is there a difference (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

SirSix72 -> is there a difference (9/28/2005 4:50:19 PM)

Greetings to all submissives and slaves,

I have a few questions that seem to have remained unanswered,

1. What exactly is a submissive, what limits does she have and what is her role in the realm of BDSM play

2. What is a slave, what limits does she have and what is her role in the realm of BDSM play

I ask this question because I have seen many differences and similarities in both on the profiles here on collarme. So for my benefit I would like to figure out just where everyone is coming from.

Master Six



andreasubmissive -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 2:25:06 AM)

I'd say everyone is different, but for me, a submissive is someone who wants a Dominant to be with, maybe in a loving, or at least and understanding relationship, based on mutual interests...

a slave to me is someone so submissive that once a Dominant is found they can trust, they give all control to that person, have no decisions to make other than personal safety, health etc x

hope this helps x



CatdeMedici -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 4:12:51 AM)

It doesn't matter where THEY are coming from, it matters where YOU are coming from, the debate between sub and slave is as old as dirt---My suggestion is to search, read, evaluate YOUR needs and seek someone with same--who cares if she is a sub, slave or your grandmas pajamas--as long as you two are compatible. The number one thing I see that ruins relationships:
 
1. Trying to force fit to a mold
2. Never leaving the realm of fantasy for reality.



Focus50 -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 4:24:21 AM)

There is no "one size fits all" in any relationship dynamic or even human anatomy. If all men preferred big boobed women (for eg), don't ya think Nature would have taken that out of the equation?

Humans are diverse because we all have individually diverse preferences. But we all know what we like (or not) when we see it.

At least, we should - which brings me to you....
You've got Buckley's of knowing what you seek if you don't even know who you are or what you want. Btw, is it "Sir Six" or "Master Six"?

Straight; gay; sub; slave; limits; no limits; some limits blah blah - it's relative to what best complements what you seek and what you have to offer in return; plus or minus the inevitable compromises.

Of course there are differences and similarities in the profiles! Do what any grownup would do - prioritise, filter and [one that any Sir (or Master?) orta be a natural at], *make choices*...!

Focus.



IrishMist -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 5:11:11 AM)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2246849/mpage_1/tm.htm

all your answeres concerning definitions can be found within

as for your questions about limits...that's not something that a stranger can answer for you.



DesFIP -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 5:40:13 AM)

There are no universally agreed upon definitions. There are slaves here who have less requirements than some subs do. There are self proclaimed slaves who are in a cyber only relationship and whose slavery consists of cyber sex in chat. And there are submissives who do what they are asked and live with their dominant.

Some people call themselves slaves because they think it makes them "more real, more true" than those who call themselves subs. And there are subs who happily do whatever they are told to who simply dislike the term slave.



oceanwinds -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 7:16:50 AM)

I cannot find a good definition to define submissive and slave, since no one lives in a carbon copy. I classify myself as a submissive because it is easier for me to comprehend. Yet, there are many aspects about me that could scream to another slave. To define and put me into a carbon copy would not serve anyone well. I do not feel anyone can tell you the difference. You will have to seek a s-type that honors all of you and your desires.



OsideGirl -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 7:37:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

It doesn't matter where THEY are coming from, it matters where YOU are coming from, the debate between sub and slave is as old as dirt


Exactly. Who cares? As long as your relationship works for you, that's all that matters. I fit what most here would call a "slave". I call myself a sub.



Mercnbeth -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 7:48:32 AM)

quote:

...So for my benefit I would like to figure out just where everyone is coming from...


they are coming from their own individual and unique persepective...so, you would most likely have to get to know everyone, individually, to find out where everyone, individually, is coming from when they use the words "submissive" or "slave".
some folks perceive no difference between the two words other than an affinity for one rather than the other.
some folks perceive a distinct difference, between the two words and even between those who refer to themselves as either.
 
the "one true definition" is mythical, at best.



leadership527 -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 8:45:22 AM)

Well, since I was just doing this research anyway, I'll make a response.

Before I start, these are the etymological roots and definitions of words and should not be construed to mean that YOU ought or ought not to agree with them. And it is absolutely true that in kinkland, the definitions have been warped all over the map to a state of uselessness.

A slave is a human which is owned by another human. So if you have an ownership dynamic, then it is M/s. Otherwise, it is something else (D/s presumably?)

Ownership does not imply any concept that even remotely equates to "total power exchange". As far back as we have recorded history, humans have owned other humans. But the range of social contracts governing that behavior is ALL over the map. Depending on what culture and time period you are looking at, there are a ton of variables. One scholar, Moses Finley, suggested the following set of criteria to discuss the degree of enslavement:

- right to own property
- authority over the work of another
- power of punishment over another
- legal rights and duties (liability to arrest and/or arbitrary punishment, or to litigate)
- familial rights and privileges (marriage, inheritance, etc.)
- possibility of social mobility (manumission or emancipation, access to citizen rights)
- religious rights and obligations military rights and obligations (military service as servant, heavy or light soldier, or sailor)

This is meant to be a little background on the topic not meant to describe how any particular individual or, for that matter, the general population of BDSM'ers think of these concepts.

As a fascinating [to me] aside, vanilla marriage institutions in the united states anywhere before 1970 or so contain a great many of these attributes and one might reasonably consider the social status of "wife" to be a type of slavery (big surprise there, eh *laughs*). I personally like to trot that one out when I get someone all up in arms about WIITWD. I'm a lot more affronted by the legally enforcable social institutions of marriage pre-70's than I am the most stringent forms of consensual slavery today.



jeninvegas -> RE: is there a difference (6/23/2009 10:41:11 PM)

In my own opinion, I feel that submissives have more "freedom" than that of slaves.



justme1980 -> RE: is there a difference (7/6/2009 9:24:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

Greetings to all submissives and slaves,

I have a few questions that seem to have remained unanswered,

1. What exactly is a submissive, what limits does she have and what is her role in the realm of BDSM play

2. What is a slave, what limits does she have and what is her role in the realm of BDSM play

I ask this question because I have seen many differences and similarities in both on the profiles here on collarme. So for my benefit I would like to figure out just where everyone is coming from.

Master Six



DAMN!!!! Where did they hide my "made in china" stamp this time??



GreedyTop -> RE: is there a difference (7/6/2009 11:16:30 PM)

almost 4 yrs old.



NihilusZero -> RE: is there a difference (7/7/2009 12:15:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

almost 4 yrs old.

Great catch. I almost missed it!



CatdeMedici -> RE: is there a difference (7/7/2009 6:09:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

almost 4 yrs old.

Great catch. I almost missed it!



However, some things are always worth repeating.



nephandi -> RE: is there a difference (7/7/2009 6:38:43 AM)

Greetings

This question have been raised a million times, if you search you will find many treads on it.

quote:

1. What exactly is a submissive, what limits does she have and what is her role in the realm of BDSM play

2. What is a slave, what limits does she have and what is her role in the realm of BDSM play

I ask this question because I have seen many differences and similarities in both on the profiles here on collarme. So for my benefit I would like to figure out just where everyone is coming from.


There is no universal answer to this. Some identify as submissive and live in a strict power exchange relationship, they are completely surrendered and their Master control them in every way, you also have people who identify as slaves who only is submissive in the bedroom and like to play spanky butt. There is no universal definition to the words. Often a submissive is someone who surrenders but have terms and contracts and conditions, while a slave surrenders unconditionally, but this is not always the case, there is no agreed upon definition on the difference between a submissive and a slave.

I wish you well



GreedyTop -> RE: is there a difference (7/7/2009 7:04:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

almost 4 yrs old.

Great catch. I almost missed it!



However, some things are always worth repeating.


Yeah.  I guess reviving an old thread is better than having a new slave vs sub thread LOL



beargonewild -> RE: is there a difference (7/7/2009 5:38:39 PM)

Simply put, my limits are ones that don't conflict with my personal morals and what I have negotiated with my dom. As to whether there's a difference between the sub or the slave, only in how the individual person defines their own role in a D/s relationship. 



Zechriel -> RE: is there a difference (7/7/2009 6:52:27 PM)

Good evening!
I can only answer for me and my relationship with Daddy. I am a slave b/c I cannot turn off my feelings of caring for him ans wanting to make him happy. I will call him on the way to shop or running errands and ask him if he needs anything. It is in my heart and being to think of him first. I cannot turn it off or walk away-that makes me different than a sub.As far as limits, i had them in the beginning but he took them away after a year, now his limits are mine. And if he changes his mind-oh well. I love him too much to walk away.

As far as my role in play, whatever he wants. But he remembers one thing-and it has to do with HIS limits...if he changes his mind and breaks one of his limits then he suffers the consequences within his mind and spirit. It is like a crystal ball and then you drop it. You can piece it back together with glue, but it is never the same, never as beautiful. I am still yours but when you look in my eyes, know you have lost a tiny piece of my respect and admiration. Just the way it is in our realtionship. Good luck.
Love,
Zechriel [sm=couple.gif]



lronitulstahp -> RE: is there a difference (7/7/2009 7:54:28 PM)

i have submissive outfits- these usually have some sort of underwear involved, more fabric, and at least a zipper/button combo.

i have slave outfits- these are easier access, lacking any undergarmental barriers, and are made of flimsy materials for easy ripping, should Master so desire.

There's not enough time to get into my sub/slave shoes and purses.

[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image]i have one hairdo that's actually quite Switch, but most people would think it was pretty subly, more than anything. *absent-mindedly curls hair around my finger and blows bubbles with my chewing gum*

i hope this helps.....[sm=bury.gif]

~obtuse slut
eta this was a fast reply



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875