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New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 7:59:23 AM

respectyourowner

Posts: 122
Joined: 2/27/2008
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I have always had desire to be a Master but because of my marriage I did not act on it. My now Ex-wife was not in to it at all. Now I have found one slave and I am looking for a second. It will be a full time relationship this April. This will be the first time I have lived in a 24/7 situation.

Does anyone have any advice?

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 8:05:38 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Don't look for a second until your first relationship is well established and stable.

the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 8:07:53 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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To much to fast.
Take it easy..and first learn about yourself and your girl.

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 8:28:22 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

Does anyone have any advice?

don't rely on a signed contract between you and your slave to keep you "safe".

(in reply to respectyourowner)

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 8:31:33 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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heh, m'Lord and I have a signed written agreement. The day I signed it I was naked, cuffed and had just been flogged (and I wouldn't have it any other way)-- guess that won't hold up at all.

Of course it wasn't our intent to be "safe", just to have in writing what the agreement and expectations were.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 8:35:43 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

Of course it wasn't our intent to be "safe", just to have in writing what the agreement and expectations were.

Master and His slave have a signed contract as well, for the same reasons--for US, not in case of some third party intervention--to document our agreement and expectations...however, some folks seem to operate under the misguided assumption that it will keep them safe from something.

(in reply to OmegaG)

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 8:38:42 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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Talk, talk and more talk.

It was always known to me that I was entering what would become a poly relationship, however in one of our conversations a theory he had with how the dynamics would work came in sharp contrast with how I knew I would react (not jealosy-- he simply thought that a woman who was a switch or a Domme would just automatically be in charge and I'm not entirely sure that I'd be a beta without first knowing how our personalities meshed-- if that makes sense).

He also envisioned a sub for me and when it came to talking about the type of men I preferred, he decided he'd feel more comfortable if my sub was female.

We are also very cautious that any person we bring in could negatively impact the dynamics between the two of us and we don't want that to happen.

Basically, in theory it sounds easy to bring in a 3rd, but when personalities and individual quirks are examined, it's tricky work.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to respectyourowner)

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 9:07:39 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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Slow the fuck down would be my advice, followed by don't mistake giving orders with offering inspiration, summed up with punishment is more often a sign of an incompetent dominant than an unruly submissive. All of the above wrapped up in the concept of not mistaking talking for communicating.

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RE: New to being a Master. - 3/19/2008 9:45:19 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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What darcy and the dark said. Additionally our experience was that moving in together stopped the dynamic in it's tracks for about six months while we worked on the vanilla issues. How to integrate the other person's stuff into the house. Job issues if you were ldr. Even if you have the same job in the same town, simple things you took for granted are changing. Part of feeling comfortable are becoming a regular at the coffee shop, being able to chat with the same waitress, having them know what you like in your coffee etc. The small things in life have a huge impact on our comfort level.

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