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Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 9:19:28 AM   
schiava


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/25/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings Aall,

Has been a while since a girl's been here.. slowly getting back into the swing of things, as the saying goes. Over the last few months, many changes and lessons have occurred with me, which brings me to my thought/question. Have been wondering lately, and am interested in hearing Oothers' opinions on this: Is it possible for a girls' submissiveness to outweigh/overshadow a Mans' Dominance and if so, what does that say about Tthem, respectively?
Thank Yyou for Yyour thoughts, in advance.

Blessings to Aall
~schiava
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 9:31:56 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: schiava
Is it possible for a girls' submissiveness to outweigh/overshadow a Mans' Dominance and if so, what does that say about Tthem, respectively?
Thank Yyou for Yyour thoughts, in advance.

Blessings to Aall
~schiava

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "overshadow" or "outweigh"? Can you be more specific or elaborate?

But, vaguely, it would mean that they aren't compatible in terms of where they want to go or what they get out of in relationships. Styles of dominances, levels of dominance in day to day activities all vary greatly from person to person. You have to find what works for you.

(in reply to schiava)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 11:41:26 AM   
Awakener


Posts: 88
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think you are saying that you wish to be taken further than you think he will go. This is common enough in my expeience.
What you should do I really don't know. How much have you discussed this with each other. I think more info would better allow peole to respond.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 11:45:50 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I would only let a submissive overshadow me, if I forgot to bring sunscreen and as far as outweighing me, It's because I now drink Lite Beer these days.

Quite Frankly, I think the answer to your question is "yes", but I also think that if this were the case the D/s relationship would not be a good one.

Just my .02, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 2:59:28 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Have been wondering lately, and am interested in hearing Oothers' opinions on this: Is it possible for a girls' submissiveness to outweigh/overshadow a Mans' Dominance and if so, what does that say about Tthem, respectively?


Several have tried to decipher without any input from you. So, here goes my feeble attempt.

Sounds to me like a couple I am mentoring right now. Man and woman..married 30 year's. Woman find the internet and wants to be submissive. She has been submissive for the last 30 year's to her husband they just had no name for it.
However, when it comes to spanking her or playing he just isn't real interested yet.
They have been taken here and there, even allowed to participate in scenes now and then. She loves it and wants to go home to much more. While he has a lacklustre attitude still.
Is this anything remotely like you are trying to say?
If so all you can do is learn and chat...hope and pray you become compatible. Find something the other likes or at least wants to try with some level of passion.

(in reply to schiava)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 4:51:29 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I wish you all the best..really communicate, it does wonders.
hope it works out,
jenny

(in reply to schiava)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 5:38:52 PM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline
quote:

I would only let a submissive overshadow me, if I forgot to bring sunscreen and as far as outweighing me, It's because I now drink Lite Beer these days.


Lmmfao! Fastlane, you're too damned funny! lol that was a good one!

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Just a thought.... - 9/26/2005 8:39:11 PM   
schiava


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/25/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings once more... Thank Yyou Aall for Yyour responses; i apologize for the lack of information on the subject, however, was done rather intentionally, if ignorantly.... the situation made sense to me so i narrowed it down into a nutshell without thinking of the incoherence it would have for Oothers.
There have been a few circumstances, meetings that i've had with Others, where online.. all was well, Wwe seemed to click and mesh well together. Then Wwe meet and it all falls apart. The Dominance, control and guidance that was exhibited online is not there in person; yet i am still me... only more lost than ever before without the guidance and such that was expected. This has happened in a more "long-term" type of situation as well, not just in meetings here and there.
Yes, i should have realized and done something sooner, i know this now and the reasons behind why i didn't are irrelevant.. live and learn.
*laughs* Will keep the sunscreen handy, thank You for the advice, Sir.

Hope this clears up some of the confusion and again, thank Yyou for Yyour replies.
Blessings,
~schiava

(in reply to RainGod)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/27/2005 5:10:39 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: schiava
This has happened in a more "long-term" type of situation as well, not just in meetings here and there.

Thisi s common in both doms and subs. Plenty of both are always floating aroung talking about how the other person ended up not being a "real dom" or "real sub" in the end. But that's what the dating process is- seeing if you REALLY will work together long term and sharpening your skills so you can get better at screening people out.

You've discovered that most people aren't a good fit for you in the long term...that's a good thing. If you want to get into why a lot of dominants fall off the charts, it could be that dominance for them is a role or play thing and over the long term does not appeal to them. I've also seen a few burn out after a few months (you see that a lot "taking a break from the scene") And there is just as often the needy clingy sub who constantly wants more dominance, more control and the dom just doesn't have the time or energy to be sucked dry emotionally like that.

It all comes down to compatibility.

(in reply to schiava)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/27/2005 5:47:22 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awakener

I think you are saying that you wish to be taken further than you think he will go. This is common enough in my expeience.

That sounds like it to me, as well....

The "need" varies from one to the next and, ideally, we find a partner with a matching level of need. For instance, a sub seeking to be dominated only in the bedroom, so to speak, is of no use to me.... Equally, a sub who wants all manner or combination of more extreme or no limit play, especially sharing partners, probably won't be happy with me, either!

But it's hardly a scale of hierarchy, either! I'm very comfortable with who I am and a sub who's ideal "depth" matches my own is the sub who tops *my* scale of desirability. So I don't think you "outweigh/overshadow" a Dom who can't satisfy your thirst, it's merely that you're not compatible....

Focus51.

(in reply to Awakener)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Just a thought.... - 9/27/2005 5:07:43 PM   
schiava


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/25/2004
Status: offline 		Thank Yyou Aall for Yyour responses and posts.
~schiava

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Just a thought.... - 9/27/2005 10:18:51 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Consider this; the Dom may not want to 'overpower' you on a first meeting. He too is trying to learn who you really are and what yoiu really want. Many times a Sub is scared off by a Dom being too forceful on a first meeting so they may well be tempering their Dominance somewhat to try to not frighten a prospective Sub.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to schiava)
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RE: Just a thought.... - 9/28/2005 12:07:11 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

Consider this; the Dom may not want to 'overpower' you on a first meeting. He too is trying to learn who you really are and what yoiu really want. Many times a Sub is scared off by a Dom being too forceful on a first meeting so they may well be tempering their Dominance somewhat to try to not frighten a prospective Sub.[/font][/size][/color]


In initial dating, either kink or vanilla but particularly vanilla, I tried to keep my natural dominance throttled way back so I don't overpower someone who is still trying to decide.

What was really funny was back when I was in NYC I had a date with a woman who I met in vanilla circles, dated once and gently rebuffed my request for a second date. I didn't give it much thought until almost a year later when I discovered Carol, one of my play partners, knew her. Carol then asked her if she remembered the date. She did and confessed that she hadn't been interested because I seemed "too passive." When Carol relayed the information to me we had a good laugh.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 13
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