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RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/20/2008 2:04:05 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Isn't this what various checklists are for? To peruse each other's interests and decide if you have enough in common?

That way you know what he's focused on, and what would be best as a reward. And if you haven't any interest in it, then you don't need to discuss it any further. You just aren't compatible play wise.

To some degree a checklist can include fantasies but it should really be grounded in experience and interest first and foremost in my opinion. If someone's only degree of interest has been in their thinking about that activity, that's a necessary thing to know but talking about fantasies as fantasies to be acted out, as I assumed the OP meant, is not something I consider to be part of that initial getting to know you stage. I can't possibly act out a fantasy (my own or yours) until I really know you otherwise it's just a stereotype you could get from anyone. I can't know you that well until we've spend considerable time together trying out the basics and seeing how compatible we are at that level.

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Post #: 21

RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/20/2008 2:13:43 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

When I first met my Owner, the subject of fantasies came up. She asked me what mine were, so she could get a better idea of what I'd like to start out trying. Now, I'd had hundreds of diverse fantasies previously... Do you know how many I could communicate to her with any detail?

0.

They really didn't seem that important to me at the time. I guess I was way too happy just with the fact that somebody was taking me seriously. I wanted to try and fit her mold, and not have her fit mine. Granted, I've also learned that telling her my fantasies is not me dictating things...it's merely showing her how I thing and what I find entrapping. At this point in time, I really don't have fantasies anymore.

...yeah, as I wrote this all I got a very interesting image of her holding me down, easily as she always does, and having her way with me.

Yeah, being 20 is totally random sometimes.

Seriously, though. I still have desires, is what I mean. I just don't have these overwhelming fantasies that I play over and over again in my head. If I did that too much, they'd be --all-- that I desire, you know?

DV's Fox

Can you desscribe what it is about the way that you submit that turns your owner on, or excites her, or makes it enjoyable for her -- beyond the obedience? What about your style, about your mannerisms, about your situation? This is not rhetorical it's a real question...but it's also personal so I understand if you don't want to answer, but perhaps other subs will think of the same thing in their own relationships and maybe dig down and find out.

Akasha

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Post #: 22

RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/20/2008 5:14:05 PM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Isn't this what various checklists are for? To peruse each other's interests and decide if you have enough in common?

That way you know what he's focused on, and what would be best as a reward. And if you haven't any interest in it, then you don't need to discuss it any further. You just aren't compatible play wise.

DesFIP---a check list does not delve in to some of the things AAkasha eludes to, or expands to the how, how long, why, where---for example:

Likes bondage--could translate to: " i will submit to it only of its on my chest, around my arms, but come close to my nuts and you are toast.

Likes bondage---I will tie you to the cross and not let you free until I am ready.

But what Mistress---inspires you?

fantasies know no realistic human limitations, nor any realistic human emotions.

IMHO

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

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Post #: 23

RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/20/2008 5:30:23 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Isn't this what various checklists are for? To peruse each other's interests and decide if you have enough in common?

That way you know what he's focused on, and what would be best as a reward. And if you haven't any interest in it, then you don't need to discuss it any further. You just aren't compatible play wise.

DesFIP---a check list does not delve in to some of the things AAkasha eludes to, or expands to the how, how long, why, where---for example:

Likes bondage--could translate to: " i will submit to it only of its on my chest, around my arms, but come close to my nuts and you are toast.

Likes bondage---I will tie you to the cross and not let you free until I am ready.

But what Mistress---inspires you?

fantasies know no realistic human limitations, nor any realistic human emotions.

IMHO

For me, the question of bondage isn't so much, "So Mistress, are you into bondage? How will you tie me up? What kind of CBT do you do? Do you like inescapable bondage?" -- the questions are the ones that get me to reveal *what* about bondage turns me on. My answers might vary depending on my mood, but a common theme is about his reaction to bondage - struggling, ever so subtle (not thrashing), clenching his fists, the way his hips move against the bonds when he tries to get comfortable, the way he wet his lips in anticipation of a gag, the slight grimace when handcuffs are cold against his flesh. I like to see fingers digging at knots to try to loosen them. Even the most innocent, playful, non sexual bondage can make me so incredibly hot.

Akasha

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Post #: 24

RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/20/2008 9:38:57 PM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
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Aakasha,i am glad you mentioned the hand over the mouth in an earlier thread seeing it is my thing if you will.You want to hear an outlandish fantasy??I once fantasized that i was going to be handgagged by hook or by crook by every woman and Domina on the planet...now that is outlandish and obviously so sorry unrealistic.But what triggered it was an episode that took place when i was only six years old and then another episode in my late forties.The first one was the eventual building block of my interest in BDSM and i will keep it short.Basically,four women ages eighteen at thetime took turns clamping their hands over my mouth.I was being passed around for this to take place.While it scared the hell out of me,i always wondered why??Why did they do it,why did it happen,what were they thinking etc.The one thing i knew for sure at even that young an age...i liked the softness and suppleness of their hands over my mouth.Fast forward and i am attending my first munch.the Domina in charge of the group has one male and one female slave.The newcomers had to introduce themselves and tell what their favorite fetish was.When i said that mine was a gag fetish and more specifically a hand over my mouth,she was beside herself.She couldn't understand what it did for me and she certainly didn't feel that it could do anything for her.This conversation went on for about a half hour when she turned her attention to a female sub and within forty-five seconds of that conversation..doesn't her hand go over the female subs mouth and she kept it there till she was showing a more calm demeanor.Again..why??Only more of the angst was did i suddenly grow hair or something from my lips??I went to visit her some years later and again discussed it and again she gave me the it doesn't do anything for me routine.Sadly,she passed away from an anneurism less than two months to the day i visited.So i will never find out why her buttons were pushed when she covered the sub girls mouth as opposed to mine.Anyways..i am not on a trek anymore to have the female population handgag me but i always bring it up when i speak to any Domina pretty much right out of the gate.The activity if you will is so much a part of my makeup and personality,i would be doing the Domina and myself a huge disservice if i didn't bring it up.While it may befrowned or looked upon as a "do me" thing...i am just trying to be honest about it.

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Post #: 25

RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/20/2008 10:00:24 PM

puppy4owner

Posts: 40
Joined: 2/20/2008
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hmm, fantasies are a funny thing. some of my most favorite I would never do in real time,then some I would do everyday in realtime. Some fantasies you think you would never try or do turn out to be the shit. In handgagging(great term-never heard it), I used to have a girlfriend who would tie me up and ride me with her hand over my mouth and it was so incredible, maybe better than a ballgag-the gagging is very intimate with the hand

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Post #: 26

RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/20/2008 10:19:40 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
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There's something so delightfully illicit about delving into the twisted depths of another person's libido that thrills me to no end... and I love the power I can gain so easily just by whispering my own fantasies in a sultry voice into my pet's ear. He goes still and silent and hangs on my every word and I know I've got him in the palm of my hand at that moment. He knows he's not allowed to ask for details. I could be telling him this nasty little tale as a precursor to what I'm actually going to do to him in that scene... or I could just be toying with him and have no intention of doing it at that time. Either way, he's on the edge of his seat to the very end.

When it comes to a slave telling me his fantasies, I also require a certain level of balance. Getting a message in my inbox from someone I have no established relationship with containing no introduction whatsoever, other than a detailed fantasy about what they want me to do to them... no matter how hot the fantasy itself is, it rubs me the wrong way. My thought is always "Did I ASK you to tell me your fantasies? No? Then why do I care?" Even worse are the ones that try to goad me into a 'preview' of sorts with pushy questions that just irk me to no end. When I share my fantasies it's on MY terms, in my scene. Not theirs.

I always prefer to initiate the sharing of fantasies. My pet occasionally will tell me he had an interesting thought earlier that day and then ask permission to share it with me, which I almost always allow when presented to me in that manner. He never presents it in a pushy or demanding manner, something I didn't even have to teach him... and that pleases me greatly. If I enjoy the fantasy he shares with me, I'll often reward him by writing it into a short story just for him, or to tease him sometimes I'll write in my own.

God, where would we be without our imaginations?

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Post #: 27

RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/21/2008 8:17:34 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
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"picky cantankerous bitch" I would expect(see that's how i get in trouble) no less from a Domme

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RE: Sharing Fantasies - 3/22/2008 10:58:59 AM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
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To me, there's a big difference between "my fantasies" and "the things I'm hoping to someday experience". The best thing about fantasy is that one can enjoy the excitement of an extreme (or even physically impossible) scenario without worrying about the logical consequences. For example, I've been known to fantasise about being sold into slavery, which is very erotic because I can imagine the humiliation of being auctioned off like a piece of livestock and the submissive thrill of setting eyes on my new owner - a complete stranger, of course - for the very first time. The scenario works as a fantasy because I don't have to think about the havoc that actually being sold could wreak on my life, for instance if I ended up in the hands of someone who hauled me off to work in a salt mine in some distant country and didn't allow me to have any contact with my family.

My point, I suppose, is that sharing a fantasy doesn't necessarily amount to a request for a specific type of "play". Some of us simply have rather overactive imaginations, and enjoy contemplating and discussing scenarios that we wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole in reality. Of course, it's also fun to talk about more practical possibilities that might someday be realised, but that's an entirely different kettle of fish.

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Post #: 29