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BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 3:12:41 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

I see profiles stating that BDSM is a lifestyle thing where people live kink 24/7, an alternative lifestyle. And there are those that say BDSM is theirs for the sex, a place where they can let out what is in in a situation where they may have the consent to play. Sex to some not sex based to others and a whole range of shades in between.

What does it mean to you?

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

Post #: 1

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 3:45:01 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

I am just me...and do what I want...bdsm is part of it...they are not 2 worlds...

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(in reply to Aneirin)

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RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 3:45:39 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Plain jane relationship with a twist. I really don't try to overthink my kink

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 3

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 3:53:20 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
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It's taken me a long time to check out what I have always known really deep inside.
BDSM is a way of organising a sexual relationship that works for me.
I live in hope of finding a male partner that I love and who loves me and who is satisfied with the way I control the relationship. One who is not with me just because of the sexual / BDSM aspect of the relationship.
I like to be in control. because I think I'm better at it than men in general.
I'm not saying that there isn't a man out there who is better at being in authority in a relationship but I could never enter into a relationship with anyone who did not want me to be in control. Basically we would do nothing but fight for control.
I'm better at controlling when necessary and I'm better at compromising when necessary for the sake of harmony.
I don't believe that what I do which others call 'play' is half as important as a good relationship. Bondage and S/m is great fun and I love it BUT if I can't discipline a partner to make him tow the line when it is important to me then all the fun in the world will not compensate me. The reason that lots of people can't form relationships is that they have no idea that BOTH people in the relationship have to be happy. My advice is if you want things all your own way then stay single bacause then at least you won't make another person totally miserable. And if your only entering into a relationship for what the other person can give you again stay single. Your mother might still let you have all your own way but I'm not going to bacause it's not good for you and it's definietly not good for me.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 4

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 4:16:48 AM

MissMenagerie

Posts: 66
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline

It's being told "Good Girl" by someone I love and admire for doing something that I enjoyed anyway. Endorphine rushes and hair-tossling pettings....does life get better?

(in reply to lateralist1)

Post #: 5

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 5:04:17 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
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For me its just away to get me rocks off....

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Post #: 6

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 5:21:44 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

For me its just away to get me rocks off....

You said it much better than I.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 7

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 5:33:33 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
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Ai ai sailor!!

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Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

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Post #: 8

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 6:53:33 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Hmm what I think of it changes so frequantly. For me at the moment I kinda just feel that its part of who I am, I used to boggle at people who said that they couldnt go back to nilla relationships, now I find myself saying the same thing. It makes me feel that bit more alive and gives me the freedom to be me :D

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(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 9

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 6:58:24 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

Yes, BDSM gives freedom to explore and be who you/we are. Something which I believe we basically are, animals with animalistic instincts. Except we have the intelligence and imagination to explore in different directions.

Whatever controls us must be having a pretty good laugh!

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 10

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 7:21:24 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

I am in a Ds relationship, emphasis on the mental and authority/control transfer.

bdsm is one of the ways in which we can express the control and the submission to that control.

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galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 11

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 8:36:50 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I see profiles stating that BDSM is a lifestyle thing where people live kink 24/7, an alternative lifestyle. And there are those that say BDSM is theirs for the sex, a place where they can let out what is in in a situation where they may have the consent to play. Sex to some not sex based to others and a whole range of shades in between.

What does it mean to you?

A lifestyle catch-all term I unfortunately dislike—not for its literal meaning, but for the t-shirt it has become. Not that the average passerby would know the short-hand, but mention "bondage" and someone might get a very distorted image of what you really mean.

I do like the "discipline" part, however—very much. Mentioning that one is a sadist carries a less "whimsical" feel too, which is nice. Generally, "BDSM" is something that is perhaps scattered across the overall canvas of what I do, for, as with most things, there's always much more to it than that. So I suppose I find the phrase small and inadequate, if not, very general and fraught with misinterpretation.

< Message edited by amayos -- 3/9/2008 8:41:36 AM >

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 8:53:02 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

What does it mean to you?

BDSM is the play I do between me and my slaves..... M/s is the way the authority dynamic functions in my relationship between me and my slaves

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 13

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 9:37:33 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

My life is generally very quiet if not downright staid. A good weekend is a few books and a shot of bourbon; very Walter Mitty-like.
BDSM brings the fantasy to reality, a sense of danger without the need to actually jump out of an airplane! It allows me to feel a bit ‘wild’, to explore how low I can go, how high I can fly. As selfish as that sounds, it has also taught me to give and beyond that it makes me want to give more than I am comfortable with.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 14

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 9:45:14 AM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

BDSM is a convenient label for a portion of what I do when I want to be myself. Sometimes it's sexual, sometimes it's not.

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I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 15

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 9:46:17 AM

RedHotAndSoSexy

Posts: 67
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

It is what I get off on, plain and simple. I know no other way to be since this is how I am wired and have been since my earliest memories. It is not a lifestyle of any sort to me, it is just what I want and need to do in order to be sexually and emotionally satisfied.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 16

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 9:49:23 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

For me, BDSM is nothing more than an 'action'; something that people DO.

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(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 17

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 9:49:39 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

BDSM isn't the umbrella at all for me. I don't even include Ds in bdsm. For me, the umbrella is "alt lifestyle stuff" specifically under that "kinky stuff" and THEN everything else is under that umbrella, including bdsm.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1373332/mpage_1/key_bdsm/tm.htm#1373598
bdsm umbrella, or not

http://www.collarchat.com/m_794045/mpage_2/key_umbrella/tm.htm#794492
ds vs bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_616573/mpage_1/key_umbrella/tm.htm#616591
ds as bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_592203/mpage_1/key_umbrella/tm.htm#592271
watered down bdsm

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 18

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 9:50:27 AM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I see profiles stating that BDSM is a lifestyle thing where people live kink 24/7, an alternative lifestyle. And there are those that say BDSM is theirs for the sex, a place where they can let out what is in in a situation where they may have the consent to play. Sex to some not sex based to others and a whole range of shades in between.

What does it mean to you?

BDSM is the way we sometimes express our sexuality (sometimes we do not express it that way too). D/s is the foundation of our relationship and something that we live every day no matter where we are. I do not know if one can call it "24-7", but it is always there whenever we interact.

~Sinergy's strumpet~

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 19

RE: BDSM, what is it to you? - 3/9/2008 10:04:16 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

In my relationship, BDSM is some of the stuff we do not any particular orientation our relationship has.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 20

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