2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (Full Version)

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Sekhemet -> 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 8:16:33 PM)

This is something that has been bothering Me for a couple of weeks now, and so I thought I would see what others thought about the situation.

To sum it up:
2 Dominants = 1 male - 1 female
1 American ... 1 Canadian ...

+ 7 kids of school age (under 17)
+ 5 slaves

Everyone can go both ways - no restraints.

Which side of the border, and why?
I'm curious to see all of your input, concerns and thoughts on the matter.




subversiveone -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 8:30:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet
2 Dominants = 1 male - 1 female
1 American ... 1 Canadian ...

+ 7 kids of school age (under 17)
+ 5 slaves
Which side of the border, and why?


Scratching head... not enough info
Where do the slaves and kids live? Assuming Canada i would say stay there. Why? schools and health care, hard to be uprooted unless they really want that.
You might try the poly section for input on how to balance the relationship regardless of which side you choose.
What are the personal pro's and con's for joining everyone in the states? Is there a large home available? Who works and where? How are the kids going to react? Do the slaves work?
If it just comes down to USA vs. Canada, all personal things aside, i still say Canada. My best male friend is from Victoria. The cost of living sux but he makes so much more there, it equals out.
Good luck!




EvilGeoff -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 8:33:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet

Everyone can go both ways - no restraints.




Okay.... I'm confused. If everyone goes both ways, you don't have 2 Doms and 5 slaves, you have 7 switches. OR are you meaning something different here?

Plus kids.

And holy sheep dip, South of the Border you _might_ be okay in Oregon, California and New York City with a poly situation and kids. Maybe. Reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally iffy maybe.

Social services in many (if not most) US states would snatch kids out of that situation as being "unhealthy" or "unsafe" if it was brought to their attention. That's why we have the NCSF. Not being familiar with Canadian courts or social services I can't venture a guess about how they would tolerate a poly family.

YIK,
- Geoff




EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 9:08:58 PM)

Well it could be that they COULD go either way but each form a specific relationship to the other person? For example, the owners Boston sub is a switch in general but solely submissive to the owner.

I agree, not enough information, the decision involving that many lives and that many variables isn't one that should go through an online forum.




MistressKay -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 9:18:10 PM)

As an American living in Canada (and Dominant) I can say there are benefits and disadvantages to either. With that many kids Canada is the obvious first choice just because of the health care system. But if you have a great job that offers insurance then the US schools give the kids more to believe in than just their ABC - there is something to be said for patriotism that solidifies ones sense of home. Perhaps this is too political a statement... but keep in mind I was raised in the USAF and am as red, white and blue as they come.

If you want the best of both worlds, live next to the boarder. Both have a great deal to offer - both have disadvantages... the choice however is always up to the individuals involved - after all thats what "consent" is all about. Having the freedom to choose what path is right for us.

best wishes,

Lady Kay
Native Floridian living in Ottawa, ON Canada




prettyfellowme -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 9:20:29 PM)

Tiajuana=0 kids - they're all here
If the kids go both ways end your life.

Either country, find a normal relationship where kids aren't around. I personally kbow a domme that has to cancel sessions more than half the time because of the kids.

Or: Turn Top, and stay here with me.




Sekhemet -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 9:53:11 PM)

*laughs*
Everyone can go both ways meaning there is no reason people are unable to cross the borders other than governmental insanities of the moment.

Both have kids - so the kids are on both sides of the border, and the slaves are on both sides of the border ...

And LadyKay we do have our patriotism, but we tend to show it in different ways. For instance we all know we're Canadian but we wear I AM CANADIAN paraphernalia ... We're just weird up here. *chuckles* Wait til the hockey gets goin' ...

But to relegate someone to living in Windsor or Niagara ... I dunno. [:D] T.O. and N.Y. aren't that far apart though, are they? I mean to drive is what 6 or 8 hours? And to fly is the same just most of it is in security checks? *snickers* Least that way it's 2 comprable and decently sized international cities ...?
The slaves pass for personal assistants, and employees so far as I know.




OscarHargraves -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 9:58:00 PM)

Have you considered packing everyone up and moving to Switzerland or the Netherlands?(LOL).




LADYBOA -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/28/2005 10:57:42 PM)

I am still confused.. What exactly are you asking?




prettyfellowme -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 12:02:34 AM)

Sekhemet,
I just came up with the perfect soloution to your problem. I sneak over the border, maybe around Toronto, or Niagra Falls, and you pick me up. Now, since I won't have any kids with me, you can keep me for as long as you please because nobody will know I'm there. Ah, the ultimate kidnapping of the unsuspecting sub. If you do it, I promise not to try to escape until your 86th birthday.




AAkasha -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 12:11:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet

*laughs*
Everyone can go both ways meaning there is no reason people are unable to cross the borders other than governmental insanities of the moment.

Both have kids - so the kids are on both sides of the border, and the slaves are on both sides of the border ...

And LadyKay we do have our patriotism, but we tend to show it in different ways. For instance we all know we're Canadian but we wear I AM CANADIAN paraphernalia ... We're just weird up here. *chuckles* Wait til the hockey gets goin' ...

But to relegate someone to living in Windsor or Niagara ... I dunno. [:D] T.O. and N.Y. aren't that far apart though, are they? I mean to drive is what 6 or 8 hours? And to fly is the same just most of it is in security checks? *snickers* Least that way it's 2 comprable and decently sized international cities ...?
The slaves pass for personal assistants, and employees so far as I know.


Are you looking for permanent residence in one country or the other? Traveling back and forth is one thing and you can do it on a tourist visa. But if you want to earn income in the US, the Canadian will need a work visa or marry the American.

I imported and married a Canadian. I wanted the hockey blood. We spend a lot of time in both countries, but he has a green card here. Even though we were married, he was not allowed to work here until the INS paperwork was in order. It can be pretty complicated and a bit of a drag. We even did it with an immigration attorney, and it still sucked.

But he was worth it :)

Akasha




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 7:48:36 AM)

Who has the better job (pays better, better benefits)?
Who lives in the safer, more spacious place?
Are there good schools, are they free?
Do check the laws of the land to see if you risk running into harrassment.
How strongly does one or the other feel about his/her current residence?
Taking all those into consideration and weighing them accordingly I think would lead to a fair resolution.
Good luck. M




Sekhemet -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 8:17:27 AM)

AAkasha - In truth I think the confusion ultimately rests in how long one can reside in the US without being forced to revoke the other citizenship, and remaining free to travel "home" - or the two of them to split the time on either side without excessive documentation.

In My Own research on the subject I found that ... ok ... Assuming the Canadian side is heading south - They said if marriage was to take place in the US - from what *I* understood - Canadian has to get 90 day marriage visa, marry american, get the temp residency status paperwork off and a card back which is valid for 2 years - In that 2 years (and 90 days) the temp citizen however is not permitted to leave the US without writen autorization (to do so is to risk a permanent forefit of the application and status) At the end of the 2 years the permanent residency can be applied for, and issued.
If the marriage is to take place outside the US - the visas and applications need be done when the foreign spouse arrives to US and - if the marriage is older than 2 years the application is automatically accepted as permanent. I can't find what would happen if the marriage was like say 6 months old and the Canadian wanted to head to the US for a year though.

*laughs* confusing enough fer ya? Like I said what I can NOT find in any of the mayhem is this issue of the other residency/citizenship forefit ... Which is I'm sure the ultimate hinge-pin in the matter. Other than that I just keep forwarding links. *shrug* Would that (residency forefit) happen upon application and acceptance of permanent residency or is that yet another step beyond the green cards? Does anyone know?

Canada doesn't really seem to care, get hitched, buy some property, bring up a business, and hey yer in! THAT seems simple and straight forward enough ... Course - Is it REALLY that easy? Who knows.
Suddenly I know why I don't deal with border issues tho lemme tell ya'! Holy - how much cosmic mayhem!!

Personally I'm thinking Canada because the health care which we think sucks, but it could be worse and the schools here are far better. Medication and treatment costs in Canada are much more reaonable. Apparently from what I gather getting people together up North is of little effort, however to get everyone south is not going to happen so easilly and may result in slaves being left behind. The economy up here is doing well and has been for a number of years now as evidenced by the exchange rate. And on that note if it's financial with exchange rate being so close to par now would be a perfect time. Yes taxes up here are higher, but you dont get to being rated the top country to live in without some effort either. Also not to mention up here yer allowed to hockey fight, and disagree with popular opinion without being medicated or jailed in reponse to acting in response of the world changing around you ... Which is to say I'm sure the transition for the kids would go easier one way than the other, but hey its all theory. Was just curious to see if I was "taking sides" as it were ... will continue to watch and see if anyone can help witht hat question of forefit.




Sekhemet -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 8:32:57 AM)

Both are self employed so free and able to relocate easilly and both have the capacity and ability to fare well financially no matter where.
I wouldn't base this sort of decision on walls and concrete, it gets sold, and altered. But I can't give you a bearing on this one because truthfully - I don't know.
All Canadian schools are free, even the french ones - unless of course you enroll in a private school and I don't know about catholic school board etc. If you mean university I have no clue ... That'd be another whole mess of research - and I ain't doin' it! lol (but I will mention it to those in question)
Harassment - for ...? People keep slaves and have kids on both sides of the border, the issue isn't in doing that but in not pissing off someone else who may turn into a lunatic. However as most of the kids are 10 or older it shouldn't be an issue, one would hope.
I don't think either party really cares one way or the other, property is property - from what I gather having owned lots of neither one is overly posessive, or concerned.

I have not heard about extended family on the US side, I do know there is lots of extended family on this side ...

Like I said it seems to be coming down to neither side wants to fully walk away from their home country, and HOPEFULLY there's a way to get around the problem.




lonewolf05 -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 10:29:09 AM)

LADYBOA
============
yeah what SHE said----------

wolf




AAkasha -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 10:37:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet

AAkasha - In truth I think the confusion ultimately rests in how long one can reside in the US without being forced to revoke the other citizenship, and remaining free to travel "home" - or the two of them to split the time on either side without excessive documentation.

In My Own research on the subject I found that ... ok ... Assuming the Canadian side is heading south - They said if marriage was to take place in the US - from what *I* understood - Canadian has to get 90 day marriage visa, marry american, get the temp residency status paperwork off and a card back which is valid for 2 years - In that 2 years (and 90 days) the temp citizen however is not permitted to leave the US without writen autorization (to do so is to risk a permanent forefit of the application and status) At the end of the 2 years the permanent residency can be applied for, and issued.
If the marriage is to take place outside the US - the visas and applications need be done when the foreign spouse arrives to US and - if the marriage is older than 2 years the application is automatically accepted as permanent. I can't find what would happen if the marriage was like say 6 months old and the Canadian wanted to head to the US for a year though.

*laughs* confusing enough fer ya? Like I said what I can NOT find in any of the mayhem is this issue of the other residency/citizenship forefit ... Which is I'm sure the ultimate hinge-pin in the matter. Other than that I just keep forwarding links. *shrug* Would that (residency forefit) happen upon application and acceptance of permanent residency or is that yet another step beyond the green cards? Does anyone know?

Canada doesn't really seem to care, get hitched, buy some property, bring up a business, and hey yer in! THAT seems simple and straight forward enough ... Course - Is it REALLY that easy? Who knows.
Suddenly I know why I don't deal with border issues tho lemme tell ya'! Holy - how much cosmic mayhem!!

Personally I'm thinking Canada because the health care which we think sucks, but it could be worse and the schools here are far better. Medication and treatment costs in Canada are much more reaonable. Apparently from what I gather getting people together up North is of little effort, however to get everyone south is not going to happen so easilly and may result in slaves being left behind. The economy up here is doing well and has been for a number of years now as evidenced by the exchange rate. And on that note if it's financial with exchange rate being so close to par now would be a perfect time. Yes taxes up here are higher, but you dont get to being rated the top country to live in without some effort either. Also not to mention up here yer allowed to hockey fight, and disagree with popular opinion without being medicated or jailed in reponse to acting in response of the world changing around you ... Which is to say I'm sure the transition for the kids would go easier one way than the other, but hey its all theory. Was just curious to see if I was "taking sides" as it were ... will continue to watch and see if anyone can help witht hat question of forefit.


You do not have to give up the citzenship you have to be a resident alien in the US. You only have to give it up if you take on US citizenship. The only additional benefits you get by being a US citizen is being able to vote.

If you take the oath to become a US citizen, you renounce your citizenship to any other country (ie Canada). However, Canada does not recognize that and does not revoke your citzenship. That's how you become a dual citzen. Canada will not take away your Canadian passport.

Please note, though, that being self employed does not mean you can work in the US if you are Canadian. You still have to get a work visa (and they may not allow it, it's specific what they will give a work visa for) or marry a US citizen.

You can skip all the fiance visa bullshit if you just get married when you are on a tourist visa. You still, however, can't go back to Canada and try to return to the US before your paperwork is in order (ie, before the INS has caught up on the recordkeeping to see that you are married AND to interview you to confirm it was not a marriage of convenience). If you elope on a tourist visa they WILL interview you both and could punt the canadian if the marriage looks like a sham.

Akasha




LADYBOA -> RE: 2 Dominants + 1 problem = HELP?!? (9/29/2005 12:25:37 PM)

Can you not still have dual citizenship??
A friend of mine has that.. maybe check into it!




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