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Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 1:48:59 PM

WithGratitude

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline

Again...to all those who took the time to respond a giant THANK YOU. I am feeling much better......

To update you and answer some of your questions.....

Firstly, no he did not come out and tell me outright.....I noticed dissimilarites in his main profile pict and and others he posted early on but did not say anything because quite frankly who would ever think some one would post a phony pict...? As many of you said...why post one at all if you are protecting your job... Now come to learn, this type of thing happens all the time in this world....who knew..!?! After a bit of time, I made a flip comment about one of the many things that didn't match....and he initially had the nerve to turn it back around on me and say I was going into some "typical" new sub stage of picking on him and looking for a way to back out of what was developing out of my fear.....UG! and GRRRRR!! The the next morning he owned up to it all because I obviously was going to find out the truth down the line soon enough....

After reading all your responses...and some of the really bad stories of things that happened to others for being too trusting...I spent a REALLY bad weekend thinking how stupid I was for being so naive and I had moments of real fear for my safety thinking this guy could quite possibly be a total loony toon and come an hunt me down...Not a good feeling at all....and truthfully the only thing that gave me any solice was the fact that I have a very protective dog and a very real hand gun at home...plus some martial arts training!!

So after the weekend passed.....and I had a more clear out look on things stemming from your great advice which was mainly for me to run not walk away.....he did finally send a picture of himself.......and it didn't really matter at that point what he looked like because the trust I had was completely broken.....so that is what I told him...and that is where it stands....

So the search continues....now I will go into it all with extreme caution....as one of you said "trust but verify"....

This was a good lesson learned for me and thankfully early on......Again I do appreciate all of your support and words...that too was a great thing to come out of this...knowing there is a community out there to connect with if things get muddled......

~WithGratitude

< Message edited by WithGratitude -- 3/12/2008 2:22:11 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 2:06:02 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Personally, if someone's profile pic is too nice and they don't have any other normal shots, I tend to question whether or not they are real. Just years of perving pics talking.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 2

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 2:09:10 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

if that is your real picture, and you are what you talk about on your profile, you will have plenty sniffing around anyhow, long term.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 3

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 2:14:45 PM

KevinS

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

Sadly, the norm for me is to suspect just about anything and everything at this point.
Is cynical, but after a long time around this stuff, I've seen way too many very hopeful people fall for people who are equally hopeful that "once the click happens, those other things won't really matter".

Whether it's a real pic, whether someone is actually male/female/TG, whether their weight or appearance or age is being misrepresented, if they're married or involved and presenting themselves otherwise. I've been burned on all of those, and more, many many times.

Is one of the primary reasons that if someone won't move to phone/cam very quickly, then meeting rapidly after that, I simply won't invest the time, or the emotion.

_____________________________

"If one man wants another man dead badly enough, he'll find a way to kill him.
If he happens to be wealthy and psychotic, then this poses less problems than it would for most people."
- John Brizzolara

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 4

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 2:26:41 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

(Is this a real tie, on your avatar :-) ?

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(in reply to KevinS)

Post #: 5

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 2:50:04 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

I agree with Ron..... I would suggest you learn the block function, quick!
Unless of course it is I who emails you..:)

Jeff

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 6

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 2:58:22 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Soooo....I have to know. Was he fugly?

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Post #: 7

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 3:17:50 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

lolol..... you are soooooooooo shallow..:)

Jeff

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 8

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 3:20:12 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Oh come on...you can't tell me that you didn't wonder too.

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Post #: 9

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 3:36:09 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Well a little, I am still suprised some one would send a fake pic and then meet you.
He hoped she wouldn't notice?....lol
My pics may be the BEST I have ever taken....... but they are at least me..:)

Jeff

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 10

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 3:47:39 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KevinS

Sadly, the norm for me is to suspect just about anything and everything at this point.
Is cynical, but after a long time around this stuff, I've seen way too many very hopeful people fall for people who are equally hopeful that "once the click happens, those other things won't really matter".

Whether it's a real pic, whether someone is actually male/female/TG, whether their weight or appearance or age is being misrepresented, if they're married or involved and presenting themselves otherwise. I've been burned on all of those, and more, many many times.

Is one of the primary reasons that if someone won't move to phone/cam very quickly, then meeting rapidly after that, I simply won't invest the time, or the emotion.

HEY!! I know you!! *hugs* how are you?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to KevinS)

Post #: 11

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 4:26:21 PM

SubbieOnWheels

Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WithGratitude
So after the weekend passed.....and I had a more clear out look on things stemming from your great advice which was mainly for me to run not walk away.....he did finally send a picture of himself.......and it didn't really matter at that point what he looked like because the trust I had was completely broken.....so that is what I told him...and that is where it stands....

It's good that at that point you were able to say to yourself, "OK. I can walk away, and it doesn't make a bit of difference." You were able to walk away without looking back.

Now you can look forward ...

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 12

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 4:40:22 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Did he recognize your leg, or did you let it slip somehow?

sorry...snarky moment.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 13

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/12/2008 5:49:56 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

I'm glad the drama is over for you. Learn and move on ...

I do have to know - if he had sent the real picture, would you have continued talking with him? Did he have a reason to be so insecure?

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 14

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/13/2008 6:51:18 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Totally coming to this late....but I guess I understand a little of why some folks ask if it is really MY picture.... though I continue to say DUH if the pic was fake, wouldn't I have chosen someone young and beautiful?

The internets can suck in a big way, and they can make us our own worst enemy. Try to remain open, and if you want a good example of pics, look at Aileen's.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Bound2One)

Post #: 15

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/13/2008 6:55:07 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 16

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/13/2008 7:04:39 AM

subJuneJM696

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

Glad to read you choose the right way! It's a lesson you will not forget and in the future you will be more carefull when you meet a new person on your journey..thanks for the update, i enjoyed reading it as i was following your post.

greets june

_____________________________

~ Owned by Justme696 ~

Anais Nin:
I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 17

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/13/2008 7:39:48 AM

trusting

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline

i am glad that you spent some time sorting your thoughts on this issue! sounds like you done the very best thing... done away with Him!

_____________________________

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." -Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to WithGratitude)

Post #: 18

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/13/2008 9:27:25 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Mmmm so thats what Im doing wrong. I need to sign Jefffs name to everything.

(in reply to trusting)

Post #: 19

RE: Confused and sad...update... - 3/13/2008 11:35:28 AM

KevinS

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

hi there GreedyTop - long time no see. I'll drop you mail in your account.

kittinSol - tis indeed a real tie. I thought about photoshopping a ...larger tie on, but figured would be false advertising.
(ps - is a GREAT tie, esp with that khaki suit. Was a perfect outfit for working on a Summers day in London).

_____________________________

"If one man wants another man dead badly enough, he'll find a way to kill him.
If he happens to be wealthy and psychotic, then this poses less problems than it would for most people."
- John Brizzolara

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 20

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