in a question or two of my own to smooth the way for me when that first meeting finally comes... I don't think femdoms are necessarily more "take charge" during a first meeting. It really just depends on the woman. If the first meeting is set up as a blind date/get to know you situation, you should really look at it as though you are meeting a woman -- not a femdom. I don't know about other femdoms, but I've always preferred first meetings where the man was equally talkative and "take charge" instead of the types that were sort of sitting there waiting to be asked questions or told what to do because - -- after all -- he's the sub. There's no standard regarding toys. I think I have more toys than some pro femdoms. Regarding sessions, it probably would help if you didn't look at a potential relationship with a femdom as a series of sessions. There's no time length. If you are with a femdom in a dating/courting/relationship situation, you can't get irritated, for example, if she engages in some erotic play and it doesn't go as long as a pro session would. She goes with her urges an desires. Akasha

lonewolf05 -> RE: First meeting expectations (9/23/2005 5:11:58 PM)
To the more experienced sub males: Did you learn anything after your first few meetings that you wish you knew at the time? How are your expectations now different than they were then? =============== "I".........have never...........had...........any..........meetings. "I" have just, moved state to state.......and started the day i got there. no meetings for this lil gray wolf. expectations? it used to be..........some years ago...........i expected things out of people........due to MY high morals and values. but since this world has always let me down.......i stopped expecting anything out of anyone. so ......did this help? wolfie

MrPost -> RE: First meeting expectations (9/23/2005 7:21:37 PM)
Having a first time meeting after conversing on the phone or chatting online, tends to make new submissives nervous, even us who have been through the ritual a couple of times. So I understand where Hoople is coming from. But, in my experience, the first several meetings tend towards the vanilla aspect. Basically, to see if our personalities ‘mesh’ so to speak. Having the initial correspondence related to our wants and desires prior to meeting eye to eye lets the people focus on if they can truly see themselves with this particular person despite whatever flaws are present. My expectations of a dominant on a first meeting: well dressed, has a calm/cool/collected demeanor about them, is able to state their wants (mundane and otherwise) easily, asks and answers questions with equal aplomb, does not accept ‘staged’ answers (i.e. Whatever you wish), and, most importantly, do they find me acceptable. Are my expectations different, well no, I started in this lifestyle as a Top and Dom, but changed due to the precept “If you want something done right, your got to do it yourself.” So I have tended to have high expectations of dominants. In relation to the pro vs. non-pro dome that Hoople brought up, there is a multitude of threads on this site, just enter it in the search box. General disclaimer: The above statement is based upon my personal experiences, not to be taken as fact . MrPost

ManOwner -> RE: First meeting expectations (9/27/2005 8:09:03 PM)
quote: AAkasha: If the first meeting is set up as a blind date/get to know you situation, you should really look at it as though you are meeting a woman -- not a femdom. I agree. When guys are nervous because I'm a "femdom" and they're scared of me, it really ruins things. I feel like a babysitter or something, having to hold his hand so to speak. quote: Regarding sessions, it probably would help if you didn't look at a potential relationship with a femdom as a series of sessions. Yes, exactly. I often feel like guys have wasted my time when we meet and then they lose interest upon discovering I'm just a person.

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