Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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And remember it is not duck tape and is not meant for use on ducks.
I fix big TVs, some of them have picture tubes and some do not. Well, I got one these exclusive websites and heard of a customer who broke the neck off their picture tube and taped it back together with duct tape. Thus I had to write this.
_________________________________________________________
From:
Duct tape R us.
To: John Doe
Dear Sir;
We here at Ducttape R us would like to apologize for any inconvenience our product may have caused you. We would like to point out however, that in none of the many many manuals availble for the use of our product, none mention the repair of a television picture tube.
Here at Ducttape R us product improvement is first and foremost, so we have a team of engineers, and a neurosurgeon working on the problem right now. Again we apologize for any inconvenience. We will surely contact you when this problem is solved, as well as hold a press release.
Rest assured that our product line is sound. You can still use it to fix your transmission, water tank, Ford, anything on a house trailer, TV antennas and even shoes. (TVs have shoes ? I caught it but I decided to leave it)
New Product news ------------------- bulletin
We at Ducttape R us have doubled our previous product lline to an unprecedented 2 (two) products !
We now have a coathanger department. Field testing has shown that our duct tape along with coat hangers are much more versatile than duct tape alone.
For example, now you can not only fix your transmission, you can do body work. Not only can you fix your roof, with this new breakthrough you can fix your gutters as well. We predict many good things for this new technology, our engineers agree. There are applications in plumbing and electrical, even carpentry.
And a quick FYI, out west, just down the road from Area 51 we have a secret research facility and it is not secret anymore. In a hermetically sealed environmental bubble, our chief scientist works tirelessly to make our dream project come true. To reduce lumber costs on new home construction, save some trees.
He is very dedicated and drinks 170 pots of coffee a day. He has it down to two 2 X 4 s and thirty rolls of duct tape, and about 71 coathangers. In the search for excellence though, he does not want to release it as of yet. He says "It is not leaving my lab until it is perfect".
In other product news all references to the use of duct tape in bank robberies have been removed from any semi-official manual. We would not like to see our product used that way, much, and the government was knocking at the door. So in the public interest, please do not rob banks with our product.
Thank you for your support.
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I just couldn't resist.
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I just coudn't resist - duct tape - 
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