RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills

RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

CalifChick -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 1:54:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Actually I much prefer the bitchin that goes on after 1 email. I'm like get real folks. I swear if i read block ignore del one more fucking time I'm gonna shoot cali. Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy now!!! Cali (wonders if "shoot" suddenly took on a new meaning)

SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 2:09:01 PM)
quote: I was talking to a Dom and it all crashed and burned. Basically instead of asking questions to be sure we were on the same page, he just assumed he knew everything. We'd only talked maybe 5 times before then for maybe 20 minutes each time, so it wasn't like we knew each other for very long, but suddenly he was declaring that my pussy, ass, and mouth belonged to him despite us NEVER agreeing to such a thing. Much later (after trying to resolve the problem logically) when I told him he seemed to lack communication skills since he never asked, we never agreed, he never said anything about it until then, he basically told me he doesn't hold any blame and it isn't his fault. I wanted to point out when it became your fault and not his anymore... when you did not IMMEDIATELY end the conversation when he stated that any part of your person or anatomy belonged to him after just a handful of conversations. Any sort of arguing, discussion, or compromise after he stated those things that led to any sort of angst or feelings of inadequacy are on your doorstep. You lack boundaries sweetie, and that isn't his fault, it is your own. julia

domiguy -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 2:20:21 PM)
Use better judgment...It is always the other person's fault. The reality is you probably deserve no better than you have received. In fact I would venture to say that most of the Doms that you have made contact with would agree that you had outkicked your coverage.

SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 2:21:57 PM)
quote: The reality is you probably deserve no better than you have received. Or how I like to say, we deserve what we will tolerate... julia

yellowseeksred -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 2:30:19 PM)
Some were helpful, some made me laugh and forget it, and some irritated me. Thanks regardless. I especially liked the smart ass comments. I'm sure I deserved being insulted regardless of being careful what I was doing.

domiguy -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 2:35:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yellowseeksred Some were helpful, some made me laugh and forget it, and some irritated me. Thanks regardless. I especially liked the smart ass comments. I'm sure I deserved being insulted regardless of being careful what I was doing. You have taked to about 50 Doms since joining 1/30/08 ...I don't know what to say....I guess it depends on what "talking" exactly means. Either way, it also depends on your definition of "being careful"....What does "safe sex" mean? My definition is that I leave no living witnesses....To each their own.

Jeffff -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 2:44:08 PM)
Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks? (Domi!) You're damn right yellow?. the world is full of wierdos and losers. most of then come here..:) why don't you slow down and follow L.A.'s 6 month rule? Jeff

SinergyNstrumpet -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 2:44:37 PM)
quote: I especially liked the smart ass comments. I'm sure I deserved being insulted regardless of being careful what I was doing. Believe it or not I was attempting to be helpful... you only get what you will tolerate... seriously. If you do not like the way you are being treated, stand up for yourself and don't accept it. No one is going to hold our hand in life and make people treat us correctly, if you do not set your boundaries sooner rather than later, I really fear for you. People who do not make good boundaries for themselves usually are walked on or worse. Now you may find that irritating or smart assed of me to say, but hey, if what you were doing was working for you I would think you would not be posting here. I sincerely and honestly hope it doesn't take someone that will ignore your limits, abuse you, and use you to teach you these things. julia

lronitulstahp -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 4:19:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks? (Domi!) You're damn right yellow?. the world is full of wierdos and losers. most of then come here..:) why don't you slow down and follow L.A.'s 6 month rule? Jeff Where have YOU been??? EVERYBODY knows that Ron is shaft....Domi can be Superfly, Sweetback, or Blackula or someother guy...but Shaft...only RON!!! i have proof... http://www.collarchat.com/m_1679539/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#1679751

TreasureKY -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 4:24:33 PM)
Julia is spot on with her comments, yellow. No one is trying to be mean to you... only to point out areas where you might need to re-think your own actions. You are submissive and on this site, that makes you prey... whether you want to be or not. Add the fact that you are young and new, and you might as well paint a target on your back. My advice is two-fold; first, seriously consider Julia's advice. Then, remember that communication is a two-way street. If you have had that many dominants all making the same assumptions, you might want to consider changing your communication tactics. Make it clear from the very first what your expectations are for communicating with a prospective dom. You needn't sound bossy or controlling... just politely make it known what you would like. And be prepared to walk away should your boundaries be ignored.

CalifChick -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 4:28:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY Add the fact that you are young and new, and you might as well paint a target on your back. Ahem... Treasure sweetness? The target goes on the ASS, not the back. I'm just sayin'. Cali (just making sure when she gets poked, it's in the right place, cuz I'm helpful like that)

TreasureKY -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 4:51:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY Add the fact that you are young and new, and you might as well paint a target on your back. Ahem... Treasure sweetness? The target goes on the ASS, not the back. I'm just sayin'. Cali (just making sure when she gets poked, it's in the right place, cuz I'm helpful like that) lol... Ooops. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s1.gif[/image] You are so right, Cali... I don't know where my mind was when I wrote that. Obviously not in the right place. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s4.gif[/image]

Leatherist -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 5:36:31 PM)
You get what you put up with. Only a twit expects someone else to make up thier minds for them.

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 6:05:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yellowseeksred I'm so sick of this passive agressive bullshite. I'd say I've talked to 50 Doms on this website since I became a member and I'd say 40 of them acted exactly how he acted. I'm not saying I blame him for anything, but I was very careful to not agree to anything because I barely knew him and suddenly I 'belong' to him. Blame and reality are two very different things. As others have said, you're always going to find a few weeds among the flowers. We don't all assume we know everything or that you're "my slutty bitch" after talking for 20 minutes. Keep contacting Doms whose profiles look interesting. I imagine as you get more experience in communicating on this site you'll be able pretty quickly to tell if a particular Dominant is or is not right for you. Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 7:33:34 PM)
FR Keep your expectations low, if not non existent until solid reason is given to feel otherwise. This way you'll be open and happily surprised when someone decent is around.

domahpet -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 7:41:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Yeah, that should have told you something right there. ONLY two hours over FIVE convos??? Sheesh. When you hit two hours PER convo and THEN it goes bad, cmon and bitch about it. LOL. Cali Actually I much prefer the bitchin that goes on after 1 email. I'm like get real folks. I swear if i read block ignore del one more fucking time I'm gonna shoot cali. BadOne [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif] dont shoot cali! oh god that made me laugh tho!

SailingBum -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 8:37:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domahpet quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Yeah, that should have told you something right there. ONLY two hours over FIVE convos??? Sheesh. When you hit two hours PER convo and THEN it goes bad, cmon and bitch about it. LOL. Cali Actually I much prefer the bitchin that goes on after 1 email. I'm like get real folks. I swear if i read block ignore del one more fucking time I'm gonna shoot cali. BadOne [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif] dont shoot cali! oh god that made me laugh tho! Do you see the shit us doms gotta put up??? all these backtalking bitches. Where is my fucking del knob. BadOne

CalifChick -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 8:40:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Do you see the shit us doms gotta put up??? all these backtalking bitches. Where is my fucking del knob. Oh, Big Bad One... Don't worry, not only did I keep the love notes you sent me on the other side, but I printed them out and laminated them for posterity. Cali

LotusSong -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 8:43:48 PM)
Things will go smoother the more emotionally mature you become.. give yourself time. This is a time where you pay your dues and learn.

SailingBum -> RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communication skills (3/13/2008 8:48:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Oh, Big Bad One... Don't worry, not only did I keep the love notes you sent me on the other side, but I printed them out and laminated them for posterity. Cali I see how you are I'm nice to you in one of your weak moments....and now yer blackmaleing me..thats it no more MisterFuckingNiceGuy

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125