quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Kitten is VERY submissive...

That's the sort of comment I will never understand.  "very" to one person can mean "barely" to another

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

I find the article fascinating on many levels and am interested in peoples points of views regarding this topic ,who care to share them.

Does this clinging to of ego supports or pride contribute to the act of or performance of submission by the individual themselves?  i place my ego and my pride into the hands of the one that i serve.  it takes strength and trust to relinquish those attributes into the hands of the one i serve. whether it is for humiliation or nurturing... they are his to do with as he pleases.
 
 Is not a submergence or relinquishment of the ego a necessary forestep to submission itself?  i believe it is paramount. otherwise would it not be forced and unconsentual domination?  can one really be giving of their complete self otherwise?
 
To me each attempt to measure or set standards is a demonstration of failure to comprehend the base nature of submission itself. this could easily be taken out of context but imo that statement is referring to the generalization that we are all the same in our submission when in fact we are not.  how can standards and measures say that one is more submissive in nature than anyone else without disrupting the fact that submission is submission regardless.
 
The theory that any individual can go to school (or through 'training') 'learn' how to be a submissive and that the nature of what motivates, empowers and sustains a submissive can be somehow transmitted through lessons suggests a gross misunderstanding of what submission truly is.  later mentioned again at the bottom, anyone can "act" the part if and when they want to and i think that is the point.  Playing a part does not constitute a submissive nature.  One is either submissive in nature or they are not.  if this isn't true then why the hell do i see so many complaints about how many fakes are one this site alone?  i have had my share of what i call "kinksters"  they aren't being true about what they really are and have no clue about what submission is about. being kinky doesn't make you submissive or dominant....it's just being kinking, ugh the players out there!

Emergence is not a process of 'becoming' but a process of spiritual birth. The submissive exists at the core of the being. They are. They exist.  Truly.  i am what i am.  i do hate that it took me so long in life to discover that i am not the only one in the world that feels the way that i do.  that i can be accepted for who and how and what i am without fear, finally and it has been very empowering to my own self acceptance.
 
 At some point the submissive begins tearing down the walls of their 'shell' or 'egg' to reveal or give birth to themselves in their natural form.  all this stated in my first post to this thread.  if we hadn't torn down the walls of conformity, i would not be who i am.  i would still be a clueless doormat (as my mom use to call me).  it has been a slow process and there are still things to learn but finally i am at peace with who i am.
 
Many things can act to aid the submissive in this process of emergent birth through tools of understanding, new pathways of thought and the support of others who have emerged before them in words of encouragement and embracement.   again, thank goodness for the internet and my mentors and those that i have met.  i don't know how the rest of you discovered the lifestyle but here in part of the bible belt, and having led a sheltered life, there wasn't much else to turn to.
 
Emergence is not the action of molding, training, modeling or shaping of some indistinct mass but instead the simple straight forward casting off of the ill-fitting expectations and assumptions of those surrounding them, ... again...self acceptance, tossing aside the robes of conformity and "acceptable" behavior in a vanilla world.  nobody can teach you to let go of  these things, you either do it or you don't.  if you do, you are probably into to the lifestyle or know a lot about it and are open to it.

 Revealment of the core requires that the individual face and confront at every juncture those things which have produced and maintained the shell inside of which they have hidden from view. it is a scary thing to expose everything about oneself and to trust that the one that you are showing isn't going to run away screaming.  To hide your core, is to lie by omission.  it takes trust and openness, something that this lifestyle embraces... you just can't do that in the vanilla world, they label you and you buy into it if you aren't sure of yourself.
 
These things are personal fears of the judgment of others, shame in the inner belief of the purity of the self, guilt in the inability to truthfully adhere to the desires and needs of others expectations of them and finally pain. when you can embrace the fact that you no longer have those fears and consequences of what others think, it can be very liberating. 

 In that moment when they are free of all controls, needs, desires, wishes, wants and expectations their offering of service unto their personal belief is cleansed. 
To let go of all that you have ever been before coming into the lifestyle, to let go of fear, guilt, conformity, others expectations really does lighten up the spirit and opens the door.  Diminishing the pain inflicted by society and the ignorant, enhances the power of effortless submission.  At least it did for me.

 Invulnerable to the temptations and manipulations of the world and others around them. An offering of this purity of being, this force within is without any question the greatest gift that can ever be offered from one human being to another.   It takes a very special person with a tremendous amount of strength to throw off all that kept them cocooned and to take flight.  i agree that it is a gift because not everybody is entitled to submission and the one fortunate enough to receive such submission should value it more than anything else.  After all, good submissives don't grow on trees!
 
 If this realm were merely about the offering of the body for the entertainment or sustenance of the illusion of submission then any actor could fill the role and play the game.   Again..... players and kinksters... take note for it is you that is not entitled to submission in its purest form and i can now spot you guys fairly quick.

But this isn't about the simple offering of the body, or the offering of easy things. Is it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Actually, if you read the article on the website, complete with paragraphs and all, it seems to be listing those words as mere descriptors of what people over the years have decided what a "good submissive" is.  The article goes on to challenge those descriptors

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

I usually don't read alot of articles like this because frankly I'm usually not too concerned with what anyone else considers a "good" submissive/slave.  As long as I'm clear on Master's expectations/desires/etc., I find lots of writings like these just serve no productive purpose.  They may be great, wise ideas but they just don't apply to our life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What a load of overblown hyperbole.  Great stuff for snagging women off the internet though, I mean who wouldn't want to be that!  However, there isn't a practical suggestion anywhere in there on how to achieve any of that.

Many things can act to aid the submissive in this process of emergent birth through tools of understanding, new pathways of thought and the support of others who have emerged before them in words of encouragement and embracement.
 
Perhaps you just skimmed over this part? 

quote:

The 'Good' Submissive

Good - better - best - favorable - bountiful - fertile - handsome - attractive - suitable - fit - profitable - advantageous - pleasant - agreeable - salutary - wholesome - amusing - clever - considerable - ample - full - well-founded - cogent - real - actualized...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
See the difference.  It is easy to write about the concept, it requires actual knowledge and experience to write about how to actually do something.  It also takes the ability to really understand not only how to do something but how to explain it to someone who hasn't done it before.
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What a load of overblown hyperbole.  Great stuff for snagging women off the internet though, I mean who wouldn't want to be that!  However, there isn't a practical suggestion anywhere in there on how to achieve any of that.

Many things can act to aid the submissive in this process of emergent birth through tools of understanding, new pathways of thought and the support of others who have emerged before them in words of encouragement and embracement.
 
Perhaps you just skimmed over this part? 

I didn't skim over anything.  Yes, the writing is all nice and purty but there is no meat in it.

Many things (doesn't mention what those things are )can act to aid the submissive in this process (what process, the whole process, the beginning, or?) of emergent birth (two nice words that mean the same thing and still don't tell us anything specific) through tools (again, not a single specific mention of the exact tool )of understanding(of understanding what exactly?), new pathways of thought (again, doesn't mention what exactly those pathways consist of nor the ones to abandon) and the support of others (which others, where do you find them, how do you sort the good others from the bad others) who have emerged before (emerged from what exactly and how did they do that?) them in words of encouragement and embracement(gee, she can't even list what sort of words and what the hell is an embracement anyway?).
 
Lets use the tool analogy, here is how I read the passage.
 
To make a beautiful wooden bowl, select an appropriate wood and carefully choose the grain direction in order to maximize the beauty.  Mount properly in the machine and using the correct tool create a pleasing shape.  After preparing the surface for the finish, apply one that will maximize the beauty.
 
If you already know how to do it, what I wrote makes perfect sense, however, Steele is supposedly writing to someone who HASN"T done it and so what she is written is pretty but useless.
 
To create a beautiful bowl, find a piece of hardwood such as walnut, maple, or mulberry and select a section where a single branch separates into two different branches, this section is called the crotch for obvious reasons.  Look for a piece that is at least 8-10 inches in diameter.  Using a typical tree trimming bow saw, cut out the section so that you have the top of the crotch where it divides into two and about 8-12 inches down from there.
 
See the difference.  It is easy to write about the concept, it requires actual knowledge and experience to write about how to actually do something.  It also takes the ability to really understand not only how to do something but how to explain it to someone who hasn't done it before.
 
In my opinion, she clearly lacks all of those skills.  You can read the same sort of lofty stuff in chatrooms written by people who have never once had a real woman bent over their knee let alone actually facilitated the "emergence" of a submissive!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

The good Dom

Good - better - best - favorable - bountiful - fertile - handsome - attractive - suitable - fit - profitable - advantageous - pleasant - agreeable - salutary - wholesome - amusing - clever - considerable - ample - full - well-founded - cogent - real - actualized...Dominant