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TreasureKY -> RE: It could be better ... (3/8/2008 6:50:47 AM)
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Fast reply...
I'm going to put a little different spin on this than the other posters have so far. It isn't that I don't agree that chronic complainers are a bore and an energy drain, but there is a limit to the opposite. I've known people who are "little miss sunshine" and to be honest, when I'm having a rough time and just need a shoulder to cry on, they are the ones I end up wanting to throttle. Please do not ever tell me that there are people in this world who are worse off... I have never wanted to elevate myself on the backs of others less fortunate. I see that as being right up there with putting others down to make yourself look good.
And does it truly make a loss less painful to know that it could have been worse?
*imagines a conversation*
"You should be happy that you only lost one child... you could have lost both, you know."
Excuse me? Yes, a loss could be worse... but that doesn't make the current pain feel good.
There is a difference between saying "things aren't so bad" and "things will get better". The first invalidates, the second encourages.
Sometimes I just need to hear some words of sympathy and sometimes I just need someone to listen. Sometimes I don't want to be reminded of what is right in my life or be told how I could fix things. Sometimes I just need someone to hold me and tell me it's okay to I feel what I feel. I think everyone deserves a little time to grieve.
I do understand that it is frustrating to listen to someone whose problems seem minor to our own. But isn't that really just focusing on how we feel? Just because my problems seem much worse that your problems, does that mean you don't have the right to be upset about yours?
Of course, I do agree that it is difficult to be around someone who never seems to live on the bright side of life. There are people who seem to enjoy wallowing in their own misery, and they often try to drag others into their drama. You aren't wrong for wanting to avoid that.
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