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Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/7/2008 7:57:36 PM

pixelslave

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I've said several times that I'd post about some of the sessions I attended at SPLF that I found the most interesting. One was called "Beyond Catharsis", presented by Slave Rick. It was about being in sub space or Top space during a scene, obtaining a sense of release of guilt or excesses baggage that one often carries with them, and being on something of a spiritual high afterward. The question was posed, how does long does it last for you when that happens and what changes in your thinking or environment around you to cause it to change? It was proposed that it's more than about endorphins and must be at least partially something that involves a change in one's internal thinking as well. In essence, the discussions was about how BDSM practices can enhance one's spiritual growth in addition to other things they may do to change their way of looking at life and experiencing their surroundings.

I found the discussion very thought provoking for me. I tend to go into subspace at the drop of a dime when I play. The concept that my response to it could be maintained if only I changed the way I react to my surroundings or my response to others I encounter in order to preserve the time spent on that higher plane of existence for a longer time was a very appealing thought to me. Imagine becoming a kinder, gentler person as a result of the way you process your thoughts following play. Remember this isn't just for subs, but for Dommes experiencing Top space as well and it isn't intended to replace one's other work to enhance their spiritual growth; only as another means to further their progress in that regard.

I'd greatly enjoy hearing other's thoughts on the subject as well.

- pixel

< Message edited by pixelslave -- 3/7/2008 7:59:14 PM >

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RE: Spirituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/7/2008 9:18:07 PM

MsIncontrol

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I think spirituality and the scene are the new hot topic. At an event I was at recently they had a "sacred touch tent" and the group that puts it on has a SIG called Synergy that focuses on the spirituality aspect of BDSM.

For me, top space is a two fold feeling. One it is a physical release...like exercise to me, any of the stresses from the day are released immediately. The other is an emotional release...but not so much of guilt or excess baggage...more simply forgetting all those things that went on during my day and feeling just happy and content. I will say..I have very little guilt or excess baggage in my life...I've done a lot of work to free myself from that so that may be why I am not experiencing that type of release.

One thing I am working on with relationship to BDSM and spirituality is mindfulness. I am studying the work of Jon Kabot Zinn who teaches mindful meditation. For me, it has helped me learn to be in the present moment each moment in my life.

It is so easy to watch television and feel overwhelmed with what it is going on this world...it is so easy to get caught up in all of things we think we want and don't yet have...it is so easy to dwell on our past. However, it is very difficult to just be...present and in the moment...and be mindful of just that. In the moment to be grateful for all we have, all we are, just as we are at this moment...and make a more emotional connection to the present moment.

When I am playing with someone..really focus on them...the tools I am using...the experiences of life that have brought us together etc. It makes everything so much meaningful...then standing and flogging someone for 45 minutes straight. In respect to one of your desires...when someone is massaging or worshiping my feet I try to really focus on all of things that are happening...it is so wonderful and much more intense. I try to focus on the feel, the smell, the devotion, the sight, the sounds etc. Previously I would sit there and allow someone to worship my feet...while I enjoyed it...my mind would be somewhere else..like work, wondering what I should wear tomorrow etc. Now I am fully in the moment...and encourage my submissives to be also...it makes for a much deeper and intense experience.

My favorite quote that I try and remember to live by is: Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift..that is why we call it the present.

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RE: Spirituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/8/2008 8:48:00 AM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncontrol

For me, top space is a two fold feeling. One it is a physical release...like exercise to me, any of the stresses from the day are released immediately. The other is an emotional release...but not so much of guilt or excess baggage...more simply forgetting all those things that went on during my day and feeling just happy and content. I will say..I have very little guilt or excess baggage in my life...I've done a lot of work to free myself from that so that may be why I am not experiencing that type of release.

The examples you cite are others that were mentioned. As a submissive, it is difficult for me to think of things form a top space POV. I was quickly trying to compose my OP and the ones I cited were ones that I could immediately recall. One example that was previously given to me from a domme I know with whom I discussed this subject some time ago was of an executive who had been told to fire several of his employees and was given no choice in the matter. That wasn't baggage from the past, but stress and guilt from the present about having to perform an unpleasant task. It could have become added baggage he would have carried forward into the future had he not released it during a flogging.

quote:

One thing I am working on with relationship to BDSM and spirituality is mindfulness. I am studying the work of Jon Kabot Zinn who teaches mindful meditation. For me, it has helped me learn to be in the present moment each moment in my life.

This too was a major item of discussion by Slave Rick. While playing and experiencing sensation (or giving it) it is difficult to be anyplace other than in the present. Maintaining that mindset was part of what was discussed. The cause for the loss of that mindset is a large part of the reason for the loss of spirituality that occurs. I wish I could say more on that, but I didn't take notes; instead sitting and listening to absorb what was being said during the session.

quote:

It is so easy to watch television and feel overwhelmed with what it is going on this world...it is so easy to get caught up in all of things we think we want and don't yet have...it is so easy to dwell on our past. However, it is very difficult to just be...present and in the moment...and be mindful of just that. In the moment to be grateful for all we have, all we are, just as we are at this moment...and make a more emotional connection to the present moment.

This is one of the other, non BDSM methods of developing one's spirituality which BDSM play can augment, but not replace.

quote:

When I am playing with someone..really focus on them...the tools I am using...the experiences of life that have brought us together etc. It makes everything so much meaningful...then standing and flogging someone for 45 minutes straight.

Exactly!

quote:

In respect to one of your desires...when someone is massaging or worshiping my feet I try to really focus on all of things that are happening...it is so wonderful and much more intense. I try to focus on the feel, the smell, the devotion, the sight, the sounds etc. Previously I would sit there and allow someone to worship my feet...while I enjoyed it...my mind would be somewhere else..like work, wondering what I should wear tomorrow etc. Now I am fully in the moment...and encourage my submissives to be also...it makes for a much deeper and intense experience.

You clearly understand both the BDSM and the non-BDSM aspects of a spiritual path related to living in the present which can enhance one's life experience. I can go deep into sub-space while massaging and worshipping a Mistress' feet with whom I'm involved. I become totally involved in the present and the gift of myself I am giving her.

quote:

My favorite quote that I try and remember to live by is: Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift..that is why we call it the present.

An excellent quote. Much easier to say than to do!

- pixel

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RE: Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/8/2008 12:47:08 PM

Wheldrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

It was about being in sub space or Top space during a scene, obtaining a sense of release of guilt or excesses baggage that one often carries with them, and being on something of a spiritual high afterward.

I don’t want to come across as sounding negative or argumentative, but I personally don’t experience “subspace” – at least, not in the way that you and many others seem to describe it. There’s no sense of achieving an unusual state of consciousness, no particular sense of profound connection with the person who’s working me over, and certainly no sense of being on a “higher plane of existence”. I do tend to lose track of time, and I have to admit it’s hard to think about much else when I’m handcuffed and blindfolded and an unpleasantly sharp object is being pressed into intimate parts of my anatomy, but I remain pretty much coherent and rational. I can think clearly and crisply about what’s being done to me, and how scary, painful and exciting it all is. There’s no real “release of guilt or excess baggage”, either, although I suppose that torture sessions are a bit of a holiday from the cares and concerns of everyday life. The immediacy of overwhelming pain can be a welcome distraction!

Perhaps this means that I’m just not very spiritual, which is something I can live with. However, I do like to think that experiencing pain, fear and suffering makes me in some way a stronger person, as if I’m being tempered in a fire. I might call that personal growth, but I don’t think I’d use the word spiritual. Similarly, involvement in BDSM affects the way I look at questions of power, inequality and suffering in the world in general, but that has more to do with the intellect than the spirit.

Anyway, I find it very interesting that your experience of submission is so different from mine. I’ll be interested to read other perspectives.

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RE: Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/8/2008 2:31:45 PM

petpete

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For me spirituality of BDSM is the core and the foundation of the practice. It is the depth that the people wish to explore and the springboard for the heights to achieve in the sexual excitement to find. Without it BDSM has no meaning.

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RE: Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/8/2008 6:06:47 PM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake

I don’t want to come across as sounding negative or argumentative, but I personally don’t experience “subspace” – at least, not in the way that you and many others seem to describe it. There’s no sense of achieving an unusual state of consciousness, no particular sense of profound connection with the person who’s working me over, and certainly no sense of being on a “higher plane of existence”. I do tend to lose track of time, and I have to admit it’s hard to think about much else when I’m handcuffed and blindfolded and an unpleasantly sharp object is being pressed into intimate parts of my anatomy, but I remain pretty much coherent and rational.

Do you play casually or do you have a deep emotional connection with your partner(s)?

In my experience, the more intense of an emotional connection one has with their partner, the deeper the level of trust that exists between them; freeing them of any inhibitions that might otherwise prevent them from disappearing into sub space. Your mileage of course may vary.

- pixel

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RE: Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/8/2008 6:34:41 PM

RedMagic1

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Spirituality transcends BDSM. BDSM is one facet of sexuality, and every major religion recognizes that loving, committed sexual relations can be sacred. Tantra is the obvious example, but even the Judeo-Chrisitan tradition states that "the marriage bed is not defiled" -- meaning that whatever you do there is a Good Thing in the eyes of God.

The interchanges between creativity, spirituality and sexuality are fundamental to the relationship I am in. I won't say much, but will mention that our first date included use of a Tibetan prayer bowl; and that we just co-authored a poem she will be performing at a hip-hop rally.

Discussion of subspace, while a good start, seems limiting. I have never felt more alive than I do in the afterglow of sacred sex -- whether or not I climaxed biologically.

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RE: Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/10/2008 8:34:00 AM

MistressDollys

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For me, getting into subspace is easily reached through pain; preferably a good flogging, a single tail session, having clothes pins first
placed on various parts of my body and then either removed or smacked off with a crop as well as the many other devious tortures Mistress devises. At least that's been my experience so far when playing. It takes a little while to get that rush feeling but when it comes my shoulders drop and my entire body relaxes. I get an elated feeling and everything becomes fun. Life takes a back seat and my mind goes into the exchange between my Mistress and myself. I tend to get a little giddy and start giggling and then laughing. It definitely helps to have someone
playing with me who enjoys what they are doing and doesn't take themselves to seriously.

When I'm in that subspace all thought pretty much stands still, my mind lets my muscles relax and I breathe slowly and deeply into the pain allowing me to go further and further into it. I tend to become acutely aware of the movements around me, especially the movements that Mistress is making. It seems the length and or intensity of play after reaching that endorphin stage adds to the feeling of elation and how long it will last afterwards. When we've finished playing and are cooling down I sense a stronger bond between us. I feel more in tune with things but yet spacey at the same time.

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RE: Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/10/2008 9:38:19 AM

MistressDollys

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Regarding the spiritual side of subspace and play; I was raised Catholic and brought all the associated guilt with me when I first started experimenting in BDSM. It took me a while to get over the internal "after play" guilt trip even though my personal beliefs have been in line with the Wiccan philosophy for a long time, which is "do as you wish but harm no one". I think the spirituality of BDSM is very personal and involves many different layers depending on where you are in life.

Play has changed my life and continues to do so every time I get the chance the do it. When at an event I can let myself go in that environment with people who don't judge anyone but just want to have fun. After an especially intense session I feel great the next day. I'm in a good mood and am more pleasant to people around me. Things seem brighter, life seems better. My perception of people has changes to the point where I don't mind their little quirks as much as I did the day before. All in all play is good for the soul.

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RE: Sprituality and D/s or BDSM - 3/10/2008 4:47:30 PM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDollys
Play has changed my life and continues to do so every time I get the chance the do it. When at an event I can let myself go in that environment with people who don't judge anyone but just want to have fun. After an especially intense session I feel great the next day. I'm in a good mood and am more pleasant to people around me. Things seem brighter, life seems better. My perception of people has changes to the point where I don't mind their little quirks as much as I did the day before. All in all play is good for the soul.

There's no doubt that play can be very good for the soul. The question is, if you feel great the next day as you describe, what happens that prevents you from still feeling great the day after that, or the 3rd day after, etc? What happens to cause you to lose that "something" where you don't mind people's little quirks as much? Are you able to recognize it when it happens?

That was where the session I was attending at SPLF was trying to lead people to when this subject was discussed. I don't have the answers, but thought it was a worthwhile question to further explore if one wants to live as stress free and as harmonious with the rest of the world as possible.

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