|
hawk58 -> RE: The "Is there something wrong with me Dliema" (9/30/2005 10:14:18 AM)
|
I think we have all been there done that at some point or another.
Hawk: I tried a vanilla mariage for several years, it didnt work. I tried a marriage for 14yrs that included kinky play in the bedroom. While that was fun, a big key ingredient was missing for me. Then another marriage later, I thought I found someone who might be submissive (not just a kinky bedroom player) but found she was needy, not submissive. Later in the mariage, found she had more needs than I could ever take care of. (Mental issues, bi-polar, manic depressive. She wasn't diagnosted with these disaorders until after we were married, so neither of us knew it.)
Finally, I decided it was time to get it right. I wanted and needed a submissive, who enjoys a little kink too. Someone who is strong in body mind and spirit, who can give herself to me. Thats where dove came in 4 yrs ago.
Yes there are times when being the Dominant can be dificult. The responisibilities of being a good Dominant are tremendous. At times I wonder if it would be easier to be "vanilla". But then, I know now, that so much of what I want and require would not be in my life, if I took that route. Each day is a challange to maintain the integrity of a Ds relationship, but well worth the efforts. Either path, vanilla or lifestyle, maintaining a relationship is alwas work, and is seldom easy. But then again, the best things in life seldome are.
dove: I tried a vanilla marriage for 13 yrs. It definitely missed what i wanted and needed from my 1st taste of a Ds relationship, that i had at an early age. I also bottomed for several dominants, as well as wore a few collars that didn' fit right. But it was all a learning exerience which taught me more about myself, who i was, and what i wanted and needed in a D/s relationsip.
Like Master says, sometimes the responsibilities are hard. Its not always an easy path for me to be a slave. Having to concede to another's will sometimes means that i have to humbly leave my will and wants aside, to let his come 1st. If there is a task to be done, and i dont want to do it, simply put, i have to suck it up, and do it, whether i find it pleasant or not. But would i find any task Master wanted done, so unpleasant as to leave the lifestyle over? I certainly dont think so. He helps fulfill the need i have within me to serve and submit, in a safe structured enviroment.
To leve the lifestyle would leave me wondering.... who or what would i submit to? That would leave me feeling utterly lost, and unfullfilled.
|
|
|
|
