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Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 8:16:39 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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I just got an e-mail asking how the sender could get to view parts of my body. My initial thought was "Permission from my owner".

Then I recalled a time in my life many years ago when I was a waitress in a night club and some wrestlers from the WWF were in town and chose that spot as their hang out for the night. I'd gotten off work early and was enjoying the band, the bass guitar player especially as I was dating him at the time. One of the wrestlers wanted to dance with me and literally dragged me to the dance floor where I refused to perform for him. Upon learning about my relationship, he stormed the stage, stopping the music and asked my boyfriend if he could dance with me, to which the reply was "of course". I was incensed that this man would give me away so freely and without asking my own desires and immediately ceased relations with him.

I guess it just points to me a sharp contrast of where I was and where my journey brought me too, as I believe now if the same request was presented I'd react completely different and my emotional reaction would be completely reversed.

And I'm wondering what question I have to wrap this up and I guess it's simply to wonder if others have similar memories and experiences.

Edit to change spelling and mess up my font.

< Message edited by OmegaG -- 3/21/2008 8:19:04 AM >

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

Post #: 1

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 8:42:16 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
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From: Kalamazoo, MI
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I never would have guessed that being called a slut, or being told firmly "on your knees" would give me a rush of pride.

Yes, things change, but for a lot of us definitely for the better!

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RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 9:09:41 AM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
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From: the future
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... can i ignore the question and ask who the wrestler was? xD

(in reply to OmegaG)

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RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 9:20:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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LOL I remember early on a cyber friend describing his relationship with his girl and it was SO Ds. The hysterical part was both my friend AND his girlfriend assured me in many ways that they both enjoyed this, they both felt it was good for them, they both had come together under it. They were so patient with my crazy little self.

I wasn't in any secure or mature place yet to understand- I liked getting forced to have sex, but being told what to wear and where to go? That's WRONG! It took a few more months of growth, awareness and exposure to have the lightbulb go on and laugh at myself over it.

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Post #: 4

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 10:26:21 AM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
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This really seems like a situation that could only happen to a femal lol. No woman would ever just hand their man over, only men seem to be comfortable with that.

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RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 10:33:50 AM

chamberqueen

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From: Kalamazoo, MI
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I respectfully disagree. I've known men that glory in being turned over to another woman, especially if it is a humiliating experience.

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RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 10:44:48 AM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
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I guess I'm still at the "beginning" stage, 'cause I'd react like Omega did with the musician. I just can't imagine giving up my independence (hard-won) and autonomy (35 years of living on my own and making all my own decisions) for anyone.

But I'm sure if I find the right man, those ideas will change.

*edited to fix my messed-up formatting*

< Message edited by Poetryinpain -- 3/21/2008 10:46:09 AM >

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RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 10:58:53 AM

Lashra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

This really seems like a situation that could only happen to a femal lol. No woman would ever just hand their man over, only men seem to be comfortable with that.

SOME men, mine would have told him "ask her" and I would have said No. Personally if someone asked me in a respectful way if they could dance with my sub I would say yes that they could dance with him. There would be no taking off of his clothes because his body is for MY pleasure. But if they treated him like a mindless piece of meat such as the case with OmegaG, I would have told them to fuck off.

Sorry I dislike rudeness a great deal and to me these wrestlers felt it was ok to treat OmegaG in a rude way. As a Dominant, I wouldn't have stood for it, but thats just me.

~Lashra

< Message edited by Lashra -- 3/21/2008 11:00:05 AM >

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to KarbonCopy)

Post #: 8

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 12:28:13 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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I think the two things are apples and oranges. You were in an equal relationship with the musician. You hadn't discussed sharing you with others. And most of all, I imagine you thought he was giving permission because he was afraid of the wrestler. Nor did he bother to see how you felt about it. All of which is totally different than a relationship in which such things have been discussed upfront, and in which you feel that if it were something that made you unhappy he would notice that and talk to you about it, and also that he wasn't doing what this other guy wanted just so he wouldn't get beat up and to hell with what happens to you.

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Post #: 9

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 12:43:38 PM

OmegaG

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Lashra

The wrestlers were treating everyone rudely, but everyone else was in awe of the "celeberties" so I was the only one that wasn't playing. In all honestly, I didn't know who they were.

DesFIP
I realize that the two scenarios are apples and oranges, but I also recognize that my mind set has changed. Back then I was pissed that the autonomy was taken away from me, now I've given that autonomy freely to someone else.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 10

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 1:23:08 PM

Sirandlil1

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DesFIP
I realize that the two scenarios are apples and oranges, but I also recognize that my mind set has changed. Back then I was pissed that the autonomy was taken away from me, now I've given that autonomy freely to someone else.
[/quote]

I see a big difference you stated "Back then I was pissed that the autonomy was taken away from me" and now I've given that autonomy freely to someone else....perhaps your mind set has not changed at all . Would you not be just as upset today if someone who you had not freely given this autonomy to tried to take it from you?

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A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

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Post #: 11

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 1:29:33 PM

OmegaG

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Back then I wouldn't have given it to anyone.

Let's say for a moment that we walked into a club today and the wrestlers were there, I expect that m'Lord wouldn't stand for the wrestler taking liberties as he did. I expect that he wouldn't tell the wrestler to ask me if I wanted to dance, I expect that he'd probably decide in the negative, but let's say for sake of argument that for whatever reason he did decide that dancing with this guy would be fine, At this point in my life I would do as he asked.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Sirandlil1)

Post #: 12

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 1:44:03 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
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From: Kentucky
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Good post!
I can relate!

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Post #: 13

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 2:22:57 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

Back then I wouldn't have given it to anyone.

Let's say for a moment that we walked into a club today and the wrestlers were there, I expect that m'Lord wouldn't stand for the wrestler taking liberties as he did. I expect that he wouldn't tell the wrestler to ask me if I wanted to dance, I expect that he'd probably decide in the negative, but let's say for sake of argument that for whatever reason he did decide that dancing with this guy would be fine, At this point in my life I would do as he asked.

I think, though, Omega, that one of the differences is that the D/s dynamic appears to create a much closer relationship than the vanilla one. You trust your Dominant to make a decision that is best for him, you, and the relationship. Thus you would do as he asked. At least that's how I read it, newbie that I am.

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 14

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 6:44:15 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

DesFIP
I realize that the two scenarios are apples and oranges, but I also recognize that my mind set has changed. Back then I was pissed that the autonomy was taken away from me, now I've given that autonomy freely to someone else.

Omega, that's the important part. That you have chosen to do this, and not have it taken against your will.

I don't think that I've changed that much. I do feel that the biggest difference is this time I'm in a relationship with a man whom I can trust enough to turn things over to. I have never before been in a relationship with someone this trustworthy, and I was married for over 20 years.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 15

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 7:09:46 PM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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you have a very good point there, thanks

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 7:21:56 PM

aphrodite5

Posts: 71
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

I used to laugh when boys tried to spank me. They thought it was sexy. I thought it was hilarious.

These days I'm much less prone to giggles, and much more receptive to a good swat.

...But I still giggle sometimes if it was my sassy mouth that earned the spank. I love playful teasing and such. Thank goodness Daddy plays the same way.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 17

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 7:48:43 PM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Yes they felt their "celebrity" status gave them free reign to treat people as rudely as they wanted to. Sorry but rudeness is rudeness I dont care who you are, I still would have told them to fuck off

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 18

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 8:21:01 PM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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I was dating a guy when I was 17 that after a while started initiating more and more control settings. I had to tell him when I left home, where I was going, call when i got there and if I left where i was going next etc etc. He wanted to know my school and work schedule, often picking me up after work. At first i thought it was sweet then i went "WFT i'm not answering to anyone, i'm allowed to do what ever the hell i want" and dumped him. Well part of the dumping him was he wanted to get married and well i was 17 lol.

Looking back now that I have accepted myself and what i actually and truly want in a relationship. LOL he was the perfect man.

Oh well live and learn

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Post #: 19

RE: Oh, how things have changed - 3/21/2008 9:30:38 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Sorry but rudeness is rudeness I dont care who you are, I still would have told them to fuck off

~Lashra

Agreed and I would have too

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 20

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