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ORIGINAL: Maya2001

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Now, in our day to day lives we help those who are physically challenged, do we not think that the same should apply to those who are mentally challenged here on the internet, forums etc. If we recognise a disability, is it not better to try and understand and help that person?

People tend to be more helpful to those with  apparent  handicaps that can be visually heard or seen where there is evidence it exists, even many people with non visible "physcial" handicaps get ostracized  and ridiculed , being referred to as fakers and lazy etc.


I don't mind helping someone who is handicapped  regardless of form ......but I may do so a couple of times and discontinue if I see they are making no efforts to help themselves, otherwise I only become an enabler and the person will find no motivation to help themself in finding ways around the obstacles life puts in front of them and they start becoming more dependant on others, and when I do offer help it is more often in the form of motivation to find ways of helping themselves,   I have found myself at times handicapped  for periods of time,  being a sole support parent I found was one very powerful motivator especially at the time when my child was a toddler and my nervous system collapsed and I found myself with multiple sclerosis type symptom and unable to walk more than a few steps and collapsing for about 5 months,  last thing I wanted was my child in foster care till I recovered so I found ways to manage  even if is meant crawling around on the floor to get from point A to point B, only asking for help on a couple of ocassions inorder to get groceries, even when I went thru major surgeries, for example my son was 3 when had abdominal surgery for cancer, I need help while I was hospitalized but 5 days later when released I resumed his care again and ran my home, because I did not have help I had to learn how to manage, I have seen others go thru similiar and need others  to do everything for them for the next month and longer even because the help was there and thiee helpers enabled them not to try to do things for themselves, causing the individual to take a lot longer to recover. So there are pitfalls in offering too much help and in what form the help is offered.   Other than in the case of severe mental retardation most handicaps are like roadblocks  one can either just sit there at the roadblock and do nothing waiting for someone to come to your aid or you can backup and turn around and find an alternate way around the road block even though the roads you may have to take will be filled with potholes, so you may not get around in perfect shape but you have made it around for example the stroke victim who at first was unable to talk but took the bumpy road going thru therapy to learn to talk again , it may not be as they were before but at least can be understood

Understanding what you are referring to .... this is more an issue of tolerance, acceptance and having empathy rather than about  helping

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ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Ok, I do understand your point, but if you were to struggle in making yourself understood on a forum or whatever, how would you feel if everyone that read your words ridiculed you and offered snide remarks rather than answering what you had asked?

May it be you shrug it off, maybe you are used to such behaviour, but what of others who watch, others who may themselves be challenged in some verbal capacity but perhaps are not so secure as to suffer abuse?

I will say that many that post here, don't seem to be the most understanding people in
the world.
I really would not expect them to change.
In fact,  many enjoy mocking and ridiculing others,
so that might cut into some of the "fun".

As a previous person stated, no one is perfect.

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ORIGINAL: MzMia

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ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Ok, I do understand your point, but if you were to struggle in making yourself understood on a forum or whatever, how would you feel if everyone that read your words ridiculed you and offered snide remarks rather than answering what you had asked?

May it be you shrug it off, maybe you are used to such behaviour, but what of others who watch, others who may themselves be challenged in some verbal capacity but perhaps are not so secure as to suffer abuse?

I will say that many that post here, don't seem to be the most understanding people in
the world.
I really would not expect them to change.
In fact,  many enjoy mocking and ridiculing others,
so that might cut into some of the "fun".

As a previous person stated, no one is perfect.
I have learned to keep many of my cards {issues, problems}
close to me.
If I feel the need to confide, I do it on an individual basis.

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ORIGINAL: Muttling

I'm sorry, but my ADD won't let me read all of......

oh look, a bunny!!!!!