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What about LTR's and the commitment of a legal marriage


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What about LTR's and the commitment of a legal marriage - 3/16/2008 3:32:12 PM   
dwind62


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		I’ve read a lot around here about part-time “play Partners”, and casual relationships. This is great and works out well for a lot of people, but not as much about long-term committed relationships and married couples in a relationship founded on a D/s dynamic.  Does anyone have an idea about resources on that subject?  Any thoughts  or comments  on the subject are welcome.
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RE: What about LTR's and the commitment of a legal marr... - 3/16/2008 3:59:37 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I suspect that you don't see alot of information with regards to LTR as compared to casual/short term relationships because LTR are in the minority of relationships in general.  Secondly, It is much easier to talk about instant gratification stuff like flogging than it is to talk about what a person needs to do to make a relationship last in the long-term.  Since most relationships fail that start as a goal for LTR, we are not so good at looking at our failures let alone talk about it. If we can't deal with these failures, I don't expect we will see LTR ever becoming the majority of relationships in existence.

Besides... what is your idea of LTR...... some would say 5 years... some would say 15... then some would say 25 years +.   I am not sure what would be an LTR.  I don't feel comfortable with stating a particular number.  I tend to see it more as a primary partner dynamic as compared to secondary partner dynamics.   When a person says they are in an LTR/Primary relationship... I expect to see them put that person in priority in there lies as compared to others in their life.  When I see behaviors that don't support it... then I begin to question the person's commitment and may even question their honesty to themselves and their so-called primary partner(s).  The time a relationship is often of alot less value to me than the actual interactions between the partners in the relationship.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to dwind62)
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RE: What about LTR's and the commitment of a legal marr... - 3/16/2008 5:52:42 PM   
dwind62


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		I know what you mean by LTR's being the minority. I consider a LTR anything over 5 years, I know everyone has a diffeerent definition on that. Although it's been my goal for a long lasting relationship a few times. I have a terrible "batting average". So, I'm clearly doing something wrong. I agree about the honesty, and that's always been a struggle for me. That's why I posted this thread. I must educate myself an what it takes to make it successful. Thanks for the reply.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: What about LTR's and the commitment of a legal marr... - 3/16/2008 6:08:34 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We're nearing the 5 year mark. Couple more months.

But honestly, it's boring to talk about. He says we're going first to Home Depot to pick up some stuff, and I'll remind him of the small stuff he asked me to remind him about. He'll say "oh right, thanks" and then I'll start making a list for him. Boring. He decides where we're going and doing and I fill in the blanks. Because that's my job, being his personal assistant. He'll write a letter and I proof read it. I mean, how thrilling is that? Or the other biggie here, going to the grocery store and have him say now that it's warmer he feels like grilling, pick up some burgers. It's d/s because he decides he wants to grill and what he wants to eat, but it's not fun to talk about.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: What about LTR's and the commitment of a legal marr... - 3/16/2008 6:56:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		LTRs are also boring.  You know what we're doing?  We're living life.  Hardly good fodder for net discussions. 

http://www.collarchat.com/m_83805/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#83805
Ds love and marriage

http://www.collarchat.com/m_132827/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#132827
bdsm and marriage

http://www.collarchat.com/m_239723/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#239723
Marriage and Ds

http://www.collarchat.com/m_291606/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#291606
Marriage and bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_455701/mpage_1/key_marriage/tm.htm#455701
Marriage and bdsm lifestyle



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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to dwind62)
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RE: What about LTR's and the commitment of a legal marr... - 3/16/2008 7:13:30 PM   
dwind62


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		Hey thanks for the links luckyAlbatross that was awesome.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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