Profiles vs. Journals (Full Version)

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tsatske -> Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 1:43:44 PM)

I like reading the profiles. I often click on the ones that come up automatically on the front page, often click on the ones that go with posts in the forums, usually click on any that have recently viewed mine.
Put whatever you want to say about yourself in your profile. The only thing I question is a particular and, to my mind, strange, pairing that I seem to see on female sub profiles quite often.
A profile that reads something like - I am a slut/whore for use by men. I need a firm hand, I despise soft weak 'men' who show mercy or pity to a useless pig like me. I need strong, merciless 24/7 torment and use, I need to be held down by YOU in my proper place. I need to find my place immediately! write me, men, show me your dominance so that I can come serve you at your feet! I have no limits! I want only the hardest use!
Followed by a journal that says something like - "Why do men keep writing me with letters that start out 'On your knees, bitch!' Do you really expect me to answer that? Would you want to be spoken to like that by a complete stranger? Don't none of the Doms on here have any basic respect and manners?'
Okay - we have lots of threads on here asking where all the clueless Doms come from, but, where are these subs coming from? Do they really not have a clue why men like that, are writing them letters like that?
That's my contribution to the humor of the forums for today.




kittinSol -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 1:48:57 PM)

I understand how such contradictions can be annoying, but the best way to deal with them is to look the other way.




colouredin -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 1:50:16 PM)

dammit is that why

*toddles off to get rid of the line "im a slut use me use me" from my profile




Lumus -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 1:53:52 PM)

*loads up his editor to create a jpeg copy of his profile; scrawls over the writing with what appears to be crayon scribbles; writes with the same crayon motif in the space below*

I wan foode.

*enters in his journal*

"Do not feed the Dom!"  ~ abdi






OmegaG -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 1:56:07 PM)

Though I am not in their shoes, I can speculate...

I've dated men who I lost respect for because they would let me push and push and push at them and they would always cave.  I didn't understand for the longest time (or couldn't articulate) what I needed.  I knew that I didn't want to be with a passive man or a pushover, I wanted someone who I wouldn't desire to be bratty and push the bounds.

That didn't mean that I wanted some troglodyte to bully me into a subservient possition either, I still wanted a person who could speak and act respectfully, being mindful that I had a brain and I was a strong individual.  As an aside-- hooking up with someone who has the desire to be in control but feels somewhat threatened or inferiour to the woman he is with is just the makings of disaster.

So I would bet that they are still trying to articulate what it is that they desire.  They want the firm hand but they want that hand to be attached to a gentleman who can guide the relationship wisely and who has the self confidence not to have insecurities or not let them affect his interactions with others.  They want a strong personality, a man who is assertive and decisive, but they are still working on the words to describe such a man.

But I'm still working on putting my abstract thoughts into words yet, so maybe I'm not making sense either.

I know that at one point years ago, I said that I wanted a man who would "put me in my place" that was wrong, for I got it and it wasn't right.




SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 2:06:43 PM)

The "edit profile" button is my friend. If I sense that things are not working the way I'd like to see them work, I will change my profile so that it better reflects my feelings and desires. As I am fairly new to the BDSM world, I am still discovering myself. I may at one time have thought I wanted total power exchange, at another that I wanted another certain type of dynamic. Right now I am not sure what to call the dynamic I want, so I am trying to just be me.




Sweet1Maybe4U -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 2:12:40 PM)

*feeds snickerdoodles to Lumus..

*runs way reeeeeally fast[8D]




subtee -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 2:41:04 PM)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I




GreedyTop -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:13:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I


and we love every one of you, tee :)




Justme696 -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:13:36 PM)

the journal for me..is more like  " a moment"/"a thought"/"random crap"/"ideas"
The profile...more...an advertisement  lol..more general
they can contradict eachother for sure...




SteelofUtah -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:26:28 PM)

See I put my life concepts in my Journal and I put who I am and what in the Profile.

I know EXACTLY the kind of thing you are talking about. You give them what they are asking for and the BITCH about getting is.

I am sorry if you purposly push someone, then at least this someone will leave. I will not stay where I am not wanted. I am NOT gunna force anyone to do anything either the choose to or the choose NOT too. I make it pure and simple Obey or Leave. Now the time before the collar this is where I make the want to serve me stronger than the want to leave me.

As Always

Steel




softness -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:29:41 PM)

I use my profile as my "mission statement" ... i use my journal like a blog

Most people are so bored by the end of my profile ... or confused by the polysyllabic words .. that they lose the will to live by the time they get to my journal.

I write my journal mostly for me ... and my profile mostly for other people ... writing helps me to clarify my thoughts ... so sometimes my journal may contradict things that I believe in clearer moments.




Lumus -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:35:34 PM)

I definitely look at softness' profile for the...

err...

...polysyllabic words.





Hippiekinkster -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:36:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

the journal for me..is more like  " a moment"/"a thought"/"random crap"/"ideas"
The profile...more...an advertisement  lol..more general
they can contradict eachother for sure...
Pretty much for me, too. Although I have just started with my journal here, I have been doing something similar for a  few months; writing something as a draft in my email, and just sticking it away, as a way to examine my thought and feelings at a later date.

An exorcism, if you will.




softness -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:37:46 PM)

well as an outstanding teaher of English ... I am aware that boys do just like to "look a the pictures"

so ... feel free to continue to look at my polysyllabic words




Missokyst -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 3:43:14 PM)

LMAO.. yeah, that is funny.
Kyst




Prinsexx -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 4:56:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
As an aside-- hooking up with someone who has the desire to be in control but feels somewhat threatened or inferiour to the woman he is with is just the makings of disaster.



as a further aside, and at this moment in time i couldn't agree more....




Real_Trouble -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 5:45:26 PM)

Well, it's laughable in the extreme if they don't understand why they attract that kind of response.

Though, to be fair, on average people are remarkably poor at communicating, so I expect all kinds of asinine nonsense from all corners; if humans are involved, expect stupid to happen at some point.  I am rarely disappointed.




SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 6:01:01 PM)

I wonder that any profile attracts the people it is meant to attract. I wonder if anyone actually reads profiles. For instance, when I state that I'm concentrating on those who are geographically local to me, why do I get messages from Doms who live across the country from me? I even removed the "willing to relocate" from my profile.

I put things in my journal regarding my "journey" into byis wonderful world of BDSM




Ebonybbw -> RE: Profiles vs. Journals (3/12/2008 6:05:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

the journal for me..is more like  " a moment"/"a thought"/"random crap"/"ideas"
The profile...more...an advertisement  lol..more general
they can contradict eachother for sure...


I agree with Justme... My journal is feedback off of some im or email I received.  It's my thoughts and feelings at the time... my response mostly because someone has pissed me off.  I use it to give insight regarding who I am as a person... You may see a person evolving through my journal because I am growing within the lifestyle as I learn more abut myself...  The profile, hell, I need to go back and read it... shhhhh... not sure what I have there   :)




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