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what do you all think :submissives have weak personality? - 3/15/2008 2:22:50 PM   
searchin4love


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well wat do you all think of submissives..do you find them weak as a person..?
a submissive man can never attract you sexually?
i believe in individualism of any kind be it mystic one or be it ayn rand's one..
does my submission to you makes me a hypocrite?
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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 2:24:36 PM   
christine1


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OP, i don't understand your question very well, but i'm a submissive and i have anything but a weak personality.

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 2:33:49 PM   
searchin4love


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i mean i am not "weak" wen in comes to every thing..but wen it comes to sexual thing i want to loose control to women..does my sexual preference alone is responsible for wat kind of personality i possess?..
well wen a woman submits to her man no one has problem..but wen a man do so why people are unable to digest it..
why dont they treat us equal..
wen men have changed their expectations from women
why cant women too..?..
why cant they think of us a humans why do they have to compare us with other men on the scale of manhood..just because we think of women differently..

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 2:50:37 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


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I suspect that what you're talking about is submissive men, am i right? No, i don't thing male submissives are weak, not at all. I know quite a few and not one of them is someone i would class as weak, in fact some of them are the strongest men i know.
 
Phoenix

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 2:53:01 PM   
Daddysredhead


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Dear Searchin,

I do not think that think that submissive means weak.  I am submissive to my Master who is a very strong man.  I have a great deal of respect for Him and the submission, sexually or otherwise, comes naturally to me.

I was married to a man from your part of the world for 13 years.  He was very strong in many areas and I loved that, but he was also very submissive when it came to others.  His submissive attitude came across as non-caring and ignorant, and I became very angry at that attitude.  It made me very domineering towards him, in a very ugly way.  I did not like the way I was acting and it made me feel very bad.  We are now divorced, but we are friendly with each other.  We have had talks about the way the Asian world sees men who are more submissive towards women in some way and it is unfortunate that they are seen as weak.

I do not think that men who prefer women to take the lead sexually are weak, I think that those men may just enjoy having the woman show him how to please her.  It may make him feel like he can be free to do things that he may want to do, but may not know how to express that desire.  With any sexual submissive, it can be very liberating to give that control over to another, losing yourself in the moment, letting yourself do things because someone else says so, even though you want to do them, too. 

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 2:59:25 PM   
rubberpet


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I'm a submissive male and am far from weak.  I'm very strong and independent in my everyday life, yet I have the need and desire to submit to a strong woman.  She does not find me weak.  In fact, should She ever need it, She knows She can sit back and let me handle things in any aspect of life.  Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I'm far from weak.  My personality is very outgoing and I'm very vocal about my opinions and beliefs.  Even though I'm submissive, I'm very much an alpha type male.

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:07:05 PM   
searchin4love


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thank you..for such a lovely information..in my country men who want to follow the lead of women are considered as submissives..
there was time in my country that matriarchy prevailed that is the reason we still have goddesses..
i am not in favour of matriarchy or patriarchy..
the thing i hate is wen women find men who submits to women as of weak..
ok they might not be the way they think of man but that doesnt mean submissive men are weak..
sexual preference isnt the criteria for "manliness" isnt it?
i havent even done anything sexual with women..i am just curious about it..in my country sex before marriage is not so common..
but there are sure very less dominating women as compared to sub ones..
i just want to live a happy married life :(..

thank you montrealphoenix too for your info..

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:12:29 PM   
MisPandora


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The ones I enjoy most have strong personalities and are interesting people.  I woudn't be with them if they were boring, a dullard or a doormat.  Where's the fun or challenge in that? Any dummy can dominate a wet dishrag.

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:32:11 PM   
Lockit


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I think that society influences how we view the words dominant and submissive and all things.  I think to find personal freedom, we have to look deeper and evaluate things from our view, from seeing how both dominant and submissive can be far different in meaning depending on the people involved.  There is a way of dominance I hate.  It is unhealthy.  Then there is a part that is very beautiful and healthy.  Same with submission.  It pretty much depends on the character of the people.

There are weak and strong people on both sides of d/s.  Most of us have strengths and weaknesses... but in general... weak people, to me are someone who cannot own their own personal strenth of character and will hide in denial of some form rather than face life challenges.  Submission has little to do with poor character.

Submission can actually be a strength!  Don't let society determine how you think on these things.  We have to live in society, but we don't have to conduct our personal lives like sheep and follow the crowd.  Find your strengths and build upon them and don't worry about others.

Good luck to you!

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:34:43 PM   
lusciouslips19


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Do I LOOK like I have a weak personality (Bobs her head with attitude)??

Stick around these forums. You will see how weak us submissives are and how bland our personalities are........NOT!!!!

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:36:13 PM   
Lashra


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I don't care for weak people therefore I wouldn't tolerate a sub who was weak very well at all. I don't think "weak" is a submissive trait in fact it takes a lot of courage and strength to submit to someone else.

My male sub is very strong and has a great personality, we get along very well. If I viewed him as weak, I couldn't respect him and that would destroy our dynamic. I am very sexually attracted to him because he is submissive, if he wasn't I most likely wouldn't have looked at him twice. Because quite frankly I do not do well with males who try to tell me what to do, I tend to leave them in the dust.

I very much believe everyone has their own path in life and its not up to me to judge them for it.

~Lashra


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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:37:50 PM   
searchin4love


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i am getting enlightened thank you all !

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:42:36 PM   
Daddysredhead


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You're welcome, searchin.

I understand very well what you are talking about.  When I first went to live for a short time in Sri Lanka with my ex-husband, I was in my early 20's and very much a strong-spirited woman, who felt that submission to a man was demeaning to what I could be as a woman.  Being such an independent woman, with such strong opininons, and such a need to express myself, well...  you can imagine the shock to the gentle nature of the beautiful Asian women who did not feel the same way as me.  I think they felt sorry that my (then) husband had gotten involved with such a dominant American woman whose culture was so different than their own.  (We met here in the States, by the way.)  I'm sure they wondered why they ever gave their blessing to have him come over here to live.  It was ok though.  We came to be very close (his family and mine) and loved each other as if the 13,000 miles were not even there, much less the obvious cultural differences.

Strangely enough, I still believe that if I were more submissive to my ex-husband while we were married, we still would have ended up divorced.  Some people are better suited as friends than marriage partners.  The best things I have to remember from my marriage to him are two beautiful children, one of whom may grow up to look like the next Kajol or Aishwarya Rye. 

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:51:16 PM   
searchin4love


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ha ha hmmm i like them but not that much..well thank you for sharing your story .i am curious about all this stuff.i havent done anything yet.
well it somes to hollywood actresses i like scarlett johanson ,evergreen marlyn monroe.yesterday i saw her movie some like it hot..funny old movie :)
kate beckinsale and charlize theron..:)

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 3:55:53 PM   
Daddysredhead


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hehehe.....  isn't that funny?  My ex-husband preferred white women when he was younger - found the Hollywood women more interesting than the Bolliwood girls.  As for me, I have always preferred dark men - dark hair, dark eyes, darker skin.  I think it has something to do with enjoying that which is not always around us.

All the very best in your search, sweetie.  I wish you much success.

Namaste.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 4:03:33 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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I can't imagine a submissive that would interest me having a weak personality. 

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 4:09:00 PM   
petpete


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Searchin, i understand your point that you are trying to make. You simply live in a Patriarchical society that identifies the male as the head of the family. Most of the world has such standards for various reasons. i personally think it has to do with a propaganda to breed soldiers due to mans aggression through history to conquer land and the feeling of power. i grew up in one myself and i know how it is to walk through your school corridors and all one could see is portraits of liberation fighters. As a child even tho' i felt submissive inside i had to portrait the image that i was consistently been fed by the then government systems to breed from young in the male the essence of being ready to defend the country and male pride and heroism..!!?? This usually was the norm with most countries that had some history of being threatened by there neighbor. The country which i was born in and that i reside now however has never witnessed such threatening situations and focus is more given to education instead of propaganda on children. But when i turn my back and look at what really was going on in a patriarchical society home, it was my mother, grandmothers, aunties and so on that ran the show in there homes as always. The male no matter how tough he looked with his moustache or beard and muscles there was an element of dependance for the not so graphic imaged female to run the most important elements of the household survival, such as budgets, children, and basically anything to do with everyday life that concerns the family entity. The patriarchical society most likely resides in a congregation male dominated place where they chat and pass most of the day drinking coffee's or smoking, joking and having there thoughts of security of there families at the hands of there female spouses that they leave behind.... Cheers mate.

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 4:43:09 PM   
searchin4love


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nope i dont have preferences for white women..
tell you frankly most of the indians have fantasy of white woman..
they thing as they see in movies watever..that white women are not fussy wen it comes to sex..
infact many of them(mostly ignorant) think of white women as sluts..but they dont know white women are free wen it comes to sex not sluts wholl have sex with every single individual!!!..
you told the names of indian actressess so told the my hollywood favs :)

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 4:44:26 PM   
searchin4love


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*think.

thanks petpete for such a lovely information

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RE: what do you all think :submissives have weak person... - 3/15/2008 4:47:15 PM   
Lashra


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quote:

ORIGINAL: searchin4love

nope i dont have preferences for white women..
tell you frankly most of the indians have fantasy of white woman..
they thing as they see in movies watever..that white women are not fussy wen it comes to sex..
infact many of them(mostly ignorant) think of white women as sluts..but they dont know white women are free wen it comes to sex not sluts wholl have sex with every single individual!!!..
you told the names of indian actressess so told the my hollywood favs :)

I used to work with an Indian woman and she had two sons. I asked her if they were dating yet and she said "Oh no! I would never allow my sons to date an American girl they are all whores. Indian girls are all virtueous before marriage" I kind of smiled to myself, I'm sure they aren't "all" virgins just like not all American women are whores.I found it interesting.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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