RE: Part-Time Master? (Full Version)

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MissHarlet -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 8:17:56 PM)

I think that the negotiated relationship has changed and should be renegotiated or ended ...  You basically have three options as I see it.   Accept the new terms .. renegotiate it .. or walk away from it.

My advice is " dont make a priority of anyone that makes you an option"



SteelofUtah -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 8:21:18 PM)

I like that quote I think I will steal it.

And I fully agree



Maestro66babycak -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 8:28:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

I think that the negotiated relationship has changed and should be renegotiated or ended ...  You basically have three options as I see it.   Accept the new terms .. renegotiate it .. or walk away from it.

My advice is " dont make a priority of anyone that makes you an option"



He refuses to negotiate. He says that I am topping from the bottom when I try to ask questions and hesays that I am being manipulative when I ask for more time with him.

I have been trying to think of that quote all day today , thank you Ma'am.



MissHarlet -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 8:42:37 PM)

IF he refuses to renegotiate then as I see it you have 2 choices .. stay and accept it as it now is .. or  walk away ......

Edited to say the quote in my previous post was paraphrased from the quote used by SwtnSparkling......I stole it from her ......lol



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 8:44:43 PM)

Since he's been cheating, I think you should dump him. It doesn't matter that he's the master and you're the slave. Him playing with others without your knowledge is cheating. After you dump him, go see your doctor asap and don't engage in any unprotected sex (oral or intercourse) with a new partner until you have been cleared of all std's.  Curable std's should show up within a couple of months. HIV can take up to a year according to my gynecologist.  



Maestro66babycak -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 8:47:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Since he's been cheating, I think you should dump him. It doesn't matter that he's the master and you're the slave. Him playing with others without your knowledge is cheating. After you dump him, go see your doctor asap and don't engage in any unprotected sex (oral or intercourse) with a new partner until you have been cleared of all std's.  Curable std's should show up within a couple of months. HIV can take up to a year according to my gynecologist.  

I did that already and I am desease free thank God



DragonLadysFire -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 8:48:22 PM)

I agree with defiantbadgirl he is putting you as second best and putting your heath at risk.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 9:03:21 PM)

Given the new information, yes, either accept it or reject it.  There are definitely people who accept this- not necessarily slaves.  Normal people whose partner suddenly change jobs and have to travel a lot, or who have a baby and suddenly need to spend a majority of their time on raising the person, or have a family member get sick and need lots of attention, or get called to serve overseas- deciding to change the relationship from full time to part time does happen and it can be bitterly unfair to both the relationship and the other partner.

But it does, and you can either accept it and know that you are still fulfilled in that situation, or say it's not going to work and end it.



MissMagnolia -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/14/2008 9:33:49 PM)

Oh babycakes. He's refusing to negotiate and calls discussion topping from the bottom and manipulating?

Please look at the facts, with as clear a head as you can manage (and I do know that's more easily said than done). Unless he has some valid reason for suddenly and dramatically changed the relationship, he is screaming out to you that you are now less valued than you were. I'm sure if he had a valid reason he would have told you what it was and not hide behind the "you're topping from the bottom" routine.

He must have some reason for all this but isn't telling you. Sounds to me like a coward or someone who has something to hide.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 12:59:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Eureka!  I've got the perfect solution to your dilemma, babycakes!  All you have to do is.....oops....wait a minute.....my opinion can't possibly be the solution you seek as I am not a dominant.  Oh well, good luck.  Maybe one of them will be able to hit upon it sooner or later.  If only I could answer[:o]

luci[8D]


I deeply apologize luci...it was not my intention to offend.


Something to keep in mind here, by limiting your audience as you have, you have potentially eliminated sound advice from submissives who have been in your shoes.  I am not offended by your requirements, but suggesting that it's something to consider in the future.



MissMagnolia -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 1:01:46 AM)

I never know who's sub and who's dom in these threads. You know we all just bog in and post, whether anyone wants us to or not.[:D]



MrSuperior -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 1:08:06 AM)

Mr. Superior says:

A good Dom would negotiate those terms a lot more clearly!  Seems someone isn't playing nice!

Mr. Superior strongly believes in communication...it's what makes for SUPERIOR relationships!




ownedgirlie -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 1:08:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I never know who's sub and who's dom in these threads. You know we all just bog in and post, whether anyone wants us to or not.[:D]


Ha!  Good point.  [8D]



slaveluci -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 5:37:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Eureka!  I've got the perfect solution to your dilemma, babycakes!  All you have to do is.....oops....wait a minute.....my opinion can't possibly be the solution you seek as I am not a dominant.  Oh well, good luck.  Maybe one of them will be able to hit upon it sooner or later.  If only I could answer[:o]

luci[8D]


I deeply apologize luci...it was not my intention to offend.

No offense taken.  It was just a joke.  Only kidding, babycakes.  Thank you for your politeness, however[:)].  Ownedgirlie made the point I intended to make.........luci



Imaticklor2005 -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 6:37:55 AM)

Question yourself if the relationship still fullfills your needs.
Obviously for him how the situation was before with you wasnt enough and he went fishing somewhere else.
How its now doesnt satisfy you otherwise you wouldnt post this question.
Either you accept how it is if he doesnt wanna negotiate (which i dont recommand) or end it and open yourself up to something new that does make you happy.
Probably feels like your stuck but you can also see it as an opportunity for something better.



sirguym -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 7:43:08 AM)

Personally I only have relationships, outside of that with my wife, that are part time for me.

Sometimes they are full time for the sub or slave in question.

But that is/was negotiated from the start. They knew the score and agreed.

I accept I can't change any basic provision in the agreement I have witout negotiation.

A change in 'time together' from full-time to only 3 days a week is pretty basic.

I go with the 'accept or dump' camp.

And if you accept, be prepared for the day when you only get one day a week, one day or a month.

Or he brings the other home and expects you to accept a subsidiary role in poly relationship.

These things happen, patterns recur, either both of you did not negotiate well at the beginning.

Or someone is unilaterally rewriting the rules; which means you can never trust them to stick to anything agreed.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 9:16:33 AM)

OG- apparently that's what she wants, she emailed me to ask why I'd posted and let me know that her master doesn't listen to anyone who isn't Fully Dom.



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 10:09:21 AM)

So someone needs to say this  -  "He's just not that into you".   You can choose to live with that, or not.



domahpet -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 10:19:51 AM)

well, you can probably tell what i am from my nicname.
the "only listening to Full Dom" issue is BS.
you *ahem* dom? hes got issues babycakes- big time.
how in the world can he ever know what a sub needs or wants
if he dosent listen to them?
is he a psychic?
whatever.
if you want to be part-time, you go right ahead.
the time youre not with him is your own, so have a blast girl!



Flslaveseeker -> RE: Part-Time Master? (3/15/2008 10:30:09 AM)

I think he changed rules and never gave youa choice so take it or leave it it is very simple for you to do



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