Why Can't People Be Honest?

Why Can't People Be Honest? (Full Version)

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Estring -> Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/14/2004 11:20:03 PM)
Yesterday I had to let go of a slave I had collared. Why? Because she had lied to me. She finally had to tell the truth because the lie had caught up to her. I won't go into what the lie was, I am just here to say, why can't people be honest? Be honest in your intentions and desires from the start. Especially if you plan on meeting in r/l. Why is this so hard to do? Dishonesty will always bite you in the ass. Unfortunately, others get bitten as well. It happens over and over. Be honest! That is always the best way.

ProDomme -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/14/2004 11:33:05 PM)
Couldn't agree more... Mean what you say, say what you mean. .. I would rather be hurt with the truth then mislead by a lie!

crystalslave -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/15/2004 12:03:13 AM)
why can't people be honest? Why is this so hard to do? Something I ask myself all the time. Like W/we won't find out? Gimme a break. Ever thought of the other person's feeling when Y/you do lie to someone? Mom always said, "treat others the way you want to be treated" and that is something my kids already know!!!

ShadowHwk -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/15/2004 5:56:02 AM)
People lie in order to get what they want. This usually backfires - in the most miserable of ways. You never get to tell JUST ONE lie. Because we are not perfect, that lie will have a flaw. To cover that flaw requires another lie, and like the first, the second is flawed as well, and before long the single lie has become a web of lies which become impossible to manage - when that happens the truth usually comes out. Say what you mean, Mean what you say, DO what you say your going to do. And of course the tried and true, but no less meaningful: The truth will set you free. ShadowHwk

Arykus -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/15/2004 8:55:35 AM)
Generally speaking, most people lie as a protective measure. There is something they are embarassed of, or view as weakness, or simply think is insufficient to a particular situation. They want to re-enforce themselves by building up strength around those weaknesses, or by hiding them alltogether. As to the "Why is it so common" - people, in general, have an inherent fear of allowing someone control over what they percieve to be their most weak points, without having a counter-control over the opposing individual. Even submissives, though often the fear in question is subterverted into a sexual excitement.

gabrielofcalgary -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/15/2004 12:56:00 PM)
On one hand, some P/people cannot handle the truth and unfortunately, non-truth is propagated through a mutual assumption. Yet, it is very important to realize that truth begins with oneself. Being honest with yourself and then it will follow through that you are honest with others. Its hard to be honest because it means not only showing your good side, but revealing your weaknesses as well. Admitting weakness is one step forward to overcoming that weakness or at least dealing with it properly.

MizSuz -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/15/2004 5:29:30 PM)
I think it's important to note that sinful omission is the same thing as a lie. Not telling at all, if the intent is to deceive, is still a lie. I know a LOT of people who play the 'I didn't lie, I just didn't tell the whole truth' game. It doesn't wash (unless you're a codependent fool). Suz

midnightrose -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/15/2004 7:18:14 PM)
In reference to honesty, we had occasion to have a sub in our home that we were considering. We knew this girl from a local group that we belonged to, and also from other friends. In the 5 days she was in our home, she ran up $166 in long distance calls, needed medication filled that we paid for, and generally took advantage of every kindness we offered her. She left our home at midnight with someone she called to come get her and we havent seen her since. She left belongings here. It left a bad taste in my mouth. She lives her life bouncing from house to house as a sub, with no marketable skills to live a real life. We found that out AFTER the fact. I realize I'm rambling, but it still pisses me off that our generosity was abused.

strictandcruel -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/16/2004 7:42:42 AM)
Good subject My ex wife/sexual submissive has a photographic memory, tell her a lie, than tell her something else ten years later she will call you on it, every time! btw she is still a very good and trusted friend. I learned a long time ago that if you always tell the truth you don't have to remember what you told whom.. I have a blunt way of posting and talking and if people can't handle the truth as I see it Oh Well! strictandcruel

trnmastr -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/16/2004 8:13:23 AM)
Most cant be honest because they are living a fantasy here online. They find out about the kink, they get horny, they make up a whole new person, they play the online game, then poof they are gone. Bottom line, never get really involved until you are in R/T with someone. William

masokissed -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/18/2004 12:18:56 PM)
If i might ref the original post... Lies are less available when we take time to get to know each other and get off the friggin net to do it. I think anyone on the net has a burn story, and even some of us who went form net to r/l. And perceptions are like assholes... what it comes down to is, we are responsible for ourselves and the impact "WE" cause to others... People, we are grown... lets act like it.. Lanette.. P.S. What i tell people is, i would rather choke on the truth, than swallow a sweet lie...

druidic -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/18/2004 5:00:02 PM)
Probably due to the fact that they don't realize it's a short tern fix to lie. Honesty is just easier. I would rather chase off a sub with who I am ,rather than play games to get someone I won't ultimately get to keep due to being dishonest. I'm a heavy Top I have wierd kinks. So I know matches for My needs will be rare. So I began honesty with not lying to MYSELF....... Gives one a sense of peace.

sub4hire -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/18/2004 6:32:28 PM)
quote: trnmastr [/quote People are'nt honest because the moral make-up of society has crumbled. People don't truly know the meaning of the word integrity. Look at the gangs. Demanding respect from the world yet they don't even respect themselves. Families of the old days have crumbled. Its only going to get worse. It is'nt only in the lifestyle its in life. Its a very rare jewel anymore to find someone who does indeed have integrity. Gloria

kashmirslave -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/19/2004 8:26:04 AM)
Hello all. This is my first post on here, but i wanted to share my "sob" story of sorts with you. I just lost someone that i considered to be my closest online friend, so close that the two of us called each other sis. We never got to meet RT but were, or so i thought, planning to one day. We were IM'ng each other daily, then she just disappeared. She was supposedly collared to a Master that lived in another state, and was supposed to be moving to be with him, but come the time that she was to move she all of a sudden had all these excuses why she couldnt go. I knew something was up but wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. One day i was in a chat room and her former Master came in, i IMd him about what had happened to her, and he told me what had happened. She is married and only comes online and lies about her whole life, she is not a sub at all and just wanting to lead ppl on. When her Master started to push her about moving there, she finally had run out of excuses, and her rl hubby made her call her Master and tell him the truth. Then instead of coming clean with me and all her other so called friends, she deletes her SN off aol without any explanation at all. Sorry for going on so long but i am still very hurt over this, she completely had me. I considered her one of my best friends. Beware who you trust ppl. [:(]

DocHolliday -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/19/2004 8:46:09 PM)
There also seems to be a ration of men on here posing as female submissives, for whatever thrill that brings. All they seek is cyber sex and shit. Man, sometimes I think the internet has done as much damage to the lifestyle as it has done good. Worse than that, I got interested in someone who seemed to be ready to do it all in real life, but I soon learned she was in it only for cyber sex. Yep, honesty is right out the window here in the new millenium.

EStrict -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/19/2004 9:39:40 PM)
Yep the horror stories are everywhere, especially online. There was a person that pretended to have a near fatal car accident to gain sympathy from everyone that knew her online. I have known people to fake deaths, make up extra names to test people, ect. Online allows for anonymity. That in turn allows for easy deceit,,,, I admit, I have been lucky. I have met many from online RL. Only a very few occassions was I mislead. Percentage wise, I am sure I hear as many or more untruths in person at the bar we go to or at any poker table (after all, no one loses) than online. But I know I am probably the minority in that. Sandy

DocHolliday -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/20/2004 2:20:20 AM)
Ya know, there's got to be something cerebrally fucked up about someone who would fake a car wreck online to get sympathy. Damn, how does someone get so secluded and become such a loser they feel the need to fake injury to get attention? Jumpin' jesus on a pogostick!

CallMeSir -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/20/2004 6:52:54 AM)
I believe that honesty is vital in this lifestyle due to the nature of it. If you can't be honest with Y/yourself and O/others then you should take a hard cold look into rather or not you should be in this lifestyle.

EStrict -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/20/2004 9:05:51 AM)
Yes Sir, it definitely is fucked up. It came to light a few weeks later when someone happened to stop by to see how she was recovering (she had given them her correct address one time and forgot). Lifestyle lying stories I know tend to have to do with looks, likes, and about being married,,, Sandy

trnmastr -> RE: Why Can't People Be Honest? (1/21/2004 7:48:36 AM)
quote: Ya know, there's got to be something cerebrally fucked up about someone who would fake a car wreck online to get sympathy. Damn, how does someone get so secluded and become such a loser they feel the need to fake injury to get attention? Jumpin' jesus on a pogostick! I got a better one for ya When in CA a sub lied about the death of her dom. She cried about how broke she was and how he had left her with all these bills and stuff. Well, the community had a fund rasier gave her the cash. About a year later, poof he reappears. LOL William

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