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ownedgirlie -> RE: My Master and Other Girls (3/13/2008 8:43:07 PM)
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Your feelings very much matter, whether you are a girlfriend, wife, slave, submissive, lover, or whatever. Your feelings are your feelings and they affect your inner essence.
Having said that, it's awesome you both are talking about this. I had the same concerns as you did, as a matter of fact. I had a really hard time knowing my Master wanted to not just fuck but dominate and own other girls. What it all boiled down to for me in the long run are three things:
1. Nobody can affect my relationship with him but me. Nothing ever changed with us. I still had the same amount of time with him. I still had the same level of attention. I still had the same level of dominance and was still valued.
2. I became totally and absolutely secure in my place with him. I not only just believed I was valued because he said I was, but I felt it (and still do). No outside forces was seen as a threat to my place with him when I came to really trust in and know how much he values me.
3. I came to want for him what he wants. In other words, and as cheesy as it sounds, when he is happy, I am happy. Just to know he is content and satisfied rocks my world, no matter where he is finding that satisfaction. Coming to that point allowed me to not only accept this aspect about him, but support and encourage it. It took me about three years to be able to do that.
The other thing is, you have a history with him now, and a connection. I found once a bond has been developed, if I keep doing what I'm supposed to do, the bond continues to grow, not weaken. I have seen girls come and go while I have remained. You might end up seeing the same. With me, it's not a case of not being good enough for him, it's a case of his personality type finding fulfillment in what a variety of submissives can offer. He enjoys submissive girls, and he enjoys leading and teaching. I found when I reached a point of supporting and encouraging that, our bond grew even stronger.
The degree of effort this requires differs from person to person. Some people can accept outside activities without any problem at all. Some people do not accept it as is their choice from the start. I wanted to accept it, but really struggled for awhile. It seems your fear is similar to what mine was - that an emotional connection might be developed between him and others. Once I realized that even if one did, my connection was not in any way negatively altered, I could breathe easily and drop my concerns.
That he is open with you and you are able to voice your thoughts is encouraging. Only you can decide if you want to make this work. In my case, I did want to, and I did learn to accept it. It was probably my most difficult challenge over the years. I wish you well.
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