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AmanTei -> RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissive male (10/7/2005 10:09:01 PM)
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If I may... commenting on your picture may not be the most helpful. In My humble opionion, you need to heal first. If you are constantly haunted by the past, you can not move into the future. You will veiw any new Dommina as a source of possible abuse.
To begin the healing process try these steps:
1. Identify exactly what you considered abusive about the relationship, then seek validation from someone else. Validation is important because often submissives talk themselves into believeing that because they are submissives, they Dom must be right and perhaps they are misunderstanding the situation.
2. Once you understand way deep inside that the dom that you loved was wrong, they will always be wrong and that there is nothing you could have done to make them right, you can start to heal.
3. No submissive likes to be alone. They breath for Someone else,. Everything they do is to make they life of Another easier. When they are alone, they have no motivation to do things for themselves. Many Doms do not understand this, They think that attention seeking is wrong. Approval seeking is a bad thing. Attention and approval are what slaves and subissives live for. Without it they are lost.
Sorry, but my opionion says see to yourself first. Even though it is hard without a Domina, you need to stablize yourself before you seek again. Stablization means emotionaly, finacialy and physically. Unless you can acheive these 3 things you are unfit to serve. Through this stablilization you will heal.
4. Forgive your abuser. Many people end up in this lifestyle by accident. Dom- submissive....take your choice. Those that choose to Dominate rarely understand the responcibility this entails. Having the emotional and physical well-being of another human in your hands is tantamont of being a parent. Just like there are bad abusive or neglective parents they simply can not live up to expectations, and just liike those parents the damage is both perminant and devistateing. You will never ever get over what this DOm did or did not do, but you can forgive Them and move on to better things. Incidently, forgive does not mean forget, never forget what was or was not done to make this an imperfect relationship, because experiance is all that you get, when you don't get what you want, and it all that you have to make certain it does not happen again...
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