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hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Femdom wedding (3/19/2008 3:28:07 AM)
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ORIGINAL: rubberpet
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ORIGINAL: MsSaskia
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ORIGINAL: rubberpet
Who says romance is dead! I've heard of getting married for U.S. citizenship, but never dental insurance. Oh well, I guess you gotta start out somewhere and work your way up. [8|]
I'll be getting married soon just for the insurance. Getting a piece of paper that'll get me insurance is annoying and inconvenient and the last thing I wanted to ever have to do again. Sometimes circumstances suck and people do things they'd rather not do. Having people like you around to point snide fingers at anyone whose romantic ideal doesn't match yours really doesn't help.
Sorry, MsSaskia, but if Mistress declared on a collarme post that She wanted to move up our wedding date sooner because She simply needed my insurance, it would make me question a few things. I could understand moving the date because she couldn't wait to marry me because She loves me so much, but if your idea of moving up a wedding simply for the benefit of insurance is your idea of a romantic ideal, then I feel it makes anyone who says that sound like a golddigger to me. I really don't care if you take my statement as snide or not, but always know there are some people that are OK with the whole golddigging aspect and some that are not. To me, the original post sounded tacky, that's all. It was just my opinion. The way she wrote the original post made me wonder that if her sub didn't have insurance, would she still marry him?
As an old saying goes, "It's not what is said, but how it is heard."
this situation seems a little blown out of both ends. i'm not an expert, in fact i'm pretty clueless on how one should feel in the area of getting married, i feel like getting married is arbitrary altogether and a certificate and a ceremony will not alter or institute anything new into my relationship. the same as a degree or the lack thereof proves jack shit of my education or capability. but yes of course, if someone said they were marrying me just for insurance rather than because they wanted to i'd feel pretty hurt. but if we were getting married because we were in love, she said she just wanted to change the date around to make our day to day lives work out better, i wouldn't feel like she was treating me badly or taking our relationship lightly because of it.
the idea of marriage to me is simply symbolic in my head, it won't change whether i love her, will always love her, or will always remain faithful, and obviously getting married and saying you will doesn't mean your words amount to anything. it seems more like a tradition that is carried on without any real thought.
on the flip side, the government loves to control our "free" lives. when being married, our taxes change, our income is looked at differently, things like insurance will be altered.
marriage is a christian tradition, which is why it seems so ridiculous that gays or people that are not christian or do not hold christian values would wish to be married, until you remember that christian marriage is the only one the government really acknowledges as legal union, and doing so allows certain benefits. so why should gay couples, or agnostic people not get the benefits of a married couple while the rest of the fine print ideals in relations match up?
i think you understand that it is not a commendable act to get married simply for material value. but the fact they already planned on getting married, and due to the legal benefits just want it done sooner... shouldn't depreciate why they planned the marriage in the first place. i'm going to assume they are getting married for the expected reasons, not to just go see the dentist. but since the engagement is already in place, if it would be more beneficial to carry it out and not delay it, i'm going to again assume that doesn't change the groundwork in the relationship.
i don't think your comments are too far out of place, as it struck me as being materialistic at first too, and if i didn't second guess myself so much, i would probably have said something along the same lines, i was at least thinking similarly. but the obvious is sometimes not so obvious; if she only wanted an insurance benefit, you can get married instantly for 50 dollars. the simple fact that she does want attention put into the wedding, and that the ceremony is important to her should be more than enough to condone belief that this isn't a trivial matter unrelated to love.
whether moving the date forward because of insurance, or moving it forward because they loved each other so much they felt like they couldn't wait for it to be official (which by the way is my lack of understanding in marriage, what the hell is an official declaration of love? it's like marriage is just boasting, i can do that on my own and save loads of $$... maybe enough savings to just afford dental work? [:'(]) regardless of the reasons, or whether they are good or bad, it won't change the relationship and i stick to my original concern. be careful what you're rushing into, while marriage won't change your feelings for one another, it'll change plenty of other things that are not so easy to unchange, and aren't supposed to be undone.
i can't tell you not to do it, and i don't mean to cast negative aspirations, but i'd be looking for alternatives for your dentist aside from just jumping quickly into lifelong vows, i'd recommend letting it come naturally. everything in its time.
and to the guy that thinks an ideal marriage is having your mother walk you naked on a leash while the middle of a few hundred people, that half of which are also naked in the middle of some chapel or anywhere for that matter...
-_- <--- this face sums up my feelings on that or any other "ideal femdom marriage".
i of course don't think legal union should be restricted to christians only, but i hate when people try to ruin or pervert the definition of something else. the ideal femdom wedding would be as traditional as any other wedding. if you wish to add personal vows that is different. if you want to kneel when putting the ring on fine. but lets not corrupt the meaning of marriage by being about sex or your damn penis. showing respect goes a long way. and you can wear a collar with a suit >_>
it's not any different that ruining the definition of art by saying toilets are works of art, or hell, look at what happened to the word love after it got endlessly thrown around. i'm going to again assume the reason for the OP wanting 3 seperate ceremonies are in some accordance to that.
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