Sensetive Subject

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JakkthePirate -> Sensetive Subject (3/5/2008 11:47:47 PM)
i have had this sub for about 6 months and one of the things she has mad clear from the begining is that is she doesnt like when i masterbate. it makes her feel inadequate. so i dont do it alone besides that is sort of one of her rolls as a sub to pleasure me. a couple of months ago she brought to my attention that i masterbate in my sleep, she called it sex-amnia. i read i little about it on other forums but nothing medical. so i dismissed it and it has kindof become a jokes the last couple of months. she would say something and i would deny it then she threaten to record me while i sleep. whatever it was all joking. she told me that it happends more when i am worried about something and that i am more likely to do it if we had not has sex before going to sleep. she had been on her cycle for the last 3 day and the sex per day has dropped. not her fault it is mine i cant deal with the blood.not blood in general... "that" blood. i woke this evening after climax. apperently i have been doing this and have been asleep the whole time. i amm digusted with my self because i hurt her and failed in something that she has made clear was importent to her. my question is What the HELL? is there something wrong with me? how do i control myself when i am asleep? anyone have any idea what i am talking about? i have been putting an effort co control things in my life that i have not before... i mean if you cant control yourself how and you control someone else, right? she is making me want to better myself. i am at a loss. thanks, Jakk

MissMagnolia -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/5/2008 11:52:39 PM)
Try sleeping in a cock cage if it's that important. If she get's THAT upset because of something you do when unaware, she maybe needs to get a hobby. Tell her you'll stop wanking when she stops bleeding. It's just as stupid.

BitaTruble -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/5/2008 11:54:39 PM)
First of all, quit beating yourself up about what you do while sleeping. You have no control over what happens during sleep any more than a sleepwalker does. My advice would be just quit worrying about it but if you absolutely have to do something to prevent it, then put on a CB device and lock yourself in for the night. Celeste

ownedgirlie -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 12:01:26 AM)
Hmm, many men I've known masturbate in their sleep. Your submissive's feelings of inadequacy appear to run much deeper than anything you are doing. But I'll join the others in advising on a CBT or hell, even having her bind you for the night if you wish to meet her demands.

ForcefuIHands -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 12:34:53 AM)
Yeah, this runs all kinds of levels of things that are not your fault. An ex, and it's the reason she became an ex, used to get mad at me when she would call at 3am and I was still half in dreams. I remember having this dream, about her none the less, and we were late going somewhere... and she calls me, so the first thing I say into the phone is "We can't talk about this now, we're going to be late!" This started a fight. You're asleep. If it was a quick-fix like snoring, you could put a strip on your penis and be done. But as a guy, the relationship between a man and his hand is a bond that runs deep. You would masturbate while she wasn't there, how is her being there any different? You have practiced with your handy-dandy righty tighty for nearly, I'm guessing, two decades. How can she even think she has the experience to rival that? Now, if she's giving you a blow job and you are rolling your eyes saying, "Never mind, I think I'll just rub one out" then maybe I could understand. Oh, and ARRRR, MATEY!

GreedyTop -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 12:41:49 AM)
she needs therapy, if she has that much insecurity. just sayin'.

peppermint -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 1:33:32 AM)
My husband masturbated a lot, asleep or awake. If he were awake and masturbating it was usually prelude to sex. My problem is that i never knew if i should ignore the bed shaking and go back to sleep or whether to stay up cause he was going to wake me up shortly. Your sub is with you to serve you, not berate you for masturbating while asleep.

Justme696 -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 2:36:41 AM)
Hi Jakk not sure what relation you 2 have...but it sucks how she responds to you. If you explained you do it uncontrolled, then she should accept it. At least have normal discussion about it. Perhaps you can talk with a docter about it....or......relieve in her every night. She is happy..and you might stop mastrubating in your sleep perhaps. (sounds like a nice experiment to do).

Focus50 -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 2:36:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JakkthePirate i have had this sub for about 6 months and one of the things she has mad clear from the begining is that is she doesnt like when i masterbate. it makes her feel inadequate. so i dont do it alone besides that is sort of one of her rolls as a sub to pleasure me. a couple of months ago she brought to my attention that i masterbate in my sleep, she called it sex-amnia. i read i little about it on other forums but nothing medical. so i dismissed it and it has kindof become a jokes the last couple of months. she would say something and i would deny it then she threaten to record me while i sleep. whatever it was all joking. she told me that it happends more when i am worried about something and that i am more likely to do it if we had not has sex before going to sleep. she had been on her cycle for the last 3 day and the sex per day has dropped. not her fault it is mine i cant deal with the blood.not blood in general... "that" blood. i woke this evening after climax. apperently i have been doing this and have been asleep the whole time. i amm digusted with my self because i hurt her and failed in something that she has made clear was importent to her. my question is What the HELL? is there something wrong with me? how do i control myself when i am asleep? anyone have any idea what i am talking about? i have been putting an effort co control things in my life that i have not before... i mean if you cant control yourself how and you control someone else, right? she is making me want to better myself. i am at a loss. Maybe you should take over being the Dom in your relationship for awhile.... It sounds like the two of you have "enough" sex as a couple but the truth seems to be that intercourse isn't enough for you. So instead of getting sucked into some guilt trip because your sub has her own standards of what (and who) should satisfy you, maybe you could decide all by yourself. So be a good Dom and take the bull by the balls. If you think you have a problem, go see your quack! If he can't help he'll at least be able to point you in the right direction. But if the problem is really your subs; that you like sex AND some extra-curricular wanking, then sit her down and tell her how it is.... Sure as hell masturbation doesn't hafta be about insecurities even though your sub seems determined to rationalise it that way. I certainly don't feel insecure about making my girl masturbate for my viewing pleasure. You're either nuts or it's just that she has you convinced you're nuts. Go see someone not invested in the relationship and find out. Being comfortable in your own skin is one of the better Dom traits.... Focus.

Rayne58 -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 2:39:44 AM)
Jakk, you're not alone. My Husband/Dom has what you're referring to, it's actually called sexsomnia. In the past He's had sex with partners while asleep, and He also masturbates when asleep. He has a very high testosterone level which could be a factor [:)] Regarding your sub not liking when you masturbate - it really sounds like she is insecure. My sex drive is lower than Sir's, and He respects that sometimes I am not in the mood. I am perfectly willing to satisfy Him in other ways, but sometimes He just prefers a wank [;)] We joke about it, I'm not threatened in the least by it, He's done it for most of His life and there's no reason why He should stop now [:D]

SixFootMaster -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 2:46:41 AM)
I gave up wanking this morning, I never thought that I could, I'll throw away me dark glasses, and then I'll be off it for good. When I first wanked I thought I's so clever, and all of me mates they were mugs. Thought I was the first, bloke here on earth, who'd ever played with his slug. It was me own little secret, and I never told anyone, and the feeling I got, the first time I shot, was like chooks flyin out of me bum. Kevin Bloody Wilson

colouredin -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 3:52:01 AM)
See there has been a bit of mention about this before, Ive never seen it before and i feel left out. :( To be honest your not wanking wont stop the insecurity she will just transfer it to something else, then something else, if you want a real solution she has to work out what her issue is becuase seriously when you are asleep how can it affect anyone? i mean its not that you are saying anything about her you are asleep. and to be honest i have never really got the problem with masterbating. I was talking about it the other day, if Sir's fave chrisps were quavers and then one day he tired hola hoops and they became his fave it wouldnt mean that he would never want quavers again and if he had quavers it wouldnt stop him loving hola hoops. Seriously talk to the girl find out what the real problem is.

SailingBum -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 3:58:24 AM)
Shiver my timber Jak, A couple things come to mind. After all a doms gotta do what a doms gotta do. BFD <B>ig <F>ucking <D>eal if she doesn't like to see you spank it. When that time of month comes around can you say Blow Job. Anyone with pirate in their nick can't be all bad. Best of luck. BadOne

SayaNereida -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 4:02:39 AM)
Hi Jakk, Couple of questions: If it weren't for her making such a big deal out of it, would you still think there is something wrong with you? "she told me that it happends more when i am worried about something and that i am more likely to do it if we had not has sex before going to sleep" Oh and she knows it happens more often when you are worried, so she gives you something to worry and stress over? Is she doing all that she can to make sure you are not stressed and physically satisfied? Not to go all 'arm chair pyschologist' but we deal with things in a dreaming we have difficulties dealing with when awake. Masterbating in your sleep could be just your way of relieving stress or it could be something else, you need to figure it out if you really want to stop doing it. This struck me, "she is making me want to better myself." we all want to be the best we can be, and if you are doing it first for youself , hoping it will make her happy great but if the changes you are making are mainly to make someone else happy...umm...why? BTW, your masterbating is not what makes her feel inadequate, she feels inadequate, her issue not yours. Saya

Level -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 4:05:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble First of all, quit beating yourself up about what you do while sleeping. Celeste Yep, less beating up, and more beating off.

MistressCamille -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 4:41:51 AM)
Jakk, she has made her problem turn into your problem. Be the Dom and get her to deal with it instead of making you miserable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation, even when in a sexual relationship.

IrishMist -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 4:45:31 AM)
I am confused. Your profile states that you are the Dominant partner and she is the submissive partner. Yet...from what you are saying here; it's obvious she runs the relationship.

mnottertail -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 4:47:59 AM)
tell your slave that if she becomes aware of you shining the rod when you are getting your snore on that she wrap her lips around the motherfucker and get it handled. end of joke, she is inadequate, if she is bitching and not sucking. Ron

RCdc -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 5:04:14 AM)
She is the one with issues, not you Jakk. People masturbate and orgasm in their sleep, fact. You can't cannot 'stop' yourself and as it isn;t causing any physical harm, the mental distress you are suffering because of her insecurities sucks the most. Personally, I would tell her to grow up and learn from masturbation. I am incredibly turned on by my partners masturbation, drives me wild quite honestly and Darcy can use it as a complete torture for me - which rocks and he knows which buttons to press which he enjoys. If it doesn't bother you, teach her more about it and if she makes it a hard limit - then decide if shes worth the added stress shes putting you through and whether she is worth not masturbating over. No pun intended. the.dark.

hiswetness -> RE: Sensetive Subject (3/6/2008 5:12:04 AM)
i must say when i know my Daddy is masturbating it turns me on!! If i saw him doing it...i most certainly would do what i can to help him get where he wanted to go!!! He actually uses it to tease me. i think she is insecure and doesnt feel she is pleasing you enough. Maybe you should work on her insecurities and then she won't notice how often you do it!!! It is a symptom of a bigger issue....solve the issue...her problem with you masturbating will go away. i have always thought all men do it...no matter how much they get. Let's be honest it feels good and sometimes you just want the release it gives. Noone person can be everything to another...it is impossible. Your masturbation does not mean you dont desire her or want her or that she doesnt please you. In fact it has nothing to do with her at all! It is you having a private moment. i am very pro masturbation!! i recommend it highly and if more people did it the world would be a much better place!!!!

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