RE: what is a Dom, a Sub?

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 7:58:16 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

When you say 'polite' you mean the opposite right?
I'm easily bemused...erm...confused.

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 7:59:28 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Actually I was not being sarcastic this one time.........I have my serious moments.....though, they be fleeting.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 8:05:23 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Seraphyim

You missed something..but it was not the point of the other thread. That was where this began, sure. But the conversation has changed. I am who I am and will not deny it any longer.

Lord Tavian

You know your former wife is here, possibly reading the threads. You state how loosing her was the worste thing to ever happen to you and how incomplete you have been all these years. You speak of regret, loss, and moving on with a second wife who is all accepting.

my instincts tell me both these threads are an attempt to wooo the ex back and test the waters of where she is emotionally with you: ie: possibly do we still have a chance together?

Going from one name to one that has Lord infront of it is silly posturing and does nothing for your image except to perhaps clue us in to how clueless you really are.

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 8:08:28 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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It really all depends on the drives and motivations of the individuals involved.

While I like kink, it's secondary to performance. Both mine, and of the person I have authority over. I'm sort of a cold bastard that way-put in some worthwhile effort, or hit the road.

I guess some would call that cruel-I call it "showing value"

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 8:15:05 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

what does being a dom/sub mean to you?

they are labels that can represent a particular personality type, desired or actual relationship structure, preferred or innate sexual orientation and any one individual can posses any combination of the three either continuously, at specific intervals or negotiated times.

quote:

what is the difference between showing affection through domination as opposed to random cruelty?

individual perspective.

quote:

Can a normally submissive individual learn to be dominant in a relationship?

what does "normally" submissive mean?

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 8:31:07 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Seraphyim

You missed something..but it was not the point of the other thread. That was where this began, sure. But the conversation has changed. I am who I am and will not deny it any longer.

Lord Tavian

Tavian, or Seraphyim - whatever you call yourself now - the thing I see is a person making decisions rashly and immediately.
I am biased, I prefered Seraphyim as a name...however I do encourage you to explore yourself - but don't make decisions before you know yourself and what you want. Otherwise you will risk destroying your integrity and your immediate present - as well as your future.
I'm taking your posts as genuine, I may be wrong and if I am - meh - I can live with it.

And don't do or post anything with the hope that your ex will read this. It will probably be a pointless endeavour. Concentrate on your present and your future - don;t get locked in your past.

the.dark.

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 8:50:03 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns http://www.mysticrose.com/books/strtoc.htm

Of all the BDSM books out there, I find this to be the worst one that anyone can look to for answers about what constitutes a "submissive" or "dominant".

While there is a lot of great safety information in there, it presents a mycopic viewpoint of the "lifestyle", taking one way and projecting it as "THE way". They include the politically correct disclaimers, but more as an afterthought and in a kind of "Yeah, there is other people who disagree with us, but we are just mentioning them because we have to and our way is Twue".

Not everyone associates submisisve or dominant with who is holding the toy, use them interchangably with Top and Bottom in a confusing way, or consider kink, play, and fantasy to be the defining elements of WIITWD.

When I was completely new and the net monkeys that proceeded you presented me with the same list of books to read to "learn", I think I actually ended up worse off by reading this one first.

If I had skipped it and read the others with a more wordly perspective of the lifestyle or payed attention to message boards like this one with a diverse population of posters, I might not have made as big of an ass out of myself with the "One Twue Way".

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RE: what is a Dom, a Sub? - 3/4/2008 10:06:36 AM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

I am new here, and to the BDSM experience, in fact, this is my first post. I'm here trying to learn and explore these areas of myself, and others, that I think I've repressed in the past. I am finding these forums, with links and references to information very helpful and want to thank you A/all for you kindness in sharing your knowledge and experience.
As for Seraphym/Lord Tavanian, I'm certainly not in a position to judge him, and would choose not to in any case. But I am very impressed with the show of tolerance, kindness and willingness to help him that you A/all have shown here. It's impressive, indeed. And it demonstrates , to me, at least, that love and kindness can , and is, demonstreated by many in this lifestyle, Dom/Domme and sub, not only to the people they are in relationship with, but to perfect strangers as well.
Thank you A/all for you input.
Regards
cj

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Post #: 28