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Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 2:22:40 PM   
slvFfireAZ


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline 		Hi this is the first time i have posted so i honestly don't know where this goes.  But anywyas my gf knows about BDSM and occasionaly we play around but I am the one into the lifestyle and she would like to get into it and I don't know where to go to help her out on how to jump into the lifestyle.  anyways If anyone could be of help i would appreciate it. 

Thank you
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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 2:25:25 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Do your reading, talk, ask what interests her, think about going to munches/ local events all that kind of stuff. If she thinks about the kinds of things that appeal to her and work from there. It is not like there is one right way to do it, if you are into it, you must have started somewhere, you can help explain things and talk to her, hover on the boards here and ask questions and all that jazz.


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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 2:28:36 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Heh, the serious advice people give will help you a lot, so go by it.

My non-serious advice?  Say, "You're in charge" and don't move a muscle until she tells you too.  See how long it takes her to figure it out.  I'm assuming she's dominant.  If you're both submissive, then...well...I dunno.

good luck,
DV's Fox

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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 2:29:17 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		My club offers free workshops open to non-members. If you could find something like that, it would be ideal. Not only to meet others, but to learn how to play safe.

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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 2:30:44 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

But anywyas my gf knows about BDSM and occasionaly we play around


Welcome to "the lifestyle."  Feel free to take pictures, but haul out your own garbage.  Don't wake the neighbors, don't frighten the horses but the rest is pretty much your choice.  Don't forget that your deposit is unrefundable and the cost for incidentals is five times the market rate.  Enjoy your stay.

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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 2:30:54 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Order some good books for you guys to digest and to create some questions for discussion.  Make sure you dont get caught up in "the one twue way" so to speak and that you guys use the information you get to create your own thing based on what you learn. You might want to create a couple screen name and welcome her to the slaughter house where she can meet other woman to discuss her feelings and thoughts (you should do this together).  Make connections with the people you think may feel simular to the way you guys feel and ask question... lots of question.... Take a look at the things you have allready tried and perhaps see how you can expand on it some. Check in with one another constantly to make sure you both are still looking to acomplish the same things.  Good luck.

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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 2:43:11 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		Somewhere in this girls head is something she wants to try.  For me it started as simply as having my hands tied behind my back.  Now, those fantasies kept me up nights. 

Ask her.  Let her come here and read, or just type BDSM in a search engine and voila.  Keep clicking links.  These little ads that are on this site?  I have learned more by clicking on links...

ahem...anyway, there's tons of information on the net.  I'm not just talking about porn here, but good-hearted people with good stuff to say.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Transwiki:List_of_BDSM_terms
Start here.  Did wonders for me.
 
I agree that you should let her lead the way.  It is working for us, since I am the more timid of the two of us.  This way, no one feels rushed, and no one is getting trampled.  My Lord allows me to think and digest whatever I need to for as long as I want, only making it known he would like to try something, but always willing to hear no.  It's a great way to explore, and the more I'm allowed to have my wants/needs placed first, the faster boundaries seem to fall.

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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 11:40:52 PM   
slvFfireAZ


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for all the input i think i now have found a way to help get her into the lifestyle better.  thank you.

(in reply to StormsSlave)
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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 11:49:17 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I find that the old tried and true works very well.

"Screw the Roses, send me the thorns"

Is a good all around Kink aspect. It really deals more with the S&M aspect of the lifestyle but it will offer MANY different avenues to try and it will give an all around overview of if at very least the S&M part. The Leather Community, the D/s relationship and the Individual Fetishes are really something that you can read about if you want but usually end up creating your own variations of anyway.

"Protocols: by Dr. Rubel"

If a Good book to read to give you an Insight to ONE MANS idea of a High Protocol Home it helps when you wonder how to go about making a list of home protocols.

And Jay Wiseman Some love him some hate him I personally think he is a good resource look into him too he is an author of Many books on these subjects.

I hope this helps

Steel

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The Steel Warm-Up © ™
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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/18/2008 11:59:08 PM   
chaosforge


Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline 		may i suggest a "happy dance" ? punching the air and shouting "yes!" ?
that's what i'd do if i had a girlfriend wanting in... oh wait, still need girlfriend.

best of luck- just phoenix

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Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

I am Legion, for we are many.

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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/19/2008 12:01:56 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		^^^ Again with the Funnies.

I'm willing to Mail you a Blow Up Sheep.

As Always

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/19/2008 12:07:27 AM   
chaosforge


Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline 		how'd you find out i'm scottish? i didn't put it in the profile. Master must have revamped the profile...
i'm stopping right now, before the scot jokes really come out.
-just the red haired blue eyed undenyable scottish phoenix

ps- truely, i'm a girl, what possible use could i have for a sheep? though i have been craving mutton...

_____________________________

Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

I am Legion, for we are many.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/19/2008 12:12:45 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Look I don't care what you do with your free time I just told you what I was willing to do. You said you needed a Girlfriend. I was willing to send a Blow Up Sheep. It isn't may fault that you have no idea how to make it work for you.

But it would be funny as hell.

A Joke.

Do you know what Scottsmen wear Kilts?

Cause it's easier to Chase a Sheep with your Kilt up than with your Pants down and Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

**Steel is a Scottsman too with the Campbell Tartan to prove it**

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to chaosforge)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Gf wants to get into lifestyle? need input - 3/19/2008 12:24:41 AM   
chaosforge


Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline 		OP- might want to have a long talk about what she already knows, hopes to learn, and what she expects at this point.


Steel- oh, okay, i'm picky and like the human type.

Q. Why does a Scotsman wear a kilt?
A; 'Cuz it's easier to run with yer kilt up than yer pants down. (that's the joke i heard)

Q; What does a Scot wear under the kilt?
A; Shoes and socks.

Q; How does a Scot find sheep in tall grass?
A: Very satisfying in deed.

-just phoenix, scampering off humming the Ballad of the Drunken Scot via Dr.Demento

_____________________________

Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

I am Legion, for we are many.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 14
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