RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissive male

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissive male

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 10:39:31 AM

Lordskitten

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Joined: 10/12/2005
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As a kitten myself, i can totally understand where you are coming from Alder. The desire to be loved, held, coo'd, and petted is strong. But dont expect things to happen imeditately. I've known i was submissive since i was 16..and still have yet to have a steady master (25 now..) I've had a lot of in and out relationships, failed online romances that never made it RL, and a lot more. Be comfortable with yourself first and for most. If your desire to be a cat is genuine and not just 'to entertain my mistress'..and you fancy yourself a feline (no i dont mean for real, i mean emotionally.) it might help you work through your lonelyness and pain to focus on that more for yourself then others. Groom yourself infront of the mirror as a cat does, buy a small dangle cat toy that you can hook somewhere on your desk and while your online, talking on these boards or with people look at it and let it bring joy to your heart and a smile to your lips.

Not all things revolve around others...The desire to be loved is strong in a lot of people, myself included. Some days i feel i'll go insane because my Master and i are still in the rocky beginings of our relationship and i want it NOW demmit! lol. But that never works and only hurts the relationship. Be comfortable with yourself, love yourself (as far as you can...i'm sure 90% of people have things they cant love about themselves.)

I also see a lot of people commenting on how you need to heal first, but i know from first hand experience LOVE CAN HEAL! Feeling you are truely worth it is a wonderful feeling and can help shed old scar'd skin much faster. Unfortunately it is a burden most find uncomfortable when so much is excepted.."Can i do it? what if one night i'm just not feeling well...Will he revert and go into a depressed state again? Ugh i dont want that happen." Thats a lot of pressure.

Being more specific in the degradition, NONE is ok? for me, i have some flaws that i feel VERY self concious about. My master purposefully humiliates me by caressing a scar i'm ashamed of, or a patch of hair that shouldnt be there. When i pull away and beg for him to stop through my tears, he cups my cheeks and tenderly tells me that he owns me, loves me, and will touch anything of his that he pleases. it is so empowering for me!! I am beautiful, i am his perfect kitten. Some humilation can be very good for your self esteem. Go figure

Well i've rambled on long enough. I hope your journey is a good one my fellow kitty. *rubs cheeks with you and purrs*

(in reply to AlderTheKitty)

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 10:58:34 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Would some of this desire to express a kitty persona being filled by getting involved in the Furry community?

There are many kinky furries out there (my slave is one of them and he runs an online dungeon for some of them) and you could talk through feelings and ideas there.

Just a thought.

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 11:22:48 AM

Lordskitten

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sounds like a good productive idea thetammyjo. I think Alder, that focusing more on things you can do to make yourself happy first and fore most is gonna make a huge difference in finding that perfect Domme. Your an adorable guy with a heart of gold. Dont let the struggle get you down, it can take a while (always keep that in mind.)

Oh, and if you could maybe link a website for the online dungeon you mentioned that your sub runs, i'd be interested in checking out *smiles*.

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 11:43:18 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordskitten
Oh, and if you could maybe link a website for the online dungeon you mentioned that your sub runs, i'd be interested in checking out *smiles*.

http://www.geocities.com/vixen_femfur/

Dark Pearl Dungeon and it also has a yahoogroup I think.

He's VickiVixen in his furry persona FYI.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 12:00:12 PM

AlderTheKitty

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/3/2005
From: Oshawa
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thats a vary intresting idea i'll have to check it out later

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 12:12:08 PM

Lordskitten

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Mmmm unfortunately after i get into the site none of the links work..i get the "page cant be found" error :(

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 12:49:20 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
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quote:

after i get into the site none of the links work..i get the "page cant be found" error

Yes, I had the same problem. The link to the Yahoo group works but the others are broken.

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 2:19:39 PM

firefey

Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AlderTheKitty

good point the reason i want to find a new domme is because i have no outlet for my caring feelings i have no pets nowhere to focus my love causeing me to start to have feelings that i'm unwanted and useless

so all the people that you have around you right now, all the friends that you talked about earlier don't matter? their love means nothing? the emotional attatchment you have to them is irrlevant? that sounds really ungrateful to me.

quote:

the reason i don't want a "non-service relationship" which i think by that you ment vanilla is that i can't seam to be comfortable relating my feelings in that situation as a sub i find it much more easy to express how i feel

actually i didn't mean vanilla. i have many relationships with submissives who are not mine and who do not serve me. never the less we have good, healthy, loving friendships. you can be a sub in every sence of the word and not have that be the one thing that defines you. but it seems to be that you haven't gotten past that yet. and maybe that's the thing i keep reacting to. you are you first, and a sub second. a sub is part of who you are, but not the only part. if all you are is your submission there isn't really that much there for a potential domme to sink her teeth into. so to speak.

quote:

you are right about it putting unfair pressure but if i wake up from one more dream of being in a dommes arms to find my self cold and alone i'm gonna cry then likly hurt my self because it's like being abandoned every morning

i feel the need to be a bit harsh here, but what makes you so special? there are hundreds of thousands of people who go to be every night alone and wake up in the same state. they hurt, they seek, they quest and at the end of the day they are just as alone as they were the day before. and like i said earlier, what about the friends you have around you? you talk as if only the love and caring of a domme means anything to you. if i were a friend, i would feel slighted by that. yes love can help heal, but it isn't first aid nor is it the magivcal cure for everything. the things i read from you really make me wonder if you have a realistic expectaion of your next inolvement.

< Message edited by firefey -- 10/12/2005 2:21:12 PM >

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 2:59:54 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

after i get into the site none of the links work..i get the "page cant be found" error

Yes, I had the same problem. The link to the Yahoo group works but the others are broken.

Go to the Yahoogroups then I guess.

I'm not a furry so I don't go there at all. I just looked it up cause you all asked.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Post #: 49

RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 3:16:24 PM

AlderTheKitty

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/3/2005
From: Oshawa
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meow your right i do have friends and they do care allot about me they are trying to teach me how to become a more desireable submissive and i should be more gratefull to have them they do so much to help me one couple took me out for ice cream to cheer me up when i found out my domme was cheating one me

but yeah you brought a good point up

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/12/2005 4:58:47 PM

onceburned

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From: Iowa
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned
The link to the Yahoo group works but the others are broken.

Go to the Yahoogroups then I guess.

I'm not a furry so I don't go there at all. I just looked it up cause you all asked.

And thank you for doing so!

I am not a furry either, although I find the whole idea somewhat interesting. The homepage for his yahoo group has a link listed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry I think if I take the time to go through all of the links, will satisfy my curiosity.

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RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/13/2005 7:57:12 AM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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I only know about furries cause of my slave though I have and do ocassional role-play with him -- I play a panther who is a retired general in the predator army and he's the fox captain I captured who lives at my whim at my country estate.

Biggest problem with the role-playing is that I'm not physically bigger than him (at least not in terms of height where he is 5'11" and I'm only 5'7"). But hey, this is what are imaginations, his kneeling, and me standing on a step are for, right?

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Post #: 52

RE: what do most domanant women look for in a submissiv... - 10/14/2005 4:47:16 PM

AlderTheKitty

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/3/2005
From: Oshawa
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lol thats intresting i'm not really a furry ie i don't ideantify as an animal but i do like to play a cutelittle kitten for a nice mistress hence the name

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