RE: Bdsm compromise

RE: Bdsm compromise (Full Version)

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RCdc -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 9:41:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chloelicious Darcy, Point taken and respected but on the other hand: Apparently this poster does not "look" dyslexic" to me but I can be wrong. Many poster seems to have problem with: punctuation, paragraphs, syntax. There is an edit button so after reading back your post and it "sounds" odd to you, you try to correct it. At least the OP seem to read our comments (he was on the discussion file) and did'nt clear it up Yet chloé Readers please excuse me for my bad english,won't be flamed !!!!! Chloe, you rock and I appriciate your discussion.(Just so you know - I'm .dark. posting[;)]) I just wanted to clarify that I don't see the words as dyslexia, just that it seems there are learning difficulties - that could be for a number or reasons. My friend is dyslexic, as am I - although milder than theirs. Some dyslexics can read their words back to themselves and note the mistakes(i can sometimes). They just are unable to correct them. Some dyslexics write the words and it looks fine to them (like my friend) but it doesn't read well at all - in those cases you wouldn;t bother to 'check' if you think it looks ok to you, would you? And when people are on the list, just means they may have closed the window and not logged out. If you don't log out, you can remain in the last place you visited for hours - so he might not be here. It's one of those techie glitches. And as far as I'm concerned, your english rocks too - [:D] the.dark.

sabirah -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 9:51:02 AM)
To evolve takes time and communication and an open mind. I strive to learn daily. I look past the mistakes and look for the meaning that is trying to be expressed via message posted. I know that I make plenty of typing mistakes, and many proper use of language mistakes. To quote a wise person, If you don't have anything nice or helpful to say, Don't say anything at all !! So alot of times I will bite my tongue, I am not here to school anyone, just here to evolve ::smiles:: I always question the motives behind sarcasm and condencending replies.

colouredin -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 9:51:06 AM)
In regards to what .the.dark was saying, I didnt understand and worte that because I was that LB was watching the post and thought maybe he would clarify what he meant by saying yes to S&s's first post. If I am to take it that the question is about change over time in relationships I would say that all relationships evolve, i think its why we get so many "can a Master love his s type" questions because there is an assumption that when a relationship evolves into one with strong emotional bonds then BDSM will suffer. I dont agree with this and actually feel that I can only really submit once I really care about someone. My relationship is still fairly new, but it has changed, its a lot more real than it was in the beginning, which is how I like it, im not a fan of honeymoon periods I like to know what the person is like in differant moods it makes it easier to understand them I think. I also think this is linked to the idea that we are always learning all the time about ourselves which brings a lot of change into how we live our lives, if we stopped learning we would stangnate.

Chloelicious -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 9:52:15 AM)
Darcy, Thanks for explaining things I was'nt aware of, It is true that I don't know much about Dyslexia. in those cases you wouldn;t bother to 'check' if you think it looks ok to you, would you? I think I would not. Thank you for your comment about my english ,as you see I do not post in many thread excepted" polls and other stupidities". I know i can't keep a very long conversation because i'm not sure about many quote translation, Specific words ,etc but that is why I read some thread like this.to Improve my vocab. I like your answers, statement too . Chloé

Bound2One -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 9:52:37 AM)
Our relationship is fairly new, and we are evolving as we go. But as we go along I can feel my submission to him deepening and growing. I have no idea where it will be a year from now, but I do believe that healthy relationships and people are always growing.

DesFIP -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 9:54:40 AM)
I'm not sure what the word balance means here. If you're asking how the relationship has changed over the nearly five years, that's a different question.

CalifChick -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 9:56:05 AM)
FTR, I wasn't trying to be condescending, I was trying to remind the OP that, to communicate in the written form, the easiest way is to use what is classified as "simple sentences" (versus compound sentences). This OP tends to write what looks to be very passionate posts, but more often than not, people don't know what he is trying to convey. As here, people have been guessing at his intent. Cali

MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 11:03:00 AM)
Cali We both know that the proper use of language is a forgotten art.

SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 11:09:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55 Cali We both know that the proper use of language is a forgotten art. The proper use of what language? The use of language is evolving, and whilst it can be used in art, its primary purpose is communication. As a matter of fact, I find more art in language that is used improperly. I am just strange like that... I had hoped the OP would have come back to expound on his ideas which were being developed in his questions so I could have answered him. I have a great interest in how D/s relationships evolve and change, and what that means to a power exchange dynamic. If he reads this I hope he clarifies his questions so I can answer them to the best of my ability. julia

DesFIP -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 11:12:02 AM)
Hey, Chloe, you will be forgiven any lapses in English if you show up with chocolate. There used to be a chocolatier right off the Grand Place in Brussels that would make you cry from pleasure. Edited to add: Posters with language difficulties, dyslexia, ESL, LD etc get accorded better treatment traditionally if they simply add that to their sig line. We aren't mind readers and do not otherwise know when someone is suffering from a problem vs posting while under the influence.

SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 11:33:34 AM)
quote: Posters with language difficulties, dyslexia, ESL, LD etc get accorded better treatment traditionally if they simply add that to their sig line. We aren't mind readers and do not otherwise know when someone is suffering from a problem vs posting while under the influence. I have never seen anyone announce this in their sig line on this or any other message board. It might be helpful if they did, just saying I have never seen it. I do know there are several here that have such difficulties and it is pretty widely known that they do, and they are afforded some leeway by others that post here. julia

MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 11:35:04 AM)
Sin, the reason we have rules for language is to improve communications. Yes, language evolves, but it shouldn't devolve (to degenerate).

colouredin -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 11:47:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55 Sin, the reason we have rules for language is to improve communications. Yes, language evolves, but it shouldn't devolve (to degenerate). The argument was that this person has difficulty structuring posts, If this is the case then MAYBE everyone should stop drawing attention to that and stick on topic, because I certainly dont think that talking about the degeneration of the english language was the op's point.

SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 11:48:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55 Sin, the reason we have rules for language is to improve communications. Yes, language evolves, but it shouldn't devolve (to degenerate). And who decides what is efficient communication or degeneration? You or me or the mouse in the pocket? Just sayin'. I know that in some ways the ability to use formal language has lapsed in our culture... as is evidenced by the papers I read from my peers when I was at university. But I do draw the line at stating all internet speak is a grammar abomination... some of the shorthand really helps hasten the communication process. I think the OP probably does have some learning disability issues from reading many of his posts, which is an entirely separate issue from the one that we are discussing here. I do not think comments on proper grammar and syntax in regard to someone who has language usage issues to be very polite, kind, or productive. My opinion. julia PS I do not write formal English on message boards. I do not look to make sure my sentences do not run on. I do not even spell check all the time. I consider this an informal form of communication... and those who would seek to make it more formal do sort of amuse me. I will save my bestest (yes, bestest would be improper English[:D]) English when it matters. Yes, I am lazy, when it comes to message boards anyways. My first draft is usually my final one[;)] julia

CreativeDominant -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 12:01:57 PM)
If I am understanding your question correctly, then you are asking if the balance in a relationship shifts to where it is fully equal. I think in any good relationship, the balance will be on an equal level...if it is too heavily weighted to one side or the other, then the one left on the short end of the scale will begin to resent it. Does that mean that the relationship appears to be equal to those from outside? Not always...take most D/s relationships. To many vanilla people, they would appear to be weighted all on the side of the dominant getting all the good stuff because he gets "served". Of course, if some of those same vanillas were to see the BDSM play, they might think that it is more heavily weighted on the side of the submissive since she is receiving so much pleasure and the dominant's "pleasure" is often delayed. They'd be wrong in both instances but that might be how it appears. Of course, the same can be said for many "traditional" vanilla marriages in which D/s and/or BDSM is never mentioned but D/s is underlying the very foundation of the marriage...many Baptist marriages for example in which the "woman submits to the husband"...my own brother's marriage wherein he has always been the undisputed head of the household with room for discussion but not much for ongoing disagreement. I've said it before...there is inequality to be found within the equality AND equality to be found within the inequality. The relationship should always grow and evolve but the balance has to be maintained in a way that satisfies both (or more) partners.

Chloelicious -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 12:06:47 PM)
coloured We are digressing it is true but what do you want to do until Latexbaby is back to explain his toughts? DesFIP: another thread hijack lol Do you talk about Neuhaus? PS to all : Last hijjack here for me sorry to invade this place.[;)]

RCdc -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 12:20:48 PM)
OK... this is me being a meanie and a bit of a hijack. Hey julia - people are talking about incorrect language usage - know what will gets tiny bit annoying when people are lazy? When they are incapable of realising what your name is and who is actually posting - because you have a joint account.[:D] Hows that for incorrect use of language?[;)] the.dark.

SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 12:33:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant If I am understanding your question correctly, then you are asking if the balance in a relationship shifts to where it is fully equal. (I didn't want to quote the whole post, but CD, your answer was both wise and clear.) I am not currently in a relationship, but I agree with this assessment of relationships in general. I would add that in any relationship, there are going to be areas in which the "power" is on one side, and there are going to be areas in which the "power" is on the other side. That is a result of the strengths and weaknesses of the partners balancing. The evolution of a relationship is a result of the partners recognizing these strengths and weaknesses and crafting the balance around them.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 12:35:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 when in ds relationship. we talk about balanced relationships and unbalanced if you take your relationship even as unique as you might think it is to others. how would compare standards of what it was when it started to where it is now. Or if your in between doms dommes or subs or other or so on. how do you compare the growth of those you have had to the one you may have or having I went from skittish and tiptoeing along nervously in this relationship to adoring him and trusting him explicitly. Where I used to freak out and have melt downs due to my lack of trust (in him or in myself) I learned who and what I am, and what I am capable of, and have weathered through roughest storms. I'd say over time, we are a more balanced M/s relationship than we were in the beginning, because he spends his time enjoying me rather than teaching/training/disciplining me. Much less micromanagement and much more reliance on me to provide what he wants of me. And kudos to you, .the dark. for speaking up about the ridiculing posts. While some have a pet peeve about "proper English", I have a pet peeve about mocking and ridiculing.

MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Bdsm compromise (3/12/2008 12:41:03 PM)
Sin...I don't recall saying anything about internet "speak". I would agree with you that it has its place. All this, was not about internet "speak", nor about punctuation, misplaced adjectives or even syntax. I just couldn't understand the damn question. "grins". Perhaps it's just me. I don't have the time or patience to try and guess about some posts.

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