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Different Manners of Domination - 3/15/2008 7:05:34 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
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While reading through CM I found this:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1705825/tm.htm
Lashra said:

He makes sure that my needs/wants/desires are taken care of before his own. When we are in bed watching tv, he knows I will lay my head on his chest while he strokes my hair. He reminds me of my medication times. When we are out and its raining, he holds the umbrella and goes to get the car while I wait inside. He carries packages, does all the heavy lifting. When its cold he goes out and starts the car or cleans the snow off of it.

This was in regards to what her submissive does for her, a sample, I'm sure.

It made me think about what I do for My Pet.

I know there are many ways to exert dominance. Daddy doms, service tops, slave owners, pet owners, dominants, whatever the category, there is tremendous variation, and it's all good. Personally, though, I realized many of the things i do for My Pet would be found in the list of expectations many dommes would have for their male submissives. I get her doors, pay for her (when I can), wash her, groom her, I'll let my arm fall asleep so we can watch 3 hours of Discovery Channel with her head on my shoulder. Zee list goes on and on.

For as much as I give, I probably take a lot more. I'm not bashful in having her satisfy my desires, and it is quite evident I hold all the cards (save the Ace of Spades). I know I'm more of a softey, day-to-day, than many other owners, and I'm fine with that. In fact, I see my actions as a unique way to put her in her place. Remember, this is the 1/2 of chivalry the average woman (NEVER use that phrase on the internet, let alone a community of alternative lifestyle people) wants to keep. I do my fair share of the other side too.

I'm curious to know how many other dominants here exert power over pets in such a manner?

Edit: Thank you, Lashra for your thought provoking response in the other thread.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 3/15/2008 7:06:27 PM >

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RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/15/2008 7:48:43 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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He opens doors for me. Rubs my feet if they're sore. Insists on doing the heavy lifting. And he gives great back scratches.

He feels it is necessary as the physically stronger of us, to do more of the hard work. He sees better at night so does almost all of the night drives.

He is protective of his "women folk". But ours is a relationship based on emotional transparency and not on service.

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Post #: 2

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/15/2008 7:54:46 PM

Schmerzmeister

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Joined: 9/18/2006
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Heavens, I suppose there are as many ways to interact (and protocols) as there are people. My experience is that as a "servant leader" one often winds up with far more respect, trust and loyalty than only being a demanding S.O.B. That said, I certainly have my times of demanding and when I do demand the obedience flows.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 3

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/15/2008 10:47:07 PM

DefiantFlower

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Joined: 2/15/2007
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The fact that you acknowledge that this aspect of dominant nature tends to receive more respect, trust, and loyalty is probably the reason why obediance flows when it's time for you to demand.

FOR ME, this kind of dominant tends to sway me much more often. The demands are made that much more affecting when used less frequently. And it makes me much more eager to please. Plus, it leaves room for the more subtle demands...the quiet, deep voiced commands that make knees wobble and breath quicken. Usually, when a demanding S.O.B. does this, it comes off as fake or awkwardly different and out of character. Usually.

(in reply to Schmerzmeister)

Post #: 4

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/16/2008 12:10:56 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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I think most of the time we still look like that sickly sweet just fallen in love couple.

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RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/19/2008 1:56:36 AM

Quadrum

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Joined: 11/13/2007
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What is a S.O.B ?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/19/2008 2:15:58 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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An American euphemism for "Son of a bitch"....

Focus.

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Post #: 7

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/19/2008 6:14:06 AM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
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i think that if a Dom has a problem with all of those things that make up a loving relationship then they have a problem understanding their Dominance. if they cant do those things for fear of looking a wuss or if they think the submissive will wrongly interpret such things as him being a wuss then theyre missing out on so much of the bonding and closeness.

the other day Sir offered to research something for me, my submission went into overdrive, i flipped about like a flippy thing in flip flops. its all just part of the nurturing, caring, loving, thoughtfullness that cuts a difference between the SOB's and the DDGD's (drop dead geourgeous doms)

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 8

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/19/2008 11:42:40 AM

daddyncherry

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Joined: 10/9/2007
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my Daddy does quite alot of those things, such as opening the door on alot of occasions,snuggling me, carrying some things that are too heavy, paying for us to do things, picking out special movies for me, allowing me to choose what to eat for dinner, that sort of thing.

But, he also allows me to walk through the store struglling to carry the heavy hand basket, i am only washed by him on special occasions, yet i am allowed to wash him most every day, his tv shows take precident etc.

So there is a balance between the sweet/lovable/chivalrous Daddy Master/Dom and the distant, sadistic fuck who will keep going through my sobs.

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cherry

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being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to lally3)

Post #: 9

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/21/2008 3:59:27 AM

LordSinistR

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Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

my Daddy does quite alot of those things, such as opening the door on alot of occasions,snuggling me, carrying some things that are too heavy, paying for us to do things, picking out special movies for me, allowing me to choose what to eat for dinner, that sort of thing.

But, he also allows me to walk through the store struglling to carry the heavy hand basket, i am only washed by him on special occasions, yet i am allowed to wash him most every day, his tv shows take precident etc.

So there is a balance between the sweet/lovable/chivalrous Daddy Master/Dom and the distant, sadistic fuck who will keep going through my sobs.

I am exactly that way you described. I am a chivalrous gentlemen but also can be the distant, sadistic fuck who will keep my sub/slave on her toes. I have been told I am a perfect mix of Bad Boy and Good Guy....lol so I guess I will take that as a compliment :D

< Message edited by LordSinistR -- 3/21/2008 4:00:52 AM >

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(in reply to daddyncherry)

Post #: 10

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/21/2008 10:20:26 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

The key.. in my mind, is that the Top gets to make the choice, that means, while I don't do it, if I want to give my boi a massage, I can. Its my choice. Its taken a long time for the boi to get used to me doing certain things for myself that she feels she should be doing. I did give her a massage, a nice 90 minute gift certificate!

I do several things to take care of what is mine; what comes to mind first is on my day off, Monday, I get up and get that boi ready by making sure she gets whatever I've cooked over the weekend, carefully put together to get her a couple of meals... some cut up fruit (otherwise she'd never eat a healthy thing in her life) and a few other things...

its about taking care of her

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 11

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/21/2008 10:50:09 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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At my last session I politely asked my Daddy for one very nice kiss. We typically start with that but this session had taken a different course. He had fun teasing me, asking me what made me believe that I should receive one. I laughed and said because I had asked very nicely. My wish was granted.

What almost brought tears to my eyes, though, was that as He was about to leave He realized that He had made Himself a drink (because I was blindfolded at the time) and that I never had one. He asked me if I hadn't wanted one, and I said yes but that I had been given no time for one. He immediately stopped what He was doing, even though He had been on the way to the door, and prepared a drink for me. I was so amazed. It is my job to take care of Him, not the other way around. That kindness made me feel closer than ever to Him, and made me even more determined to do whatever I can to please Him.

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Post #: 12

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/21/2008 6:49:16 PM

MasterDarell

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/21/2008
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As a dom. i've also had to feel out who i'm working with. With subs I usually have a much more mutual relationship outside of the bedroom. In the bedroom I take control but outside i'mjust your classic chivalrist.
With slaves on the other hand, you need to take care of their physical health but many of them enjoy being treated simply as slaves 24/7 and want no equal treatment what-so-ever. They are still your property though and must be fed and maintained. I take good care of my girls.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 13

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/21/2008 7:29:39 PM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Your welcome HeavansKeeper

My sub does so many wonderful things for me and I in turn do wonderful things for him.
I make sure that he takes care of his health, exercises, take vitamins and gets regular phyiscals/dental/eye exams. This was something he never did before and its a good thing he did, as he found out he has high blood pressure.

I also take care of his need to serve and his need for pain (the good kind). I allow him to crossdress, a need that we discovered quite by accident. I am also the only person that he really confides in and that has made a big change in him. He is more relaxed because he doesn't have to keep everything bottled up anymore.

So the way I see our relationship is that it is a balance of both our needs/wants/desires. I view him as a equal person with a different role in our relationship. I try to be the teacher, the disciplinarian, the sadist, the friend, the lover, the Dominant that I need to be for our relationship.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 14

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/21/2008 8:26:36 PM

burningdesires47

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Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quadrum

What is a S.O.B ?

Google FTW

(in reply to Quadrum)

Post #: 15

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/23/2008 8:44:06 PM

epiphany

Posts: 41
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline

My owner takes me places that he knows I would not spend the money on, which I appreciate,He handles everything to do with my compluter, which is seriously for the best.

But the things that really melt me are when he takes my arm to guide me around a puddle or uneven pavement, opens the door for me, and calls me "my baby". Little things that he does without thinking that shows me he is aware of me in the moment.

One thing he started doing is now a tradition. Each time before he leaves, he will wear a shirt for awhile, and then take it off an leave it with me. That way I have his scent to sleep with that first night he's gone. I'll be doing that tonight.

epiphany

(in reply to burningdesires47)

Post #: 16

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/24/2008 5:10:53 AM

Masterssj

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

my Master is very strict at this time , however i am still in the beginning of my training , he is my first Master and will be the only one .... i have wrestled many times with trying to understand certain things and i dont always get my answer when i want it , but over time i have learned to accept what i didnt understand and many things he will explain and now i know some things he cannot explain dependent upon the question so i have to work on patience in those areas .

what does surprise and shock me at times is how he knows certain things , how he knows what i need to hear at certain times and when those certain times are and he does so or when he gives me certain privaledges when i really need them but have not expressed it to him or when i think i wish something and he knows i dont need it at the time , and he turns out to be right , of course , lol, the one major thing i have learned is that , in the beginning my perception of a Master and what one really is has now become two different things and i feel so lucky to not have what i perceived a Master to be but i have the Master that is perfect for me .

i still will never understand how Dominants know what they know and how they do what they do .... but i am appreciative and in awe of it ...

Masters sj

(in reply to epiphany)

Post #: 17

RE: Different Manners of Domination - 3/24/2008 6:49:53 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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A good leader is one who makes his people want to do the things he wants them to do. No need for yelling, ordering, chest thumping or roaring. People who care about each other will tend to care for each other. Has nothing really to do with either Domination or submission, just human caring. But if the Dom wants to say it's because He feels like it, it's His decision to be nice, go right ahead. He's just someone who found out that honey attracts more flies than vinegar.

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There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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Post #: 18

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