RE: DEAR CALI

RE: DEAR CALI (Full Version)

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CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/12/2008 7:25:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lumus Is 'blowhard' a descriptor or solid advice? Consider it a noun, not a verb. Cali

Lumus -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/13/2008 2:22:31 PM)
Dear Cali, Some recently told me, "YOU SUCK!", to which I replied, "You saw the pictures...?" with a feigned look of terror. I know, it's mocking the Oral, and you being the Oral Oracle and all, I thought you might know the right penance. The priest just walked off, shaking his head; teach him to tell me I suck...!

CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/13/2008 2:50:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lumus Some recently told me, "YOU SUCK!"... The priest just walked off... Lumus dear, it was not a statement, it was a command. He wanted you to do the deed to him. There should have been a pause, a comma in there: "You, suck!". Or even another exclamation point: "You! Suck!". See? Cali (I am sooooo going to hell for this one)

Lumus -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/13/2008 2:54:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Cali (I am sooooo going to hell for this one) .oO(Sweet...we both know you'll make it there first, you can give me directions. It's Hell, I'll call ahead on a Verizon cell phone because I love irony.)

Sundowner -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:10:53 AM)
[sm=writing.gif] Dear Cali Why do I feel lonely and insecure when I can't see you posting wise replies to ppl's problems? Confused

CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:15:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sundowner Why do I feel lonely and insecure when I can't see you posting wise replies to ppl's problems? Darlin'? Are you saying the words I post are no longer full of wisdom?? Cali (been missing you SunDude)

Sundowner -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:27:57 AM)
Sheesh - panic attack over. Hi toots [sm=smile.gif] Whilst that nice Mr Shakespeare told Mr Horatio that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in his philosophy, some things are simply not possible dear ("the words I post are no longer full of wisdom"). (And I've been reaping the whirlwind of too much work backlog as a result of spending time in CM).

CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:30:48 AM)
Well, you're not going to believe this, but I did say that blowjobs are not the answer to everything. Certainly not the answer to some dweeb that can't decide if he wants to make a date with me or not. [sm=pigsfly.gif] As of this moment, there is no emoticon for hell freezing over, so it's just pigs aflyin'. Cali

Sundowner -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:46:25 AM)
See what I mean? Pure wisdom (the dweeb thing). Is why we all respect you as well as love you kid [sm=smile.gif]

GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:48:26 AM)
Dear Cali, you rock :)

CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 1:53:02 PM)
Why thank you kindly, Miss GT. Cali

ResidentSadist -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 6:29:41 PM)
Dearest Oral Oracle, Oh wise and noble keeper of the sacred trademark for Blow Jobs®, I have always been a fan of yours and of giving or receiving oral sex. Especially those passionate and frothy 69 encounters when I can feel my entire shaft disappear down my loving slave’s throat while I bury my hand deep inside her as I lick her. Having the control to bring her to orgasm at my will and to time it so she is climaxing at the same time I do thrills me. Feeling her gag on her Master’s cock in mutual simultaneous pleasure is my favorite type of oral sex. Being jaded by a history intense oral sex and deep throats, over the years I have found that some slaves, even those with the most sincere passion for oral delights, cannot always get my modest member down their throat. I once had a very petite slave and size truly was an issue. She couldn’t receive my modest member to it's depths. Eventually, she found that a few shots of Frangelico loosened her up enough delight me fully. Through experience I found Frangelico, Ouzo, Pernod and Chartreuse also have a relaxing effect on slave type throat muscles. The problem is that recently I have met someone new that cannot get my modest member down their throat and they do not consume alcoholic beverages. It isn’t a gag reflex problem, it’s a matter overcoming her tension. It is quite frustrating for her as she is a size queen and never had this problem before. Is there anything you can suggest? Is there some special Cali Girl secret exercise you would care to share? Sincerely, He who treads in shallow waters Thanks Lumus, nice title!

GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 7:00:50 PM)
quote: while I bury my hand deep inside her pudddddle

CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 7:28:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist (deleted bragging of simultaneous orgasming) (deleted tales of liquoring up the women to have sex with them) (deleted obvious bragging of size disguised as seeking help because a woman's throat is too small for your manly man parts) Is there some special Cali Girl secret exercise you would care to share? Please refer back to post number 446 of my column. Cali

ResidentSadist -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 9:39:35 PM)
[sm=yahoo.gif][sm=tired.gif][sm=yahoo.gif][sm=tired.gif][sm=yahoo.gif] Dearest OO, You are a (sex) life saver. Thank you for sharing your sensual and pervy oral secrets. I now see a light at the end of what had previously been a very short tunnel. Your exercise routine is much better than the alternative throat replacement surgery, buying some jaws of life, doing penis reduction exercises, taking penis reduction pills or getting penis reduction surgery. Because my modest <insert copious amounts of bragging here> is as precious to me as her tiny oral cavity is to her. Someone must have torn page number 446 out of my copy of the CBJB®.(pronounced ceebee jaybee). I will help my girl put that into practice religiously now that I have a copy. I owe you one. Should find yourself teaching classes, I would gladly you pay back for your wonderful advice and volunteer as a test subject for any of your oral demonstrations. Best Wishes, A man who sees a deeper tunnel in the near future. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OO: Oral Oracle ** CBJB: Cali’s Blow Job Bible®

CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 10:53:01 PM)
You're welcome. I suppose I would have no shortage of demo models. Yes, go ahead GT, snicker cuz I said "shortage". LOL! Cali

GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 10:55:19 PM)
snicker Dear Cali... I'm a visual kind of person.. any chance I can watch you do demos?

CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:11:11 PM)
Sure GT, I'm a kinda sorta exhibitionist kinda chicky. Kinda. Cali

GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:15:40 PM)
I promise to be ..quiet....

ResidentSadist -> RE: DEAR CALI (5/20/2008 11:30:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Sure GT, I'm a kinda sorta exhibitionist kinda chicky. Kinda. Cali Kinda’… sorta’? The outgoing, ostentatiously, overt oral oracle is “kinda’”, “sorta’” exhibitionistic? ...and I'm kindaa' humble in a modest sorta' way.

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