ADD, BDSM and WIITWD

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xxblushesxx -> ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 10:57:28 AM)
Otherwise known as; if ya haveta spell it, you shouldn’t say it… There have been a lot of studies regarding left-brained, and right brained people. Basically, people who are more ‘right-brained’ use more of the right side of their brain which in turn makes them more; creative, impetuous, and more inclined to take risks. Left brained people are known for being very logical, organized and their thoughts are (supposedly) more based in reality, than those of their right-brained counterparts. This website has a quick (two second) test to determine if you are primarily right or left-brained, and has a bit of info on the characteristics that make up both kinds. There are, of course, many levels of each, and many people who are more in the middle than not. http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html ADD can sometimes mimic the effects of being primarily right-brained, such as being disorganized, being a daydreamer, and a person with ADD may engage in dangerous activities. (info culled from; http://www.webink.net/Williams-Diagnostics/character.html) When someone with a high IQ is both extremely right-brained, and has ADD, it can be difficult to do things that are considered habit by other ‘normal’ people. I fall under that category, and I do have a very difficult time making and sticking to priorities, (even when they’re important to me), being organized, (even though I have a bit of OCD, as well…so…) and keeping to any sort of schedule. Before I was with my Master, I would put off making a phone call, or sending a letter, even though just one phone call or letter would clean up whatever sort of mess I was embroiled in at the time. It was very difficult because even though on tests such as SAT’s I would score higher than most, I couldn’t seem to do the things that others took for granted. Part of the reason I was so drawn to the world of BDSM (aside from the fun kinky stuff!) is that I knew that I needed help with those things. So having a lifestyle with more structure than is the norm is good, at least for me. HoneyMaster understands that as part of my ADD, I can have a whole conversation with Him regarding my tasks for that day, and then just forget all about the things He asked me to do, as other things interfere with my attention. He makes sure to say things more than once (especially if I just woke up) and writes things down if they are very important. I’m back in school now, (which has its own set of difficulties for me), and doing well. I am nervous about going back into the working world due to the challenges I have, but, perhaps with some of the lessons I’ve learned being with HoneyMaster for the past two years, I will be able to function as most do. Perhaps I will be flamed and flambéed because I am ‘using’ Him to help me to cope. He knows I am not using Him, though. We both get certain things from this relationship. Help with this problem I have is one of the most wonderful gifts He has given me. Does anyone else find the structure within this type of relationship helpful to them, or is it harder for you? As a Dom(me), if you find yourself with someone with special challenges (Gawd I can't believe I just said that), how do you work with their strengths to help them become all it is they can be? Any suggestions that would help me be less scattered is welcome as well. I do have a very hard time sticking to a schedule, so, telling me to do something every day at 2:00 would probably not be helpful. Tyia!!

OmegaG -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:15:14 AM)
Rather then saying you are using him, I prefer to think of it as finding a symbiotic relationship. I put off filing my taxes one year (for the whole year) because I knew I was getting a refund and I simply didn't feel like doing it. In my symbiotic relationship I get the nudge that I need to do the things that I should do but just don't feel like doing them. I don't feel that I am using him any more then he utilizes my strenghts to enhance his life.

xxblushesxx -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:17:02 AM)
Ooops! Thanks for reminding me...I have to file those suckers! (I already filled them out in early Jan, and then forgot all about them!)

CuriousLord -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:26:41 AM)
[Deleted.] I hate talking about my personal life. Kinda bugged me having this up.

camille65 -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:37:43 AM)
Can people actually see that as moving counter clockwise?

OmegaG -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:49:52 AM)
I did for a brief second-- I'd stepped away from my desk and it was open and when I came back I thought I saw it going counter clockwise but when I looked back again it was going clockwise again. I wonder if it's the shadows and the angles of the leg that make someone right-brained-- it's obvious to me by the (ahhh-- can't find the word) but I can tell when her extended leg is longer-- towards the front and when it's shorter--towards the back. And the shadows also give a clue to which way she's facing.

LilMissHaven -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:51:00 AM)
I have always seen my ADHD (proper diagnoses is probably more like adHHHHHHHHd) as my issue. So, I'm constantly finding homopathic of dealing with my "disorder". I didn't rely on J much where functioning was concerned. I get personal satisfaction from seeing my problem area's and coming up with creative ways to control and even manipulate them. For instance, studying OMG! what a flippen nightmare, right? Well I learned that I can actually focus early in the mornings so I get up at 5am read my chapters and make notecards of important facts I need to know and study them religiously thru the day. The notecards make studying easier for me because I don't have all that dribble and extra words trying to garner my attention...just the facts. I've also found that studying while riding a stationary bike or walking on the treadmill have fantastic results. Being a tad bit OCD I never forget to clean, I could probably be accused of over cleaning but I have a photo album of every inch of my apartment, when the area I'm cleaning matches the photograph I don't have that urge anymore. An issue I'm still working on is making sure all my windows and doors are locked but then thats probably not too uncommon for a woman on her own for the first time.

colouredin -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:55:58 AM)
Its not for me, i dont have ADD but fayth is very scatty she says things such as "oops i forgot to listen" and mean it, you have have two hour conversations with her and all she will remember is how often someone gave her eye contact, she really needs structure, craves it actually and if i am honest Sir could probably give her more. Last time I was with them she wanted to take her littlest to story time, it started at half twelve, at quater past she started cleaning up, Sir has a little chart with things that are scaled due to importance or time critical because she really struggles on her own with it. If she wasnt so cute when shes flustered it would drive me mental.

chellekitty -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:56:18 AM)
there is a comedian who mentions a rare form of OCD called ADDOCD it is where you're constantly changing what you're obsessed about....i think that is what i have....and i don't think it is so rare...just not diagnosed...lol...but what was the point of this thread? (scrolling)....side note...in the past i have been able to make the lady switch directions back and forth, today she is only going clockwise, i can slow her down, but not go counter clockwise...i don't know what's wrong with my brain...i suppose it is weird enough that i can slow her down though... oh yea...i absolutely love that aspect of being in a relationship with structure, and it is something that i require of my Dominant...i need guidance...i have problems making descions...when i am single this is not such big problem because i am only responsible for myself and where i have to go (i don't have any children yet) but when i am in a relationship, i often get to the point of wanting to make my partner happy, but i can't read their mind, and i will freeze while trying to anticipate what needs to be done and not get anything done...if they can and will take the initiative of giving me the guidance, i can get everything in the world done...especially if they give me one task at a time or a written list of tasks to do...and like OmegaG said, i don't think of it as using him, i think of it as a symbiotic relationship...i need the guidance, he needs to guide...and i would not be in a relationship with someone who was not a natural guide, a leader, a Dominant.... does that help? did i get to the point? ooo look, shiney....... chelle edited to add: i figured out why i can't get my left side to work and get it to spin counter clockwise...i had an big electrical storm there this morning in the form of a seizure...sometimes my brain frustrates me...but i deal with it...

DesFIP -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 11:57:48 AM)
I first saw it clockwise, then blinked and it ran the other way. I'm nonhyperactive, as is my youngest, the older one has some hyperactivity. If you can't make it through school, try medication. It does work and makes life a lot easier. My son needs a day planner to figure anything out. My daughter learned early on to do everything on the computer because otherwise she would lose the work. This way, print out a second copy or send it as an email. Frequently she sends the email to the teacher before bringing the work to class. That way it's there on time, just in case. Outsource stuff. If you can't do your own taxes, use an accountant.

OmegaG -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 12:08:31 PM)
Nah, I'm to cheap to pay someone else to do my taxes, besides, I can do them, it's just not my favorite thing. I've been "diagnosed" as having ADHD by my son's social workers, they recommend that I try medication (ironically, both social workers were ADHD and medicated) they felt it was a godsend. However, I've spent 40 years without a diagnosis and in those 40 years I've found my coping mechanisms. I take jobs where there is a huge volume of multi-tasking, I've found that listening to classical music when I'm trying to sleep quiets each train of thought and in meetings or lectures I draw or write poetry to keep my mind on the speaker. I also like routines, self-inflicted or created for me.

LilMissHaven -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 12:12:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG Nah, I'm to cheap to pay someone else to do my taxes, besides, I can do them, it's just not my favorite thing. I've been "diagnosed" as having ADHD by my son's social workers, they recommend that I try medication (ironically, both social workers were ADHD and medicated) they felt it was a godsend. However, I've spent 40 years without a diagnosis and in those 40 years I've found my coping mechanisms. I take jobs where there is a huge volume of multi-tasking, I've found that listening to classical music when I'm trying to sleep quiets each train of thought and in meetings or lectures I draw or write poetry to keep my mind on the speaker. I also like routines, self-inflicted or created for me. I commend your choice to not medicate yourself. I guess my theory has always been if I cannot Master myself and my actions how the hell am I going to remember to take meds regularly?

LilMissHaven -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 12:29:28 PM)
In all fairness I should mention that I have forgotten for the last two weeks to pick up my ultra cool nerd glasses. ~sighs~ Obviously, I don't have every aspect of my life under control but I'm trying.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 12:33:14 PM)
Well, first I saw the lady as moving clockwise. Then I refreshed the page and she moved counterclockwise.. Then I refreshed again and she moved clockwise... Seeing a pattern here? Anyway, ADD.. Well, I always knew I had it. A good friend of mine went on medication about 1 1/2 ago. She told me it changed her life and wished she had it growing up, that her life would have been much different.. She kept telling me that I should go to the Dr myself and I kept planning to go...and planning to go...and planning... Fast forward a year and Michael was diagnosed with ADD and went on medication.. He said it changed his life.. I could see the results myself directly.. WOW... So I planned to go to the Dr....and planned to go... and planned to go... Well, 4 months later I finally went to an appointment.. She put me on 15 mgs of Adderal to begin with.. eh.. Then 20mg.. oooh.. Getting better.. It didn't take me all day to make my um's school lunch anymore.. I could focus on other things besides the computer... But I have a very high tolerance for medications, especially stimulants, (no need to go into explanations here.. ;) ) So I went on 30 mg.. YAY!! I could actually live my life, play with my kids for more than 10 minutes and finish a project...almost... I went to the Dr yesterday and told her that while I am ordinarily very open about my personal business, I felt like I didn't want to tell people I have ADD because I am afraid people will see it as an excuse to hide behind. The disability "du jour".. She replied, "I can see your point. Some people grow out of it.. Some can manage it.. Some need medication and maybe go for the meds as an easy way out.. But dear... You REALLY, REALLY have this thing and you aren't hiding behind it." lol xxblushesxx- Since Michael and I both have this, we are really learning to help each other stay organized and on task. But since we are on opposite coasts and both extremely busy on a daily basis it remains very hard to do and may only serve to add one more thing to an already full plate for him as I have a tendency to forget what it was that he instructed me to do the second we hang up the phone.. Once we are together for good, it will be much easier to organize our lives and help each other.. G-d how I wish I had realized I had this 30 years ago.. My life would have been so different.. I also test very high.. Got extremely high scores on my SAT's and all standardized testing my whole life.. My grades never reflected that though.. I lost jobs because of this and have been scared to start working again because I didn't want to fail again.. I'm getting my resume polished up as we speak now though!! Something tells me I will get a better result this time.. :-)

DesFIP -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 2:16:29 PM)
BSB, about being told over the phone. That or chat never worked for me. I begged him to send me an email with any instructions, and title it just that. Having one email saying Monday's Rules, or some such was so much easier. I could go back and check it without having to even read others to find it. I've always said that if it isn't written down, then it isn't happening.

Daddyslilpookie -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 3:14:30 PM)
I have ADHD and I use Paxil for it because I have severe depression. If I don't take it my mood gets all out of balance. I don't think I could without ever taking my medicine without going off the deep end hyper wise.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 4:16:52 PM)
BSB- I know I'm sensitive to people who use it as an excuse for misbehavior or not following through with their commitments. But I think it's pretty easy to tell when someone is using it as a crutch vs someone who understands it as part of who they are and works to have it NOT be noticeable or cause a difference in their behavior. I really respect that.

xxblushesxx -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 4:17:59 PM)
You all have been very helpful. Bsb...you made me cry. That is how I feel. You described perfectly, the conversations, and the total forgetting of those conversations in moments, (especially when I have just woke up. I also have a high tolerance to stimulants, and sedatives...oh hell...any kind of drug. If only I had known about it before...how different my life would be. Ah well...I hope to be able to get the help for this I need soon. It does help a bit to know that others struggle with it...and not only 'others' but, people I really look up to and enjoy reading posts from. I guess there may be help and hope after all. If anyone else can contribute to this thread, please know that I consider every contribution so far to be a precious gift, and I do thank all of you.

PsyVamp -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 4:21:38 PM)
I am so glad that I read other responses to this. I first saw that dancer go clockwise Then I saw counter clockwise Then I read the blurb about it. I'm done clicking links about brain patterns while I'm not feeling well. ;) Oh, and I don't know that I have ADD or ADHD, but I can be both the person that remembers everything or the one that misplaces something important. Lady Jag

daddysblondie -> RE: ADD, BDSM and WIITWD (3/11/2008 4:31:59 PM)
Count me into the fray. I was diagnosed ADHD about 8 years ago now. On meds, but I take a very low dose. It gets me through the times that were the roughest part of the day for me, the morning and getting out of the house on time. I crave structure. Worked for years in accounting because I was pretty good at it and the structure worked. Problem was, I'm WAY too social and even though I ran circles around my co-workers all my superiors ever saw was that I wasn't chained to my desk for 8 hours a day. Daddy has ADD as well, although interestingly, he's got some of the organizational stuff that i struggle with down. I think it works well and we end up balancing each other out pretty well. And I've found that he "gets" me better than anyone else ever has. He knows my house is a mess because I have trouble finishing a task before I get distracted and end up on the next thing. It's getting better though. Where it always seemed like it was 10 times harder for me to accomplish simple stuff that other people did easily, I've found that now that i'm not expending mass amounts of energy trying to keep myself quiet and in check at work (I've changed careers to something more ADHD friendly) I have more energy to deal with the day to day stuff. Don't worry about going back to work, just work on finding something that is going to work with your ADD and use the tricks you're using at home to help you get through the day.

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