RE: How can you spot a fake Dom?

RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (Full Version)

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Sundowner -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 2:41:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Veexen I think one of the most valuable ones, if a bit unpalatable, was from Softness Yup - that's soft - a bit unpalatable at times, but valuable.

softness -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 2:45:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sundowner quote: ORIGINAL: Veexen I think one of the most valuable ones, if a bit unpalatable, was from Softness Yup - that's soft - a bit unpalatable at times, but valuable. never claimed to be nice ... just to be good

Sundowner -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 2:47:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness quote: ORIGINAL: Sundowner quote: ORIGINAL: Veexen I think one of the most valuable ones, if a bit unpalatable, was from Softness Yup - that's soft - a bit unpalatable at times, but valuable. never claimed to be nice ... just to be good Oh you're good kid; trust me, you're good.

colouredin -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 2:54:28 PM)
anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner?

greeneyedreamer -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 3:05:51 PM)
quote: I do listen to my inner voice but am just not sure I can trust it at the moment. I will ask him. He's been nothing but respectful and kind so far. I really hope that I'm totally wrong and that he is genuine as I feel a strong connection to him What does that voice tell you? He "sounds" ok... respectful, etc. So what do you feel is the problem? What is giving you the feeling that he is a problem? What is the problem? Have you been with him sexually? If so how did that feel? Or if not, do you want to? Only you can know what you feel. You never really stated what your reservations were with this guy. Let us know how you make out... Dreamer

petpete -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 3:10:48 PM)
i think its more important to focus on the points of "why" has a person taken interest in you more then trying to spot as to who is fake or not.. Are they after you as a person or something that you may possess that they are after more likely to share or have?? Dominance has many faces and options and i have heard this from people a number of times accusing others of being fake. How can someone prove that somebody is fake?? That word for me is discriminant and does not and should not have a place here at least. The same also goes with the subs. It has been a number of times that i have been accused as a fake sub cause i cannot and will not accept the type of domination of a certain persons practice, instead of just accepting the fact that the partners are not suitable for each other.

greeneyedreamer -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 3:53:31 PM)
I agree with you 100%. Each person has their own view and ideas about domination and submission. I just really don't like the men who pretend to be a dom and then abuse women. There are those out there. And they are despicable. I hate to see a new submissive find one of those.

Sundowner -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 4:14:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner? Nope. (Mind you an attractive mind is more important than an attractive face (but don't get me wrong, hot works). 5'2" is great and UK is good too. Where is Wiltshire?)

Veexen -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 4:22:00 PM)
I don't think my Dom is abusive, I think I may have been one of the lucky ones and found a good one - albeit quickly. And I do recognise that it is very quick and that a fair amount of luck has been involved. I panicked earlier, because of being so new to this, because of a past experience. I didn't know how to handle what i was feeling so came on here - for advice. And that is what I've been given. Thanks Domahpet for what you said and I agree, I'm scared for me - which is why I am here, discussing things. My Dom has said that he wants me to chat to people, to use the forums and chat rooms, to learn as much as I can - which I think can only be a good thing. So I'll be back. Next time I have a problem or a concern. Thanks to everyone!

greeneyedreamer -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 5:31:26 PM)
[:)] Hugs and be well... looks like you didn't make a bad decision after all!!! Dreamer

softness -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 5:49:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sundowner quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner? Nope. (Mind you an attractive mind is more important than an attractive face (but don't get me wrong, hot works). 5'2" is great and UK is good too. Where is Wiltshire?) just rolls her eyes

SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 7:07:33 PM)
quote: i think that when you are very new and excited about finally getting out there and finding someone, when someone does come along that seems to push all the buttons, for the first time, lets not forget (heady stuff), all of the newbie subbie instincts go into overload. they call it sub frenzy - a thoroughly recognised phenomenon. emotions go all over the place, submission is hot and scary at the same time and on top of all of that there is the requirement to trust a guy who ultimatly wants to do things that would curl your mothers toes. plus the intensity of the internet can be incredible, particularly when suppressed sexuality is suddenly given freedom to express itself. I have been a victim of sub frenzy. My first dom and I did not meet for a year after we first began exploring things together... he introduced me to the lifestyle, and i met him through my political activism online and we were friends through that for 6 months before we went there. I know all about attaching myself to someone that I did not meet in the real world. I know all about the feelings of sub frenzy. We did meet and spend time in the real world.. it did not work out. I suppose I believe I did not have the emotional wherewithall to sustain a relationship when I was attempting to pursue one with my former dom. I speak from personal experience here. I met my Daddy only a few months after that relationship ended. I did have the emotional wherewithall this time to sustain what we share now. I was not operating under sub frenzy. I was not impatient to submit. The newness had worn off my discovery of my submission. I also knew more about what I wanted from a D/s relationship and went about getting it, which was an extremely empowering place to be. Just because I state that it sounds like someone does not have the emotional wherewithall to jump into a relationship does not mean that I am judging them as somehow "flawed". Sometimes it is a good thing to know our limitations so that we can overcome them with eyes opened. It seems to speed up the process of being ready to admit that maybe we aren't in my mind... at least it works that way for me. Taking a breather for a month or two and getting acquainted with our wants and needs and desires can only help us obtain them. Doesn't mean that one can't make dom friends and get to know people... If I were a dom I would avoid a sub with frenzy like the plague... but I am not a dom, so what would I know[:D] Sinergy's strumpet

BabyDollVanIsle -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 7:49:56 PM)
i tried to follow lally3's link and it didn't work, so scouted out the right link. that website is great.. a lot of detailed, common sense information about the BDSM lifestyle and a LOT of great information for new subs. http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Lifestyle/sub_frenzies.htm veexen, do you know what you want out of the BDSM lifestyle yet? a lot of the advice given out is designed for people who want to play without committment and use BDSM for sensation exploration and broaden their horizons. myself, i realized i wanted to find the right man, not even necessarily the right Dominant man... but probably i would need the Dominant part for it to be the right man. I found my right man within 2 and a half months of discovering i was submissive. he was the first Dominant man i met and submitted to. i realized that despite my out of control sexual feelings (can we spell sub frenzy??) i did NOT want to be passed around the BDSM community having multiple sexual encounters and short relationships, or even a long ongoing relationship where it was not exclusive. i didnt' want to expose myself to the emotional turmoil of making multiple attachements with Doms hoping for a long term relationship, being enjoyed for a while, then discarded as a new more interesting 'toy' came along. and the BDSM community has a lot of that, just like Vanilla dating life has a lot of that. i was contacted by someone i could immediately see was different, was also looking for a long term exclusive relationship, and who was an active and respected part of the local BDSM community (i hate secrecy... would simply not meet someone if i didn't have their real name and contact information under any conditions no matter how public and 'safe'). we met and i found him as loving, trustworthy and interesting as he appeared. now, am i going to follow the advice to not let one Dom tie up all my time, to explore other possibilities? originally i said i was going to do that.. i was not going to be exlusive at the beginning, and meet other Dom's for the experience. And he agreed, if that was what i needed to do. but i never did follow through on that. i just wanted to be with him too much to spend time with anyone else exploring. if i had available time, i wanted to spend it with him. i have no desire to be 'supersub' or meet 'Uber-Dom'. it's all about what you want out of the experience.

petpete -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 11:51:51 PM)
greeneye, you make a point. There are many times that i observe profiles of men that sound pretty fishy to me. i feel very much for submissive women and i have heard of instances that they have been taken advantage of and hurt. They really need to get to know there partners well before jumping on the ban wagon..

SophiaCorrupted -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/8/2008 11:56:16 PM)
The best tip I can give you is to act like an asshole and come off as a snotty brat, fake doms usually aren't in the mood to deal with that sort of thing. It's worked pretty well for me!

BlackKnight -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/9/2008 12:08:15 AM)
How can you spot a fake dom?? is this like where's waldo??? or is there a big red arrow above his head with white letters on it "fake Dom""" pointing at him??? " we're here out in the urban jungle searching for the fake dom, Should be easier to track than a real dom. for there is a great abundance of these psudo-doms out there than real ones! "

SailingBum -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/9/2008 1:59:25 AM)
The OP has got to be kidding. The fastest way to spot a fake is they either short, fat, bald, old and have a pin dick. OR tall dark handsome young and hung like a horse. The other way to spot a fake anything is to invest some time get to know them and deciede for yourself Here is a better quesiton. How do I know your real??? I've been around a long time but my bull shit meter broke. BadOne

MissMagnolia -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/9/2008 3:01:52 AM)
I thought the fake doms were the ones in the fake moustaches and fake noses.[&:]

Sundowner -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/9/2008 5:05:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness quote: ORIGINAL: Sundowner quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin anyone you WONT flirt outragously with Sundowner? Nope. (Mind you an attractive mind is more important than an attractive face (but don't get me wrong, hot works). 5'2" is great and UK is good too. Where is Wiltshire?) just rolls her eyes Oh shit. Again. A danger here soft that you'll soon work out I'm a fake dom.

lally3 -> RE: How can you spot a fake Dom? (3/9/2008 5:28:58 AM)
If I were a dom I would avoid a sub with frenzy like the plague... but I am not a dom, so what would I know[:D] Sinergy's strumpet Hi, yeah, so would i. i went through it too, first time i found this and i was a total nutcase! - didnt know what i wanted, how i wanted it, all i knew was that i did. but i think if you can read up about something, identify with it, then you can deal with it. might save some time and unnecessary confusion. the worst is going through something like that and thinking youre going nuts and that youre on youre own with it. lallyx

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