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VelvetIronTouch -> Best Joke Ever (9/24/2005 1:11:26 PM)
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this lady, pregnant with tripplets, gets mugged and shot three times in the stomach. They rush her to emergency surgery. The next day, in post op, the doc says "I have great news, you and all your babies are going to be OK"
"However," he says, "Each of your babies has a bullet in them, and the specialist determinded that trying to take them out now would do more harm than good, but that they should work themselves out naturally sometime in their adolescent years"
So time passses, and one day her 13-year old daughter starts screaming "Mom! Mom help quick!" so she rushes upstairs, frantic, "what is it baby??? what's the matter?" "Oh mom!" h er distraught daughter says, "I...I was going to the bathroom and a bullet came out of me!"
So she comforts her, explains the story to her, calms her down. A few days later, her other 13-year-old daughter calls out to her, also in hysterics. "Mom, mom help!" So she goes up, and sure enough, same thing; "I was going to the bathroom and a bullet came out of me!"
So she soothes her as well, and, sure enough, a few days later, her 13-year-old son starts calling for her, "MOm! MOOOOM! help mom!"
Now she's relaxed, takes her time going up there, and says "Shh honey, it's ok. I know. You were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out of you."
Her son shakes his head, tears streaming down his face, "No,mom, no."
Now she gets a bit concerned, "well, what happened son?? what's wrong?"
Wracked by sobs, he blurts out: "Oh mom..it was horrible..I...I...I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"
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