The difference between us (Full Version)

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TearCollector -> The difference between us (3/18/2008 12:42:39 PM)

Isnt it obvious that none of us are the same and nothing about us is normal? When I say us, I am not talking about BDSM community. I mean the human race. Every single one of us has different ideas and ways of thinking. BDSM is a niche in human interests is it not? And inside BDSM we have extremes, which would also be niche is it not? And inside those extremes, dont we have individualism? My point is difficult to really put into words. But I have observed so many different things here just on Collarme that i felt it warranted a discussion. Some of the folks here feel BDSM means a certain thing and outside of that you are a phony or a wanna be. In some cases Id say that’s probably more true than not. But arent these oddities a type of BDSM niche? Like the guy who says ' A new Training tool for Slave Girl" is standing on her toes for an hour and she will beg him for what ever". Ok, that’s not my idea of domination. But it is obviously his and if some girl wants that, hasnt he found a pair in his BDSM niche? I know there will be some eye rollers out there but there are these types out there. Id call it a niche if they find a pair.

I will use myself as a good example. I am looking for perfection. Not so much in a body although I am a freak when it comes to really thin women. Because human beings are flawed by design, I will probably never find exactly what I want. Although I thought I was close once. What I want may not be realistic or even exist outside the movies. But continue to search. But isn’t my search for this a Niche of sort and not just a basket case wasting his time? Someone will say “you can train what you want”. My reply would be this. You can not train the flaws out of a person. You can only train them what is right and wrong in your eyes. To some that’s enough. For me it isn’t.

Here is what Id like to discuss. What is normal? What is niche? and why do you feel that way about it.

Im a very busy person who spends most of my time away from a computer. Sometimes a day or two. But, I will respond to any posts. Just give me some time.

A final note: I wont get into a pissing match about anything. Especially about what it is I look for. I welcome any kind of replies. But if your looking to chastize and get my blood pressure up it wont happen. I have ice water for blood.




colouredin -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 12:53:40 PM)

If one thing is normal then virtually everything else in the world is abnormal, thats the nature of the word, pretty much nothing is identical. The term 'norms' is a bit better, it doesnt mean normal it means usual, so a usual relationship would be between a Man and Woman of similar age etc, but its not normal because no two people are the same, how they view their relationship will be differant to the next person, and the next. 



FRSguy -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 1:09:25 PM)

The way I understand it normal is what 70% of the population does and we do not. Our brains are measurably different. Although every person is an individual... there are some basic simularities between us which are different from the basic simularities of that other 70% which is why the subculture exists. We are different but in the same way.



SteelofUtah -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 1:11:16 PM)

I'm still trying to wrap my head around What is Acceptable and what is not I'll leave Normal to the Theologens (Sp?) See what I mean I can't even spell how in the hell am I supposed to figure out NORMAL????

Steel



Daddyslilpookie -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 1:33:33 PM)

Normal people worry me[;)]hehehe



subtee -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 1:45:09 PM)

The world would indeed be a lovely place if everyone could find someone to scratch their "niche."



kdsub -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 1:47:04 PM)

Myself I am very pragmatic…I am my own island in time and space. There is only one normality and that is mine. When I die the universe dies with me.

My thoughts and views on life will mean nothing in a few short generations and nothing ever on the cosmic level.

So live for today…love and cherish your time as a thinking being. If you choose, as I so choose, be kind to your fellow travelers and realize there is no worth in judging the normality of others.

Butch



MasterBlueTiger -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 2:09:51 PM)

What is normal? I think everyone looks for acceptance and in somowhere in our social evolution protocols were established to determine whether one was o.k. or not o.k. I think we as a species are begining to outgrow that mentality recognizing that we are each individuals, and through individuality we obtain strength. However we are still in the early stages as those who cling to the concept of "normal" become uncomfortable with this gift of expression. And society does still bombard us with these conepts to some extent, though not nearly as bad as it was even a decade ago. I feel no ill will towards those who feel as such, however, instead I pity them that they do not feel they can truly embrace themselves.



verysweet -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 2:34:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TearCollector
What is normal? What is niche? and why do you feel that way about it.

 
Normal is being or doing what comes naturally to you.  And then, it's so much easier to find your niche -- whatever that may be.




TreasureKY -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 2:35:43 PM)

In my world, normal conforms to my standards.  It makes no difference to me what anyone else thinks is normal... they are not living my life.  Only those who have some kind of authority over me may have standards or expectations that usurp my own; primarily FirmhandKY, my employer, and the law.  



beargonewild -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 2:39:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TearCollector

Here is what Id like to discuss. What is normal? What is niche? and why do you feel that way about it.

Im a very busy person who spends most of my time away from a computer. Sometimes a day or two. But, I will respond to any posts. Just give me some time.

A final note: I wont get into a pissing match about anything. Especially about what it is I look for. I welcome any kind of replies. But if your looking to chastize and get my blood pressure up it wont happen. I have ice water for blood.



I define normal as a concept which is what I deem acceptable to my perception of myself and my enviroment. My perception entails my experiences, wants. needs, desires and to some degree, the morals and values which was instilled in me from the parents.
What I se as a niche is where I feel my place is in this world and how I fit into the grand scheme of things.



TracyTaken -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 2:43:28 PM)

Just as perfection is not a reasonable expectation, neither is "normal" when you're talking dynamics between human beings.  There is no such thing.

quote:

I will use myself as a good example. I am looking for perfection. Not so much in a body although I am a freak when it comes to really thin women. Because human beings are flawed by design, I will probably never find exactly what I want.


It is a given then that whoever you do find will not have exactly what he/she wants either.



Kirren -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 4:09:24 PM)

Normal is like beauty...its in the eye of the beholder.



camille65 -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 4:10:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirren

Normal is like beauty...its in the eye of the beholder.
 Oh I like that!



SailingBum -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 4:11:45 PM)

I am the only normal one here.  It's the rest of you that are fucked up.

BadOne



subtee -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 4:21:54 PM)

Pffffffffffffffftttt!



LadyHathor -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 4:40:14 PM)

I do not recognize normal, I recognize standards and constancy---there is nothing normal--no 2 rays if sun are alike, no two breaths taken by one human being are the same, no 2 heart beats are identical--there are constants against a mean, standards for similar groups.
 
Niches are small segments that are not found in the standard, inconstant things among constancy.
 
 
I say, that I am what I am---for the most part being what I am, I am constant, I am-- against the standards that I set for Me to be--all else is standard against that, constant against that or in a state of flux---most of the time, all else is in flux.
 
 
 
 



greenearth21 -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 7:57:51 PM)

Normal is whatever one perceives it to be. 



Tigrita -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 8:15:58 PM)

I don't know if there are any biology geeks reading this to appreciate this comment, but the OP brings to mind a joke between me and my bio lab rats.  We'd often wonder whether we, or anyone in question was "mutant" or "wild type".  Wild type being 'normal' or 'background', and the paradox being that there is so much diversity in a wild population that there is no single 'wild type', making all wild specimens some sort of mutant.  Okay, I'll stop geeking out now.  Don't get me started on the word 'niche'. 





ZenDragoness -> RE: The difference between us (3/18/2008 8:31:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Myself I am very pragmatic…I am my own island in time and space. There is only one normality and that is mine. When I die the universe dies with me.

My thoughts and views on life will mean nothing in a few short generations and nothing ever on the cosmic level.

So live for today…love and cherish your time as a thinking being. If you choose, as I so choose, be kind to your fellow travelers and realize there is no worth in judging the normality of others.

Butch


Thank you for your words. I could not have better expressed my attitude.

Well, i could work on the kindness.



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