RE: Response Honesty

RE: Response Honesty (Full Version)

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Leatherist -> RE: Response Honesty (3/17/2008 7:31:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Urdok Personally, I'd prefer honesty to no response if I take the time to write out a decent personal message. I try to keep to that in my responses as well, though I'm likely to say "you're not my type," rather than "you're fat/old/a cave troll." I owe nothing to anyone I choose not to cede something to. Even if you wrote me war and peace-I'd still need to have a reason-like being interested.

MzMia -> RE: Response Honesty (3/17/2008 7:32:45 PM)
I just changed my age to 98, so I will never have to change it again. If someone does not approach me cause I claim to be 98, tough titties. I figure when I get 98, I won't need to change it. lol, when I am 99, I can lie and say I am 98.

Real_Trouble -> RE: Response Honesty (3/17/2008 9:11:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Even if you wrote me war and peace-I'd still need to have a reason-like being interested. Especially if they wrote War and Peace! It's overrated to begin with, and it would be blatant plagiarism! Ahem; to get back on topic, I think something I always consider is this: unless you genuinely believe the other person is deliberately fucking with you, they took a risk to try to get into contact with you. Maybe this one didn't work out, but if they aren't rude, I'm not going to be rude back. In fact, I usually will thank them and say no politely without much detail (though as I said before, if they ask, I will tell, but be careful what you wish for). In general, I think smart risk taking to get something you want is a behavior that should be rewarded, not discouraged, so I try to treat it as such. What I don't want to do is put too much in my profile that is over-specific about what I want. I have some criteria I am very unlikely to bend on, but I very rarely say never. Thus, I'd rather keep my eyes open for kink-related Black Swans than shut the door completely.

sillyfool -> RE: Response Honesty (3/17/2008 9:19:56 PM)
i understand what everyone is saying about being respectful, and if you can give a certain reason that will not be 'harmful' to another person do so... But for the most part we are all adults and personally i would rather someone just tell me the truth. Granted it needs to be in a respectful manner, but the real reason. i am a ssbbw and i understand that most people would not consider a relationship [or for some even a friendship] with me becuase of that. i am upfront with my weight, and if you have a problem with it--then you can return the respect by not wasting my time and also telling me the truth.

Leatherist -> RE: Response Honesty (3/17/2008 9:21:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real_Trouble quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Even if you wrote me war and peace-I'd still need to have a reason-like being interested. Especially if they wrote War and Peace! It's overrated to begin with, and it would be blatant plagiarism! Ahem; to get back on topic, I think something I always consider is this: unless you genuinely believe the other person is deliberately fucking with you, they took a risk to try to get into contact with you. Maybe this one didn't work out, but if they aren't rude, I'm not going to be rude back. In fact, I usually will thank them and say no politely without much detail (though as I said before, if they ask, I will tell, but be careful what you wish for). In general, I think smart risk taking to get something you want is a behavior that should be rewarded, not discouraged, so I try to treat it as such. What I don't want to do is put too much in my profile that is over-specific about what I want. I have some criteria I am very unlikely to bend on, but I very rarely say never. Thus, I'd rather keep my eyes open for kink-related Black Swans than shut the door completely. I have some definite things that tend to annoy me in people. Which is because I'm an odd duck-I really don't care for a lot of vanilla attitudes. (at least vanilla to me) So if I see a lot of hard limits I find silly.....romantic platitudes and exhortations of expectations (shopping lists)....I'm going to immediately lose interest. I just tell someone I really don't think we are a match-and yes I really DO mean "friends only". I don't get nasty unless they persist. Which will happen exactly once-before I hit the block button and shut them down.

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